Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous

Discussion in 'Science & Society' started by KilljoyKlown, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    I suspect your stats are pretty close to the mark. I'm quite sure my first wife would have claimed it was mine had I not caught her cheating on me before she could get pregnant. She really wanted to get pregnant and it wasn't happening with me. All I can say is she didn't really push the issue with me very much and she never admitted to that as a reason. She did marry the man she was fooling with had one child a girl. She divorced him after 7 years and a few years after that tried to get back with me. So what am I to think?
     
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  3. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

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    The Long Decade, and Other Notes

    It depends on how you look at it. What he's referring to is the Long Decade, a period from 1945-1962, which some sociologists see as an important transitional point in the traditions of marriage. Indeed, when homophobes appeal to "traditional" marriage, they're referring to the Long Decade, not the longstanding traditions that started coming apart in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries when the purpose of marriage changed drastically.

    I recommend Stephanie Coontz's Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage (New York: Viking, 2005).

    Monogamy has often been subsumed under the rubric of "sex outside of marriage". But Western society's focus on sex outside of marriage, for centuries, looked primarily at women. Part of the reason for this was how society looked at women in general. Blackstone, in 1765, affirmed the English common-law principle in marriage, "the very being or legal existence of the woman is suspended" (qtd. in Coontz, 186). This principle carried on into the twentieth century, even in the United States. In England, this resulted in an 1889 court order that a woman owed her husband "restitution of conjugal rights". Comparatively, very few of the laws of religious or civil society focused on the men.

    True, one can argue that Savage's statement is certainly open to specific details and questions that might seem to contradict it, but thematically speaking, he is correct.
     
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  5. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    I take it you are referring to what used to be a flagrant double standard between men and women? In any event I can accept any relationships based on honesty and if the need to change a commitment comes up it should be handled before any new entanglements happen. I also believe this should be reflected in the law. Having said that I very much dislike cheaters on both sides of this conflict.

    But Savage is advocating making polygamy the legal norm. Maybe it should be okay for those that want it. But that shouldn't change anything for those that like their monogamist life styles the way they are now. I personally think there's room for many more type of relationships and when sex is taking place there should be laws to handle the problems that will surely come about.
     
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  7. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

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    UCK
    Dude, if I really believed that, I'd never go out of the house without a buck knife and the .38 special.

    That's disgusting.
     
  8. kira Valued Senior Member

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    We are discussing here monogamy as opposed to what, exactly? Polygamy, open relationship, or cheating?
     
  9. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    If you viewed the website and read the article and watched the video, you know as much as I do, but I suspect all of the above. If you have a peeve, please express yourself.
     
  10. kira Valued Senior Member

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    I am one for monogamy, as long as it works for both. If it doesn't work, I would prefer to separate and look for better suited partner.

    I am against polygamy, open relationship, and cheating.

    I prefer monogamy because to me a relationship is also an investment in which sometimes we have to sacrifice our own needs to get a good compromise for both. As for any investment (time, energy, etc.), everybody wish to have a long, solid, stable "business" which benefit all parties. Also, as minimum complication as possible. This is nearly impossible with all other cases.
     
  11. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    Well said, and I believe that to be the majority opinion. That doesn't mean I don't think others can't learn the hard way if they so choose.
     
  12. Bowser Life is Fatal. Valued Senior Member

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    I would be out of my comfort zone. I've been with my wife so long that any other woman would be too strange to enjoy. I think it is one think to have a look, and quite another to have a taste.
     
  13. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    Well. Frankly, STDs (STIs or whatever the fk they call that nasty shit nowadays) are the limiting factor.

    It's just bad health to fuck everything you like.
     
  14. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

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    but...but...

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    Cos' every woman wants coldsores on their cooter...
     
  15. billvon Valued Senior Member

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    There's a lot about us that's disgusting. Left to our own devices we'd poop on the floor and pee on the wall. Fortunately we learn at a very early age that that's usually not acceptable, and that you have to use a bathroom. Left to our own devices we'd eat what tasted best first. But we learn to leave dessert for last.

    Likewise, during puberty, men develop the urge to have sex with women. Expressing that urge without consideration for the other person is generally rape. Fortunately, by that age, most men have learned to have respect for other people and that violence is wrong.
     
  16. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    3,714
    My opinion is it's another reason women only want equality when it suits them. If it was mandatory to put a mans name on a birth certificate (after all men should have equal rights to their children, no?) then it should also be mandatory to have it confirmed by a DNA test and hold them accountable for their bastards. But then less women will be able to cheat successfully and trap men, so they will oppose it.
     
  17. SciWriter Valued Senior Member

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    About ten years ago I had seven love interests. I gravitated to one and am still with her.
     
  18. jmpet Valued Senior Member

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    Starting a thread that refutes something you disagree with only serves to shed light on something you disagree with which only asks: are you truly for or against it. And you're against it, why shed light on it?
     
  19. Anouk Registered Member

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    Well, polygamy can only work when both parties agree on the therms and conditions it brings with it. And in my believe it is openess and honesty.
    My parents are married for over 30 years and have an open relationship for at least 20 years. They are as happy as a monogamous relationship...meaning with ups and downs. More ups then downs, but there is a downside to any relationship, isn't there?
    I have seen it work between them because they are honest. If they meet someone, they'll tell. And that doesn't mean they don't love eachtoher anymore, on the contrary...it is just something they both need from time to time or even for a longer period.
    I think sometimes the boyfriends/girlfriends they go out with, are filling the gapps they find in their marriage. Filling it and not expecting sexual exclusivity, keeps them togheter.
    Seeing it doesn't mean I myself feel for this kind of relationship. But I see that it works.
     
  20. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    I know plenty of women that want sex and not the emotional commitment . They would fuck me in a parking lot after dinner " In there car too. So it is a little bit of a stereo type with the emotion thing . Individuals want different things . That would be like stuffing God in a box. Oh yeah mother Mary come to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be

    Anyway I know what you mean and I believe that is the way to be . Hells bells I would not want someone fucking Me if thy are not attracted . Pussy must be wet . It be like sand paper if it is not. I have to have an emotional investment my self before any fucking goes on . That is just Me though
     
  21. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    there is a lot of truth in that . I saw a study , Yeah , said women with multiple partners are at higher risk of getting cervical cancer . Don't know if it is true ?
    Probably , Except if you are of the conspirator type you might think it propaganda by the medical profession ! The real control freaks!!
     
  22. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    what do you mean by interest ? can you explain what that exactly means ? What ?
     
  23. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    HIV/AIDS is not scary to me, it seems to be very rare to get via Hetero contact. Particularly if your are not buggering people straight off the boat from Africa. Apologies to anyone offended by that simple truth...

    This scares me:

    http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm

    Fuck me, that is bad odds in my opinion. Since I've been back on the market, I fucking inspect the target before I bomb it like I'm the fucking CIA. Anything that even resembles a herpes sore and I fucking abort the mission completely lol...
     

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