Write your own commandments

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Oxygen, May 16, 2007.

  1. SnakeLord snakeystew.com Valued Senior Member

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    Art comes in several forms: writing/photography etc and all have valid purpose. Without them there's very little of the world you'd actually get to see or know about.

    Sports: Any doctor will tell you the benefits of excercise.

    Celebs: Earning vast sums of money = a more comfortable existence. This is important for many reasons, (ask the tramp on the street corner).

    Bugs Bunny said "Uhh what's up doc?"

    What was your point?
     
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  3. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    I didn't say we are using common sense today. Something called religion is the Typhoid Mary of nonsense and unfortunately it has infected most of the world. I feel fortunate to have the proper immunities.
     
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  5. orcot Valued Senior Member

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    That's true I never denied that infact I insuid that it's important however you have to admit that the Mona Lisa makes verry little sence, yet it's most definitly worth a lot.

    Is that the sports you watch :bugeye: the ones that are actualy good for you. No offence but any sports that people bother to air are totally destructive to the body (Yes there are stuff like marathons but who bothers filming the people who do it right).

    ... that explains the handwritings and stuff

    Yes offcourse it is... and your immune... okay you might be right everybody has it's explenation blaming everybody it would seem the less people they blame it on the more extreme they are and everybody blames everyone excluding themselfs offcourse... There is some humanity in it's most literally sence in that I believe
     
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  7. ashpwner Registered Senior Member

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    thout hot women shall sleep with thy.
     
  8. SnakeLord snakeystew.com Valued Senior Member

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    I will certainly be the first to admit that (to my eyes) so much "art" is utter crap. Picasso can suck my butt for all I think of his work, and short of Da Vinci, I can't actually think of too many worthwhile artists, (Kandinski, Gogh - they're all crap), but my opinion is a personal one. From an objective perspective it has to be said that all of these artists have given a great deal to humanity in one way or another. Mona Lisa.. sure, it's crap - but that's a personal opinion that clearly does not mean much in the grand scheme of things.

    I'm a (genetically) lazy person who likes to drink and is probably the only guy you'll find in England that hates all sport so I can't give you much of an argument. Cricket is some real shit and no excuse. However, I'm sure any of those sports, even darts, beats me when it comes to excercise.

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  9. Starthane Xyzth returns occasionally... Valued Senior Member

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    How about:
    *Though shalt value all life, and destroy it only for the needs of survival...?

    This doesn't prohibit killing as such, just indiscriminate and unecessary killing.
     
  10. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    And people would justify murder as a menas of survival (Capital Punishment, War, Invasion etc) as they have always done.
     
  11. VitalOne Banned Banned

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    Jesus also encouraged tolerance of others...that passage you pointed out is often misinterpreted IMO....

    And John answered and said, "Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name; and we forbade him, because he followeth not with us".

    And Jesus said unto him, "Forbid him not: for he who is not against us is for us". (Luke 9:49-50)
     
  12. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    4,924
    1. The female is for mating purposes, let no man turn asunder this presumption

    2. Let all beings exist equally and those of lesser nature be more important

    3. Money is forbidden

    4. Flying is evil and accursed

    5. Let all men loose virginity by age 14

    6. Let those who seeketh harm to others be killed with no mercy

    7. There is no jail, only mass murder

    8. Let woman be covered in so much as men are comfortable with

    9. Let pediphiles be put unto a new island all their own

    10. Work shall be given freely with no requests but the betterment of mankind
     
  13. VitalOne Banned Banned

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    *Never lash out in anger against others
    *Never blame others for any problem
    *Realize that all problems exist only within you
    *Seek only within yourself for pleasure, happiness, etc...
    *Seek the destruction of the defiling impulses...
     
  14. Dark520 Rebuilt Registered Senior Member

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    We need common sense in the world so that people can actually spell 'sense' right...
     
  15. Starthane Xyzth returns occasionally... Valued Senior Member

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    Spelling is surely a matter of knowledge and practice, not common sense.
     
  16. Oxygen One Hissy Kitty Registered Senior Member

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    "It's a small mind that can only think of one way to spell a word." - Andrew Jackson
     
  17. IceAgeCivilizations Banned Banned

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    Great quote, thanks, he was a great president too.
     
  18. Nickelodeon Banned Banned

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    Is that true? A bit different from Bush's "your with us or against us".
     
  19. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

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    *************
    M*W: Yeah, he was great, alright. He commanded the Trail of Tears.
     
  20. Starthane Xyzth returns occasionally... Valued Senior Member

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    Definitely

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    What do you mean by "lesser nature?" Less intelligent? Less strong?

    No no NOOO!!! Human flight is a dream older than history, and we are fortunate to live in an age when it has, at last, become a reality - but it wouldn't be possible without money!

    Assuming they all want to...

    Several steps backward there. No thanks.

    Maybe the other way around as well?

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    A kind of paradise for the perverted? What would happen to any children born on that island..?

    (Or the betterment of the environment). Gene Roddenberry would agree with you there. Long live the voluntary sector! :bravo:
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2007
  21. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    George Carlin knocked this one out a looong time ago...

    Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

    You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

    About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

    Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

    Let's start with the first three:

    I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

    THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

    THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

    Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

    HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

    Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

    Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

    THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

    THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

    Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

    And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

    THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

    THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

    Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

    But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

    THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

    This one is just plain fuckin' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

    THOU SHALT NOT KILL

    Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

    Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

    &

    Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

    Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

    Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
     
  22. Starthane Xyzth returns occasionally... Valued Senior Member

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    Nietzschefan,

    I forwarded that Commandment-deconstruction essay to 12 people by email, yesterday. No feedback yet.
     

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