Many older people have trouble adjusting to the times; I've known several of them, including people in my family. Their Overton window simply cannot move that far. Younger people were born during a time when the Overton window has already moved; they grow up in a world where gay marriage and interracial marriage are simply the norm. Older people do not have that luxury.
When I asked someone↑ if they would hear it from the eighty-six year-old woman, it's because Joyce Carol Oates made an important point that people keep forgetting. Generationally, I've had the discussion with my mother, and the youngest generation of women in our family has talked about it with the matriarchs, as well.
It's a straightforward question with a straightforward answer: When was the last time a transgender woman caused you any trouble in a restroom or locker room?
We might also wonder about the first time, but for women like my mother, or my aunt, or the unrelated eighty-six year old lady at Princeton, the answer is that it never really came up. And I might recall nearly eight years ago↗ when I had occasion to object to the proposition that transgender should be expected to answer for a cisgender pervert. Even eight years ago, the answer to the question was so obvious that anti-trans activists had to do the creepy stuff in order to suggest, well, imagine if that was a trans person. And that was a rehash, even then, at least a year↗ after the fact↗. And if, nine years ago↗, I reminded it is easy enough to joke about the idea of Mike Huckabee and Ben Carson putting on dresses in order to masturbate in the women's restroom↱, and that there does come a point at which we might wonder about the immediate functional dangers of testing their argument like that, it was nearly ten years ago that the great restroom debate appeared in presidential politics.
Will they hear it from the eighty-six year-old woman? No, and we need not wonder why. Thus, they start in medias res, presupposing traditionalist and even rightist talking points.
I wouldn't disagree about the overton window, but there is also a mysterious diversity implicit in the otherwise strikingly consistent anti-trans argument and conduct. This is what it looks like when an ossified overton window runs up against reality, i.e., that point I keep making about when science↗ and reality↗ inform differently↗ than the superstitions of the prevailing societal narrative.
The rough line is to remind that one need not be explicitly religious to be a terf or masculinist, but if there's one belief terfs, masculinists, and Christian nationalists (and even actual Nazis) all share, it's the proper place of a woman. And, yes, that value is in play. The kid-glove version is to simply suggest that if the behavior looks familiar, so also is the threshold. Vis à vis overton frameworks of certain vintage, it's kind of like religion in a time of fundamental truths coming unanchored.