Zombies; What say you?

Discussion in 'UFOs, Ghosts and Monsters' started by Kernl Sandrs, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    645
    Not sure if this belongs here or Pseudoscience.


    I'm curious just how many people believe in the possibility of zombies.:bugeye:


    Whether you believe it or not, suppose there was;


    1) Where would you

    A) Ideally like to go, and
    B) Likely go.

    2) What would be your

    A) Preferred mode of transportation, and
    B) Most likely means of transportation.

    3) What do you believe is the most likely cause of a zombie apocalypse?

    For me,

    1A: Hawaii or the Aleutian Islands.
    1B: The crawlspace under my house.

    2A: Airship!!
    2B: My truck.

    3) I'm not entirely sure. Brain parasites, maybe?




    And now for the links. Just some things I found interesting and slightly, moderately thought provoking.

    1) See the links at the bottom of the page.

    2) I doubt this articles credibility, but it's still a good read.

    3) Scientists have apparently achieved a form of reanimation.

    4) The Pentagon is apparently working on zombie pigs, so you know your tax dollars are being put to good use.

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    5) And this place called "Canada" (never heard of it

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    ) is interested in zombies, as well.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2010
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  3. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Well there isn't such things as Zombies other that what we all either read about or go to watch at the movies. That being said I really don't worry about them what so ever. However if you are that worried than join NASA and go into outer space to avoid them totally.
     
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  5. Enmos Registered Senior Member

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    What makes you think zombies aren't in outer spaces as well?

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  7. razordude ouch. Registered Senior Member

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    i would say maybe or maybe not they could be in the jungle or some other non popuated area but otherwise no because if they had really existed and were a big threat we'd have heard aboput it in the news.
     
  8. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

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    645

    Is that Hypnotoad?
     
  9. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    Somewhere safe!

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    My flat.

    Micvee

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    Big gun, lots of internal room. And water-boiling facilities (as per most Brit AFVs) for making coffee.

    Walk. (Or run).

    Too many zombies. Obviously.
     
  10. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

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    645

    Have you read The Murderer? Ray Bradbury wrote it back in the 50's and it details things like people being constantly bombarded with advertisements, communicating almost constantly, watching large amounts of television, movies, excessive computer use, basically modern life as we know it today. Just because it's not here today does not mean it won't be here tomorrow.

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  11. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    22,087
    Funny; I sort of sensed it was about zombie time. But have no fear: the master is here.

    Depending on the kind of outbreak, the only hope of survival is a hard-enclosed area of several hundred hecares. That's right: hectares as in land management and agriculture, because without a renewable supply of food, survivors will all be back to subsistence agriculture in ten years at most. Five is nearer the mark. Perishables will be gone in a month; canned goods are rarely consumable past two or three years. Dry foods will go longer - twice-baked bread actually has a decent shelf life, though not past the canned sell-by - but one gets tired of carbs. If you can process meat and dry it, you might have a store that will last you long enough to get started on your new life as a peasant. Or a lordling if you happen to have one of Dyw's AFVs. Two things in consideration until you can find yourself an island or fortified peninsula: silence, so that you don't end up with a chain of a million zombies or so following your AFV (yes, you, Dyw), and temporary security, like a nice shopping centre. The latter is considered total safety by many zombie survivors - food (since every mall has a pet store), clothing, generator and a very aesthetic water fountain in the middle - but is actually a deathtrap in the end. How are you going to get out? If the zombies rot in a couple years, great, depending on how many people are in there with you (and let's hope it's not just you so you don't go stark raving mad). If not...well, zombies like malls - and I hope you can seal off the massive, plate glass windows, by the by. The lights will go eventually, since no matter how much gas you have stocked up, the generator will eat it up, and whatever isn't being used will go bad. It doesn't last forever and BP won't be delivering, no matter what their prospectus says. Within a few years, it's back to shank's mare, or an actual mare if any horses have survived.

    (Edit: they won't have. Ever read "Maneaters of Kumayon"? My dad's favourite book. The author was a hunter of man-eating tigers and wolves in India, and lions in Africa. His technique wasn't anything special...just got up and walked after them, trailing them all the while. Not running, like Conan trailing a deer, not jogging. Just getting up in the morning and walking. The animals, you see, lack two things: willpower, so that they can make themselves keep going, and free time to hunt for food along the way. So they get weaker, and you keep following, walking steadily after them...sound like anything in this scenario? Except the zombies don't have to sleep either...so any wildlife larger than a chicken, let alone domestic animal strains, are fucked from the word go...and there weren't three hundred million hunters wandering around after the tigers and wolves in the book.)

