In my experience women tend to project a lot. Men are very simple beasts, beer, TV, sex...what else is there?
Men can be very manipulative too especially when it comes to cheating. Scumbuckets come in both genders.
Yes. What I've been trying to do is point out that all of us are untrue and break our vows - even if we are not married but these vows were implicit when we started the relationship - at least some of the time. If we can have the guts to admit this, and see our own patterns of lovelessness and disrespect, we can understand better people who fuck up in other ways. This does not mean they cancel each other out or one justifies the other. and this is my other concern. There has been such a long tradition of viewing women as property and women as the instigators of sin - and the ones who are responsible to stopping it - since men 'can't' control themselves - that a lot of these rules around marital behavior end up being sexists. Jesus, after all, was stopping people from stoning to death a woman. Where was the guy? If we think in terms of rules and courts we end up de facto approving all sorts of shitty interpersonal relations including direct hate and denigration, as long as the haters and denigrators touch genitals only with the designated partner. If there has been adultery we can run around condemning the adulterers or we can come up with a process where people learn to do better next time. And I think this would include face to face emotional expression, that is where people are capable of doing this without violence. Most men do not want to show the full range of their reactions there - many women also, but I think women are more likely to show rage, sorrow, fear, the whole range of emotions. What the man will not express as the full range of emotions means that the other emotions slide into the anger and potential violence. And that shit has got to stop. They need to consider how that pattern contributes to secrets and sneaking around and is an example of this in and of itself. You want women to be direct and honest, well you damn well better be sure they can be without getting smacked in the face.
If that's the case, then why do a lot of women have a hard time keeping a man? Do women think they understand us a lot more than they actually do?
She had to admit it? The kid wasn't proof enough? I wonder how they found out the kid wasn't his. If your marriage is that bad and you wonder if the children your wife gives birth to are even yours, it can't come as a surprise. :shrug: I wonder if he will now sue for the price of the food she ate while pregnant, medical bills, diapers, formula, etc. So now instead of having people you know know about how your wife cheated on you, the whole world knows. Yeah, he got his revenge, but at what cost?
Was it the appeal of the cliche about 'crying all the way to the bank'? We say these things and think they are harmless and then wake up one day finding a proverb or cliche ripping our lives apart because we applied it.
Was that a sexual metaphor? I can't wait to have a beer after we have sex. Don't worry I'm wearing a sock, baby.
Rules about gambling, sex, alcohol, mostly have come from men. Sorry to disappoint you. The church, a male run organization, has been all over these things for a couple of thousand years. A cave woman would kick your ass.
I beg to differ with you on that. Women made all the good stuff illegal when they got the right to vote. Before that time, every town had all the vices any man could want. Now I agree they were aided by the churches. Have you heard of the temperance movement...headed by women.
mike, people change when they get married, i am not saying its ok, i am just saying i can understand why women and men cheat, you could have married the most gentle guy/woman and after the piece of paper is signed they could turn into a monster.
