Woman Speak

Discussion in 'Linguistics' started by Orleander, Jul 2, 2007.

  1. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    I use 'Fine!', I say "Feel Free" instead of "Go Ahead" but its the same meaning, I have promised to quit saying "Whatever!" and I said #9 just this morning.
    He says something that either pisses me off or makes me laugh. If it pisses me off he says "You took it wrong" or "That's not what I meant" Bastard, it is too what he said and meant.


    1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
    right and you need to shut up.

    2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
    Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
    more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
    and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

    4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
    often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
    idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
    can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
    before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint.
    Just say you're welcome.

    8.) Whatever: Is a women's ! way of saying *%$# YOU!

    9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
    meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man
    asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
     
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  3. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    -If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    As for the rest of them; how about using some common sense and actually SAY what you mean instead of speaking womanese?
    -We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.


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  5. Captain Kremmen All aboard, me Hearties! Valued Senior Member

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    Nice Post. I thought it was really funny. It also works for computer technicians.

    1.) Fine: This is the word Computer Technicians use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    2.) Five Minutes: If Techie is fixing something, this means a half an hour.

    3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

    4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by Non techies. A loud sigh means theTechie thinks you are an idiot and wonders why he is wasting time standing there.

    6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a Computer Technician can make to a Non techi. That's okay means the Techie wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7.) Thanks: A Computer Technician is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

    8.) Whatever: Is a Computer Technicians's ! way of saying *%$# YOU!

    9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
    meaning this is something that a Computer Technician has told a Non-techi how to do several times, but is now doing it himself.
     
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  7. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    23,053
    And some of y'all wonder why and how the human race has so many conflicts and wars! ...LOL!

    Baron Max
     
  8. Athelwulf Rest in peace Kurt... Registered Senior Member

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    5,060
    And here you're talking about "Womanese" words that don't mean what they say in English. Should we take what men say exactly by its English face value, and at the same time take what women say exactly by how they really feel?

    Gay people must be very well off in this regard: Neither partner has to learn to speak another language just to talk to the other partner.
     
  9. superstring01 Moderator

    Messages:
    12,110
    One would [like to] think. But no.

    The very thing that separates men and women are the same things that separate men and men, and women and women. All human relationships involve a great deal of battling egos and being the same gender doesn't help it one micron.

    In the end, the most successful relationships are the ones where the couple are in a silent and unspoken conspiracy to let sleeping dogs lie and to avoid over-telling the things that are on their minds. Human nature tells us that when we get close enough to someone we can "let them see everything" and that's just not true. The human mind is such a clutter with annoying rejoinders and illogic that any attempt at flushing all of it out will end up making even the most perfect relationships become ceptic with time.

    Patience. Openness. Self -Control. Compassion. Trust.

    The pillars of a successful relationship-- No good relationship can do without any of them in equal quantities.

    ~String
     

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