Yoda vs. Gandalf

Discussion in 'SciFi & Fantasy' started by Xev, Sep 6, 2007.

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The Puppet vs The Beard

  1. Yoda

    54.5%
  2. Gandalf

    45.5%
  1. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

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    11,888
    Yoda wouldn't need to do that: swish swish, fight over.
     
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  3. Fettman #1 Bounty Hunter Registered Senior Member

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    A Balrog is a Deamon Magic trumps Tech all the time so while a lightsaber may cause it a little pain it would smash Yoda into green slim.
     
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  5. s0meguy Worship me or suffer eternally Valued Senior Member

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    lol yoda is from star wars and not star trek. Yoda would totally utterly pwn Gandalf

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  7. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

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    Pffft, in your dreams.
    "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" A. C. Clarke - no difference in the two.
     
  8. Fettman #1 Bounty Hunter Registered Senior Member

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    Yoda had power but Magic is still stronger.
     
  9. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    10,943
    Actually he broke the damn bridge which took Durin's Bane (thanks Mike!) with it, which dragged him down, then he FIGHTS the Balrog for about four days and nights, dies, his spirit LEAVES HIS BODY and Gandalf is SO BADASS that it returns after travelling through time.

    Just that is better than anything Yoda ever did.

    Sure, but who's idea was it to destroy the ring in the fires from which it was forged, huh? Gandalf!

    He brought the Eagles.

    "As the battle was turning fully against the Free Folk, a large force of Eagles of the Misty Mountains arrived, led by the Lord of the Eagles. Bilbo was the first to spot their entrance on the scene and began shouting that "the Eagles are coming!", a shout that was then continued among the other troops of the Free Folk."

    IIRC, the Eagles didn't really give a shit about human affairs in general, but Gandalf saved one's life and they became friends.

    No need:

    In 2845 Thráin II, King of Durin's folk in exile and holder of the last of the Seven Rings of the Dwarves, was imprisoned in Dol Guldur's dungeons. In 2850 Gandalf again entered Dol Guldur, finding the dying Thráin, and was entrusted with the map and key to give to Thorin Oakenshield, although Thráin could not tell him his own or his son's name before he died. Gandalf confirmed that Sauron was the master of Dol Guldur at that time.

    Gandalf returned to the White Council and urged an attack on Dol Guldur, but was overruled by Saruman, who had begun his own search for the One Ring in that area. In 2941, Saruman finally agreed to an attack, which occurred at the same time as the Quest of Erebor. This was carefully planned by Gandalf so that Sauron and Smaug could not assist each other, as they otherwise surely would have done. Sauron fled to Mordor, his plans now ready. Dol Guldur remained staffed by Khamûl, a lieutenant of Barad-dûr and second of the Nazgûl.


    Luke Skywalker was a puss who only survived because he begged his daddy not to kill him. Even Legolas could have taken him.

    What do you call it when your forces are defeated and you go off to live in a remote, inaccessable location where the victor can't find you?

    So did the Ents:

    "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) .... Saruman (extended edition)
    ... aka Herr der Ringe: Die Rückkehr des Königs, Der (Germany)
    ... aka The Return of the King (USA: short title)
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000489/ "

    Besides, Count Dooku? What the hell fight is that? His name is a kid's joke about poop!

    Hardly useful, though. He might irritate Gandalf to death, but Gandalf is going to be stoned off his ass on pipe-weed. The best Yoda can hope for is to distract Gandalf with some Doritos and Pink Floyd albums.
     
  10. superstring01 Moderator

    Messages:
    12,110
    What does Gandolf have that Yoda, with his wee little lightsabre, couldn't hack his way through and, ultimately, would protect him from a thorough ass-whooping at the hands of this master Jedi?

    ~String
     
  11. Wisdom_Seeker Speaker of my truth Valued Senior Member

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    2,184
    Here, I got proof:

    Gandalf:

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    Poor old Yoda:

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  12. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    3,631
    THAT is entirely speculative in a way that I disagree with and therefore I reject it!
     
  13. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,631

    From those pictures, I can see that that Balrog is one green blur of lightsaber awesomeness away from its death, clearly. Plus, apparently Gandalf is three feet tall...yoda sized, making him even less impressive. I never realized that before I had your pictures.
     
