Why you are an asshat, and I rule.

I'm trying to get a mental picture of what an asshat is. Apparently we're all asshats. (according to 15ofthe19.) Maybe he could enlighten me.

 

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I think it's the Third Lesson of Political Contortionism.

 

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15 your opener fits to a t eh?

 

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Furiously working on today's lesson from the Grand High Council of My Incredible Brain, so I will have to deal with your assertions in due time. For the moment, know that you have my blessing, and go forth and spread the good news that indeed, the Savior of Humanity is alive and well, and busy hashing out the most esoteric details of his latest, most spot-on piece of scripture to date.

More later...

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way... WAY too short.

if you really had any self worth, you'd have a lot more to say.

 

hehe, your funny Bells, first laugth of the day thanks

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At this time I think it's only prudent that I share my second lesson in what will become known as "The Undeniable Truth" as put forth by me, 15ofthe19, the lord and savior of Sciforums.

It has come to my attention that many of my subjects, not just here on Sciforums, but across this fruited plain, have unwittingly, or in some disturbing cases, wittingly come to believe that personal responsibility is no longer an essential ingredient in the make-up of a decent human being. The very idea that a person could find themselves in a bad situation as a result of the choices he/she made seems to cause great cognitive dissonance for many of my subjects. Were I mortal, I would find this realization quite perplexing, but thanks to my inherent infinite wisdom on all subjects, I view this growing trend with equal amounts of disappointment and compassion. It is this compassion that compells me to share my infinite wisdom with the mere mortals that inhabit my domain.

Lesson the first: If you believe that ordering a Diet Coke, with your Big Mac, Large Fry, and Apple Pie somehow offsets the fact that you are ingesting close to 100 grams of fat with each setting of said meal is somehow going to offset the potential negative effects on your body, you are a complete and total shitcock. And further, if you drag your lardass into some shyster attorneys office and implore him to file a class action lawsuit against Mickey D's on your behalf, because you displayed no self-control, and couldn't limit yourself to one cheeseburger once a week, and now you have deadly serious health concerns which you want to blame on Mc, you are the Lord Of The Shitcocks. You deserve to die a painfully slow death at the behest of heart disease, stroke, and whatever else results from over-indulgence in eating shitty food.

Lesson the second: This is the year 2004. The revelation that cigarettes are bad for you is at least 50 years old. With the exception of FR, Spyke and maybe a few others, there is not a person on this forum that can honestly plead "I didn't know" when it comes to the potential health hazards that go along with regular use of tobacco. So with that being said, if you are a big enough asshat to keep smoking in light of all of the warnings against said habit, you don't have any fucking right to complain to anybody about the heinous shit that is going to befall you if you continue the aforementioned behavior. You wanna smoke? FINE. But don't come crying to me when you're carrying an oxygen tank around with at Wal-Mart. You made the choice to keep smoking, and guess the fuck what? You've got emphysema or lung cancer now, and tough fucking shit for you. I'm as sympathetic to you as I am a guy who gets his jollies playing Russian roulette and BOOOM!, one night his number finally gets called. Tough luck loser. You don't like it? QUIT FUCKING SMOKING! It will save all of us a lot of money in the end.

In the meantime, the asshats in California that want to ban smoking on the beach need to get a grip. If I catch a whif of side-stream smoke, so the fuck what? How is that an assault on my civil rights? I smell the stench of the paper mill every time I make the drive down to Chattaboogie and pass through Calhoun. Should I sue Bowater for making me wrinkle up my nose? If I do, I damn sure better not use ANY paper around my house, or you know what, that would make me an asshat. I like cheap paper, hell I use a lot of paper. So I tolerate the smell, and go on my merry way. Wow, what a tough guy that makes me. I can actually tolerate something I find unpleasant because I can see the bigger picture. They should build a monument to me in downtown Knoxville. I'm a friggin hero.

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Lesson the third: YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING. REALLY, YOU DON'T! THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

With that little lesson out of the way, I would just like to point out a disturbing pattern of behavior on Sciforums. It goes a little something like this:

Posted by some asshat: I believe that chocolate ice cream is the best flavor of ice cream ever invented. Please prove me wrong.

Responses: You might be right, but studies have shown that in some areas Vanilla outsells Chocolate 2:1.

Asshat: Screw you. Your results are biased and what the hell do you know anyway!

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Responses: Ok, I thought you wanted people to respond with arguments of why Chocolate might not be the best ever invented. Don't take it personal. What was the point of your question anyway?

Asshat: Quit ad hom-ming me dammit. You're just bad people dammit. Leave me alone.**runs off to room, slams door, and loses self in Mortal Kombat for a few hours until mom says "go to bed"**

And so on and so forth....

Any of you with at least a few years of separation between you and your teenage years have certainly witnessed the above scenario.

Conclusion: Don't ask open ended questions on the internet and then turn around and get pissed when the answers contradict your preconceived notions. It just makes you look like an insufferable twit.

 

Thank you for proclaiming the obvious.

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You're welcome Ozy. Somebody's gotta do it. Might as well be me. After all, we've already established that I'm never wrong.

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What a ... a ...

... vibrant and interesting personality you have.

Now kindly remove yourself from the gene pool, you're muddying it up.

 

What an incredibly lazy response. I would have expected better from a self-proclaimed Buddhist.

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I never actually said I was Buddhist myself.

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You definately rule, and I am SO the asshat for ever having doubted that!

I think I might have been thinking there for a second. Sorry about that. I know I'm not qualified in comparison.

It's this ass on my head.

I'd take it off, but the smell is crippling.

 

(((((I shouldn't be writing this, actually, but my vanity propells me to it: I think 15ofthe19 is being subversive. Meta.
Khhhihi. By claiming things like "As far as I can tell, I am never wrong" and being "the lord and savior of Sciforums" -- he is saying, at least to me, that one shouldn't think that there is such a thing like "the lord and savior of Sciforums", and that by all means, we should not think that someone can never be wrong. A certain delicate/stinky phenomenon can sometimes be represented best by presenting what that phenomenon isn't. Good one, 15ofthe19. Ja, du hast IMMER recht.

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)))))

 

this thread is about how cool 15ofthe19 is....
but he has feathered hair.


just thought you should all know.

 

That's because you don't post in the Physics forum.

 

how about the next 1 that resurrects a thread that is more the 6 month old gets a 3 day ban, including a free 3 days bonus ban for complaining upon there return.