it is interesting that there appears to be at least two perspectives on what amounts to abuse, slowly emerging in this thread...
You mean yours and everyone else's?
If you mean in terms of abusing
someone, then along the lines of deliberate attempt to cause harm.
Currently a hot debate in the USA about Gun control.
Is it the gun
the gunner
or both combined?
This is a very poor example, in that guns are specifically designed to be used in a certain manner - i.e. to harm life.
Compare to a hammer: designed with a non-harmful purpose in mind, that can be used to harm.
Ad hominem arguments are simply arguments that attack the person so as to avoid addressing the argument at hand. Harmful or not is in the intent to which the neutral form is applied.
Could it be the same with a person who uses name calling?
Can the name caller and the tools of the name caller really be treated as separate?
Example:
"The insulter is not me, it is only what I do"
No more than anything someone does can be treated as separate from themselves.
Also bear in mind that name-calling, in this context at least, is the deliberate attempt to hurt someone's feelings - so again somewhat different to an ad hominem argument. An ad hominem might be an insult, but it needn't be.
To wit, two cab drivers having a discussion:
A: "Westminster is the first area you drive through once you cross the bridge."
B: "But the map says that if you drive over the bridge then you're in Pimplico, not Westminster."
A: "Ah, but you never drive over the bridge, do you, so what do you know!"
A has no intention to insult, but the last comment is an ad hominem, attacking B rather than their point. In this case, the fact that driver B never drives on the other side of the bridge doesn't have any bearing on what the map says. But A uses this fact as an attack against driver B, to avoid addressing B's point. And by "attack" it simply means raising a point aimed at/about the person, in an ad hom usually in an effort to discredit the argument they have just made.
Had A concluded by saying "But I've hear you're a *&$%ing $£@#, so what do you know!" then this would still be an ad hominem but also an insult.