Why Men Stop Having Sex

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by dixonmassey, Feb 27, 2009.

  1. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

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    Bob Berkowitz, Susan Yager-Berkowitz "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore: Why Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It"
    William Morrow | ISBN: 0061192031 | 256 pages

    Product Description:
    Men not interested in sex? Can this really be true? It is for the estimated 20 million American men and women who are in relationships in which the man has stopped being sexually intimate. This breakthrough book reveals the counterintuitive truth: Many men are just not up for it anymore. To find out why, bestselling author and relationship expert Dr. Bob Berkowitz and his wife, Susan Yager-Berkowitz, began an unprecedented survey of more than 4,000 men and women in this situation, gathering data and following up with hundreds of interviews with selected respondents.

    Why don't these men want to have sex? Is the problem physical, emotional, or psychological—or are these guys simply bored with their partners? Is it unexpressed anger about other aspects of their relationships? Are they depressed? Now that there is limitless access to pornography, are some men no longer able to be turned on without it? Are they becoming satiated? Do they have a fully functioning libido, just not for their wives? Or is decreased interest in sex just an unacknowledged but natural fact of life for a lot of men? Do they want their libidos back?

    Further, how do their partners feel about this? Are they dejected or relieved? Do they suspect infidelity, asexuality or homosexuality, or just blame themselves? What are they doing about it? What can they do?

    He's Just Not Up for It Anymore provides a unique window into the sexless man's mind—so that men and women can understand this important issue and begin to address the problems that have inhibited intimacy, and ultimately solve them.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    Any ideas? Too much porn, too much (half)naked women bodies everywhere, woman's anticipation of the regular movie like orgasms (=too much work, human progress is geared towards avoiding work), chemicals/environment (average sperm counts dropped 5 times in the past 100 years), biological (at the current rate of mutation - men no more in "mere" 100,000 years), social ((average) men lost their dominance in many areas, simple sexual servicing of women is just a subconscious reminder of the current lowly wage slave status)....
     
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  3. Naturelles Future Scientist Registered Senior Member

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    I stopped my self from getting attracted towards girls, look at whats more important, I have better things to do in life!

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  5. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    Did you read the book?

    I've often wondered why there are so many products aimed at the man's libido. The questions in the OP are all good ones.
    I'm 32, I've been in a relationship for a loooong time and like everyone go through periods of less interest. Lately I've been wondering. "Is this the beginning of the end?"

    While all the things mentioned are likely factors on some level, I've been entertaining the idea that biologically men are geared toward finding the most fertile (i.e.: younger) genetically superior (i.e.: smoke'n hot) women to mate with.

    As a believer, this is just another character flaw of the human condition that needs to be addressed, separated and stamped out to complete the transition and spiritual growth from the evolutionary ancestry of animals. As apes are the most commonly cited relative to man, my current condition suggests that there could be a solid link to swine as well.
     
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  7. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    Really?
    Please, explain.
     
  8. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

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    Biologically speaking, it's a female who does the looking for the best sperm material for her only egg, it's she who make the choice. In 99% of the cases, it's a dominant, alpha male (or his sperm) women are after. It doesn't matter what kind of woman less dominant males desire, they rarely will get a woman they want. If a marriage is not a threat, sexually healthy men can sleep (and father a child) with just about any woman, regardless how ugly, smoking or stupid she's. However, we are talking about regular sex with the same woman, it's this kind of sex apparently healthy men avoid.
     
  9. Naturelles Future Scientist Registered Senior Member

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    Nothing to explain about

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    I resisted the attraction, never got into any kind of relationship etc. and I look at whats important in MY life, I can't be bothered wasting my time on some stupid girl, I got much better work to do.
     
  10. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

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    No, I have not read the book yet, I have it, you could have it too, but moderator will delete the link

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    . The book title caught my eye since it's the first book title on this subject I've seen.
     
  11. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    That is amazing.





    *not all "girls" are stupid.

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  12. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

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    What's important in your life, if it's not a secret? You are not a gay, are you?
     
  13. Naturelles Future Scientist Registered Senior Member

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    ,
    Well, the girls over here are. And I have yet to meet a girl who has the same views as me.

    NO! I am NOT gay, and the more important things in my life are... many

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    at the moment, I don't feel like typing up an whole essay, if you really want to know, just PM me....
     
  14. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    I'll admit, I don't know about these studies. Though anecdotal, it's safe to say you and I both know more unfaithful or divorced men that end up with younger women. Which isn't the point, I'm sure.


    Also, I would say that many women aren't trying to be sexy after a few years with the same guy. Pehaps they feel that love should be blind.

    It reminds me of a joke.
    "At the county fair, a man and his wife stroll through the cattle barns. As they pass the bulls the women comments on the frequency of mating performed by each bull"
    "Look honey, this bull mated twice a week". *nudge
    "Oh my, this bull mated five times a week". * smacking his arm.
    "WOW! this bull mated twice a day. What do you think of that?" *punching him the arm.

    Irritated the man spouts off "NOT with the same OLD COW!"
    Reports say that the beatings were so bad, he's still in coma today.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
  15. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Poor communication skills

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  16. BenTheMan Dr. of Physics, Prof. of Love Valued Senior Member

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    I wouldn't say "healthy men avoid" sex in a relationship, because a lot of people enjoy a healthy sex life for a long time.

    But probably for a lot of men, it's the "thrill of the hunt"---the novelty of being able to actually get a girl to sleep with you never wears off for a lot of us.
     
  17. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    Could this also be applied to the OP?
    Do some men need the challenge in order to remain interested?
     
  18. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

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    Some men stop doing it with non challenging partners (in the sense of partners granting an easy access to a body) at the same time, the same men don't pursue more "challenging" women to get a thrill back. they just don't do it, one way or another.
     
  19. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    Stop completely? Kinda weird. MY only guess is they are completely fed up with all the bullshit that many women pile up beside the pussy nowadays.
     
  20. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    Whatever would you mean by that?

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  21. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    I thought It was a good analogy. lol

    You know I hear people describe their husbands and bitch about how little they get taken our or what not, I've heard younger women say they won't date people unless they drive a cool car, Wives that use the pussy as bargaining chip.

    Men maybe just say ahh fuck it. Men who are past the young man : "OMG i'm gonna fucking die if I don't cum every two hours" mode. I listen to some men lament their sex drives have gone down, I find it liberating to not have such strong physical urges like I did in my late teens early 20's.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
  22. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    Love is blind. But lust has better vision than a hawk.

    Maybe the men don't want to have sex anymore because they are tired of women thinking that they can retaliate physically to a verbal comment. I know I can't stand that.

    I'm the total opposite. I don't like the hunt. I like the catch. As short as my attention span is sometimes, if she plays hard to get, I'm going to lose interest.
    Now, I do like to be the one to choose who I date. I'm not the type that will just haphazardly make a blanket pass at every random attractive girl I see.

    I swear we were twins separated at birth. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking, and it's the exact reason why I am so damn selective about womens' behavior.
    Pussy is not worth the trouble you have to go through to get it. I can use the vast amounts of time and energy it takes to have a steady sex life, and channel it somewhere else...like mountain biking.l
     
  23. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Ahh yes, the elder years and our choices to have sex with...
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2009

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