will my future life be to my present aspirations like my coming of age[reaching 18] was to my childhood aspirations? when i was a kid i had great stuff in mind, i was ready to do them, and by ready i meant without a second thought...world changing things BIG HUGE stuff. but i thought it was mature to realize and accept the fact that because of my small body i will not be taken seriously by the grownups, even if i was serious about being prepared to do those things..they wouldn't really listen, and i understood their POV, because most kids were snots at that time, so no reason for them to think i was any different. 'but when i reach 18', i thought, 'i'll be legally a man, and when a grown up behind a desk objects to me and says:"you can't do that, that's impossible, and besides, you're a kid." i'd look him in they eyes and point at my chest and say: "you think i'm a kid? i'm 18 years old, i'm no longer a kid, i'm a man just like you.." and then i'd be able to do all the great stuff which i was restrained from for being nothing but "shorter than everybody else"... sigh... the time of reaching 18 was almost never part of the present..it was of the future for quite some long time..and now all of a sudden it's part of the past....and.... i'm no king of the world yet... i'm walking a new path now, one a bit more realistic and defined..it's not defined time wise like a calander, nor clear like a picture, but rather a figment of some sort, still mallebale and, well, it's like deciding on the brand but not choosing the model yet. but my epic question, which dawned upon me early this morning, was; is it a mirage? one i'll never reach? as much as my childhood "dreams" never happened within their time limit and i had to abandon them, and adopt new ones, bit differrent? will i change my goals 10 years from now and see that my aspirations have become getting married and having healthy kids and maintaing my job..like everyfudgingbody else??? will that be my goal one day? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! i've abandoned mine once, and am happy with my new one, which i'm promising myself i'll never deviate from. but will i change it later on, and be happy with that too, and think it's ok, and dismiss my current goals as..idk, some sensless dreams?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! are we destenied to keep betraying and trashing our old selves? is that how we turn to normal irrelative people? hamsters running in small wheels their whole life? i swear if i can see into the future, and see myself an everyday happy-go-lucky avarage joe with a desk job...i'll shoot myself right here and nowPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! i used to think some people are born ambitious, and they grow to be big, and some are born avarage, and grow to be so. but how big is the slice of people who are born ambitious, but have their goals degrade by time till they become avarage joes themselves? iow, right now, i plan not to have time for sciforms by, say, 7 years. i'd be around 27 then. many of you here are older than 27, and many of you are GREAT people, people with the potential to change the world, even partially. so folks, what went wrong?