  14. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,888
    Bridges do break, he got lucky with the timing.

    which dragged him down, then he FIGHTS the Balrog for about four days and nights,[/quote]
    Fisherman's tale - it broke its own back on landing hard.

    Didn't Sheridan do that as well, I know Ivanova (Oooh, Ivanova -not a babe per se, but ballsy and all the best lines) did.

    Mere opinion.

    I've got a great idea for a novel - you write it and I'll take the credit.

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    Packet of Trill works wonders.

    Androckles did it with lions...

    So he advised and was over-ruled?
    Shit, I've done THAT.

    Agreed, elves are so girly they can only beat up Luke Skywalker.

    The better part of valour?

    Would YOU mess with an angry mobile oak tree?

    Diversionary tactic, naff name: lethal guy. (Everybody knows Chris lee doesn't play wusses).

    Doritos would work on me, provided there's enough salsa.
     
  15. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    10,943
    His staff. He's likely to just pick it up and swing Yoda around like a dog with a rope-toy.
     
  16. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    Umm, no. He broke the bridge with his staff, just like he'd break Yoda's bitch ass.

    If you depart from the LOTR books, I'll depart from the Star Wars movies and have Yoda be a transsexxual crippled frog. Play by the rules.

    No idea, didn't watch Bab 5. Starbuck did in the new BSG, and Starbuck is awesome.

    His strategy, his knowledge. What contributions to tactics did Yoda ever make?

    Or having covenents with GIANT FUCKING EAGLES.

    What cool alien races does Yoda know?
    Gungans and Ewoks. Q.E.D

    No, he persuaded them. Go back and read the Hobbit.

    And orcs.

    So he's a coward and probably a pedarast, given his unusual interest in "younglings"

    Probably not, I've seen Evil Dead.

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    Except Attack of the Revenge of the Clones was so bad that I deliberately induced a diabetic coma by eating Sour Patch Kids and drinking Pepsi until I passed out. So I really don't remember the movie.

    Here here.
     
  17. whitewolf asleep under the juniper bush Registered Senior Member

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    3,112
    Yea, with whom did Yoda chill? A princess with bagel-shaped antennae on her head?
     
  18. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

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    11,888
    I really want to agree with you, but IIRC Gandalf didn't actually do much in the way of magic at all in the books, whereas Yoda's got all this force stuff...

    You mean he's not?
    Okay.

    Shoulda - awesome.

    Trained a lot of Jedi?

    There is that.

    Bugger you didn't correct me on "Androckles" - I had the punch line ready.

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    Wookiees, humans, etc etc.

    but was overruled by Saruman
    6 years later they went with his previous advice, according to quote (nearer 40 years since I read The Hobbit).

    Which just goes to show what wusses orcs are as well.
    (Kidding - the portayal of Legalos was one of the things that made the films for me - elfs am kewl)

    We all have our little peccadilloes my sweet.

    I haven't.

    Missed it altogether - it came during my "out of work" period, and I haven't caught up yet...

    At last, unanimous agreement.

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  19. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

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    35,854
    And Sethra Lavode would kick the crap out of them both.

    In the meantime, the question remains: Why would Gandalf and Yoda fight?

    Remember that Obi Wan defeated Vader by not fighting.

    Yoda would win.
     
  20. Xev Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    10,943
    True. Yoda's bitches:
    A useless bint who done got herself molested by a FROG.
    A dipshit princess who supplied wisdom such as "I like water"

    Gandalf's bitches:
    A sorceress and military leader
    A shield-maiden who kills a Nazgul
     
  21. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    3,631
    I more view Gandalf as man who prefers to spend his time smoking weed with midgets. All Yoda has to do is explain The Force to Gandalf, blowing Gandalf's drug-addled mind, then it's LIGHTSABER TO THE GROIN!!!
     
  22. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

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    6,184
    wtf, there is no discussion... Gandalf killed a balrog... A FUCKING BALROG
     
  23. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    3,631

    You know why there were no balrogs in Star Wars? They were afraid of Yoda.
     

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