You need to learn how to evaluate evidence objectively. But before that, you need to learn how to think critically. You need to build up a "baloney detection kit" so that you know how to sort crap from fact.
It is partly because you currently lack these kinds of skills that you believe in all kinds of nutty conspiracy theories. Not knowing which source(s) to believe, you just choose the ones that suit your personal disposition. Being distrustful of authorities, you turn to less reliable sources for your information. But with no way to evaluate the reliability of those sources, you end up in a position where you believe lots of things that simply have no good evidentiary support (let alone expert support - you know, support from the kinds of people who actually have the required analytical skills that you lack, who also tend to be among the many people you distrust because they seem "other" to you).
The good news is: even now, it's not too late for you to learn the relevant skills. Having already wasted years of your life on nonsense, you could, if you chose, try to learn how to think critically about information you come across from various sources. There are plenty of good educational resources available to you. Mind you, without the skills to sort the crap from the facts, it can be hard to choose good learning resources. And when you don't trust "authorities" such as universities and other places of learning to teach you reliable methods for thinking and analysis, the temptation is just to stick with same old same old rather than to risk trusting somebody who might actually be reliable.
You face a dilemma, and probably not for the first time. But surely by you must have gained enough life experience to realise that the conspiracy crap isn't working for you. Maybe now would be a good time for you to try out something new?
