So let's say you're a slightly frustrated rank 2 theocracy placed nearly at the strategic juncture of three continents and your principal religio-political enemy is located about half a world away from you. You're quietly working on a couple dirty bombs for your other religio-political enemy, who is fortunately a lot closer. You've got the domestic vote sewn up - running a single candidate in each national election was probably a smart move - and your religious police are doing a swimming business cracking women's skulls and stomping on gay people. Still, while your ships are allegedly cruising off the US coast threatening to get Harpooned to death, the Great Satans can dish out loads more smack-down than you ever could in a month of Fridays and, let's face it, your co-religionist theocracies a little southward (ahem) hate your frigging guts, in a phrase. Things are tight. Sabres are rattling. What's your best considered move on the political stage? Yeah, that wasn't it. And why are they doing this? So a few things come to mind here: I don't know for sure that they're really doing this. Yet, it's been reported in a variety of places and, strange as it is, my very reluctant guess is that it's really happening. Let's proceed blithely. What's the point of this? Hey, America! See this ridiculous modified barge? Yeah? Well this is you! *missile strike* This is you! *missile strike* Yeah! You like that? Huh? Not really too impressive. It's a step up from the class geek making up a revenge list after the afternoon swirly: no one is really going to be impressed, including the Iranian people, which entail a fairly savvy and cynical component. Do they expect people to flip out and air guitar at the TV? Yeah, take that, overfabricated image of our enemy! Doubtful. Or is it meant for a really big propaganda objective, like trying to fake out the Shi'ite world into believing that Iran wasted an actual American carrier. If so, I'm kind of wondering: is there no cheaper way to do this that would impress the home audience? I have to believe that this is really for the Iranian people, assuming they would willingly buy into this. I really don't think this is intended for the Western audience, cause when the Yanks tally up their aircraft carriers and go "Nope, got 'em all", it's going to look a little stupid. I get that this is better than blowing up someone's clumsily-painted Airfix Nimitz in the Ayatollah's bathtub, but pricewise isn't this kind of overkill? I could almost believe that they were really going to use it in sort of a double-fake like Rick Moran in Spaceballs: Ha, stupid Amerikee! We're not going to blow it up! We're going to fly aircraft from it! Fooled you! That would almost make more sense than building a two-thirds size aircraft carrier, and blowing the shit out of it as a propaganda stunt. Surely the cost must be ludicrous? But they were building it right out in the open. So I have to call balls on that one too: say, Khammy, lil' tip for you here. When you build things right out in the open like that... well, look up in the sky. Can you see it? No? It's called a spy satellite, shithead, and what it does is, well, spy on you. That's right! It spies on you, and tells other people when you're doing bad things. Crazy, right? But then again, that's Iran.
Well if the reports are true, who's to say Iran isn't trying to show its people that they have aircraft carriers too? They should go all-in and make a mock space battleship with laser cannons, since virtually everything they do besides praying is just a cheap copy of things the Great Satan's culture dreamed up decades ago anyhow. If they're really planning to go to this much trouble to stage an aircraft carrier sinking, it's a more expensive way to get laughs from the world than hiring a comedian, but at least it would imply that our enemies are pretty mind-bogglingly gullible and stupid, so sink away! One less oversized fishing barge illegally hunting whales in the seas. The way I see it, I'm delighted any time Iran unveils another one of its top secret projects, I only wish they made more of a commitment to putting them into mass production; more expensive targets for Americans to practice on or hit for propaganda value in the event of a real war, millions or billions wasted that could have been spent oppressing their own people and hunting down infidels. If I were in charge of Iran, my top secret projects would almost entirely involve constructing coastal resorts stuffed with civilians, all featuring underground parking conveniently large enough to fit trucks with anti-ship missiles, and the remaining funds I'd spend building bunkers beneath schools and hospitals just like the terrorists Iran finances.
Well, apparently Iran is saying that this mockup carrier is being constructed for a movie set about the 1988 downing of an Iranian civilian aircraft by the USS Vincennes. http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4502482,00.html Who's directing this movie? Kevin Costner? I wonder what the budget is for this movie, and how many scenes they actually expect to film on this thing? Anyhow if it's all true, I wanna see this movie when it's released, just for curiosity's sake.
I want the Iranians to build the thing to work, then construct a time warp and take it back to 1941, like they did with a Nimitz carrier in that WWII movie.
I remember that one! Can't remember the title off the top of my head, but someone once told me about it, so I rented it one day when I spotted it while going through Blockbuster looking for obscure old sci-fi's and horrors. Yes, as an active American serviceman, it is the commander's sworn duty to tamper with history and put billions of lives and the entire modern world order at risk in order to save the lives of 3000, I could decide that over a cup of coffee any time. They should use this mockup for a second sequel to those two Hollywood movies about the Philadelphia Experiment. In Philadelphia Experiment III they could be Basij militiamen going back in time to rig an election that didn't go the way they were expecting.