    Now, people do say that the mall is a deathtrap, and it might well be. Zombie clearance is the issue - but this is the genius of a mall defense. No mall stocks ammo...outside Texas, anyway...and you're probably asking yourself: I survived the initial zombie rush and the waves of buttless-chap Australians, but how do I clear out the hordes massed around the mall? Easy, since you have nothing but time: you go zombie-fishing. One handy rope that reaches from the nice flat roof to the ground and a single cinder block, and you have a game both helpful to your immediate situation as well as being good fun for everyone, since a cinder block dropped to the head kills zombies as easily as regular humans; the rope makes for handy retrieval. (Just don't forget to wear gloves.)

    But all in all, an island is the place to be, preferably with a nice strong undertow so that the aimlessly wandering hordes don't eventually catch sight of your fires - don't forget, you're back in the Stone Age again - from the mainland and decide to walk over and see what's for dinner. Of course, the odd zombie is going to show up sooner or later, unless you're far enough out that z-heads walking across the bottom would lose their direction in the gloom. Or maybe they'd chase fish, even: who knows? Even then, there's such a thing as random chance and infected bandits. No, a nice unknown island is best, with lots of arable land - for hand-cultivation, since none of you monkeys possesses enough sense to breed cattle...or indeed any cattle, since they've undoubtedly all been wiped out by masses hordes sweeping over the nice, open Midwest. Hope you're good with a bellows and hammer...and at finding iron ore...and hand-planting. You'll learn a new hatred for mice, rats and crows as the endless, humourless years drag on, and wonder why in the hell we never eradicated all of the fucking things when we had the chance.

    But, enjoy your new post-zomboctalyptic world!

    (Say...did you think to get a tetanus shot?)
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2010
  12. Omega133 Aus der Dunkelheit Valued Senior Member

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    6,281
    1A) A military base.
    2A) A military base.

    2A) Abrahms(sic) Tank.
    2A) Car.

    3) We discover Solanum somewhere, and then it spreads. And then he attacks two friends, and they attack two friends, and they attack two friends, and so on.

    If your interested read: The Zombie Survival Guide. By Max Brooks.

    Or you could check out the thread I started regarding Zombies a while back.

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  13. Shogun Bleed White and Blue! Valued Senior Member

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    1.
    A) USS Gerald R. Ford
    B) The Ontario Regiment of the Royal Canadian Armored Corps

    2.
    A) Air Force One, or a SSBN , probably the latter. A SSN seems like a good alternative as well.
    B) SUV

    3. Virus
     
  14. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    22,087
    Oh, my bloody God.

    Shogun - are you an OntR? Do you wear the Shitting Cat of terror?
     
  15. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    33,264
    Well I've learned something new today, they can live in space as well. Then I guess that there's no where that's safe.
     
  16. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    33,264
    But that doesn't make them Zombies in the literal sense. Just because humans get overloaded with crap doesn't mean they will turn into shit!
     
  17. Shogun Bleed White and Blue! Valued Senior Member

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    7,635
    What is OntR? I live in Ontario yes if that is what you are asking.
     
  18. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

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    645
  19. Omega133 Aus der Dunkelheit Valued Senior Member

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    You misunderstood. Whether Zombies are alive or dead, a Zombie Survival Guide would still be effective. And plus I really wasn't talkng about Zombies themselves, I was reffering to the parts of the book where he talks about where to go, and prefferable methods of transportation.
     
  20. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

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    645
    ^_^ Yes, but was it not funny?
     
  21. Omega133 Aus der Dunkelheit Valued Senior Member

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    Possibly.
     
  22. domesticated om Interplanetary homesteader Valued Senior Member

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    I'm probably going to hang out with the rednecks and go zombie hunting.
     
  23. Stryder Keeper of "good" ideas. Valued Senior Member

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    13,101
    The simplest Zombie apocalypse is to take Schroedinger's Cat and extend the theory to the entire world.

    So there you go, have the world nuclear powers made zombies out of us already????


    Brainzzzzzz!!!!!!
     

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