Why I didnt' want a baby girl

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by mikenostic, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/30/o.why.didnt.want.girl/index.html

    Since I'm not a parent, I can't comment either way. But ladies/parents, is there any truth to this, or do you think cases like this are fairly isolated?
    While it's true I think I'd prefer a boy (father son bonding thing), I'd still care for and love a girl just the same (just as long as she liked the same sports I did...haha).

    I've heard raising a girl is much more involved and high maintenance than raising a little boy...from many parents. Is there any truth to this?

    Discuss..
     
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  3. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    I didn't want a girl either. If my daughter had been a boy, we would have had another child. But after her I stopped. No way in hell was I gonna risk having 2 daughters.

    My brother and his wife have 5 sons and no daughters. My SIL looks at my daughter with longing. I do the same with her boys.
     
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  5. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    To each his own, I guess. I think its much more fun to have a little girl in the family.
     
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  7. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    Haha. So there is some truth to it.
    Why didn't you want a girl? For the same reasons that the article author states?
    Wait, I thought you had two children?


    Hey, what's the latest and greatest on parents being able to choose the sex of their child? Is that a risky procedure or something?
     
  8. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    True but I kinda find it puzzling that a mother of all people wouldn't want a little girl instead of a boy.
     
  9. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Why did you not want a girl?

    I think girls can be more difficult, because they seem to have less of a pack social instinct than boys. Boys seem to submit to an alpha when they assert themselves, where girls have more of a 'my way or the highway' attitude, at least when younger.
     
  10. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Girls are more work. They are more intricate and more complex. Boys are easier. They are also easier to lead. My vast experience is based on interacting with other people's children, of course. But I have always liked girls.
     
  11. takandjive Killer Queen Registered Senior Member

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    I was honestly just sickened at the tone of the article. The author's no better than the nutty families who obsess over having a girl. OKAY. YOU'RE NOT GRATEFUL. WE GET IT.
    Because boys NEVER do any of that. I'm so sorry the author is having a healthy baby girl. Oh, what horrible woes the Fates have cast upon her!

    Look, I have my gender preferences, but I don't think it's vaguely okay to act this way, and to document it so your adult children can see it years later. If I have a boy when I have children, then you bet, "I always wanted a boy." If I have a girl, then you bet the reverse is said. If I have two, whatever I get is what I'm saying is exactly what I wanted. Because children deserve to be validated.
     
  12. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    A girl gets pregnant she's usually stuck with the child. A boy gets a girl pregnant, he mails her a check for 216 months.
    Every time my daughter goes somewhere we worry about her being raped. Yes, boys can be molested, but, you worry about it more with a daughter.
    My son can sleep with how ever many girls he wants at whatever age he wants (my husband started at 12). No big deal. If our daughter did the same she's perceived to be a whore, especially if she was 12.

    In so many ways, a daughter is harder.
     
  13. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    why? because she's a girl. A woman knows how much harder it is.
     
  14. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    agreed. You might as well write "I didn't want you" in their baby book

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  15. takandjive Killer Queen Registered Senior Member

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    I know! And it's not that I don't understand a preference. Like you, I feel more comfortable around little boys. There's a certain security there. With girls you have to teach how to claw your way to the top while remaining ladylike. That's hard, but worth it.
     
  16. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    So ladies, (and I'm going on what you all have said so spare me the flaming, I'm sick of it anyway)....if you ladies admit girls are more of a problem, then when you have them, why not raise them to not be fickle, high maintenance and difficult? You ladies admitted that yourselves.
    I've said I'd prefer a son, but it's not because I think girls are higher maintenance. I understand girls may (or may not) require more work, but it wouldn't be the reason that I wouldnt' want a girl.
     
  17. Bells Staff Member

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    The only thing that truly matters to me is that they are healthy and happy. Otherwise, meh. I'd have liked to have had a little girl, but I adore my two boys more than life itself and I would never wish either of them were not who they were.

    Girls can be more difficult as they enter puberty, but boys can be just as difficult, especially in their mid to late teens.

    As little children, it depends on each individual child. Some like cars, others like dolls and some like a balance of what would be classified as male or female toys. Personally I find the whole way in which children's toys are separated to be ludicrous. You give them toys that interest them, not what is meant to be for a girl or a boy. We always made sure our boys had the full array of what would be deemed girls toys and boys toys. They have dolls and cars. Granted, they use the dolls for roads to drive their cars on:bawl:, but sometimes they do play with the dolls as well.

    I just find the whole thing of wanting to have a particular sex of child to be a tad strange in my opinion. Sure, it would be nice to have at least one of each, but really, all that should matter is that they are healthy and happy as they grow up. I had a friend, many years ago, who sobbed like a baby when she found out her first child would be a girl. She literally cried throughout the pregnancy and for the first 6 months of her daughter's life. Because she so wanted a boy. I find that weird, personally. The result was that she missed out and didn't get to enjoy a lot of her daughter's first milestones, because she was too busy resenting her for being a girl. Thankfully the father didn't care what sex it was and he made sure to capture everything he could. The little girl is grown up now and has a very difficult relationship with her mother, probably because her mother never really wanted her and made sure to tell her she wished she'd been a boy throughout her childhood. And she is what many would consider to be the perfect child. She was always well behaved, had beautiful manners growing up, did very well in school, never did the whole must club till I drop thing in her teens. Her mother never really appreciated that. That kind of attitude is pathetic if you ask me.
     
  18. Bells Staff Member

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    So because you were raised to be fickle and high maintenance, you are attributing that to how mothers raise their daughters? Tsk tsk.

    Actually, most people would agree that father's tend to have a better relationship with their daughters and mother's with their son's. I always got along better with my father than my mother.
     
  19. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    Kinda more or less what I was thinking. Common sense.

    I had dolls when I was a toddler (not the barbies but the 2 feet tall, almost displayable dolls), but I also had fire trucks and tonka dump trucks and toy guns. I agree with you verbatim on the toy segregation.
     
  20. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    Until you get a pre-med degree and a psychiatry degree, spare me the attempt at judging my character, thank you. :bugeye:

    When I did get along with both my parents, I had a better relationship with my father and wanted to live with him far more than I did my mom.
     
  21. Bells Staff Member

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    Ours have Raggedy Anne dolls and a few like that. And a couple of dolls that were from my childhood. Barbie dolls... I might have had one or two, but I remember cutting their hair off and painting them blue and getting into trouble for it when I was about 10 or so.

    The current flavour of the month with our eldest with the dolls is that he takes them and makes them sit on his little brother's head and makes farting noises.:bawl: Which results in "no no no" from the 2 year old. *Sigh* my children are feral.
     
  22. Tyler Registered Senior Member

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    I think the boys-are-easier-to-lead thing is somewhat cultural. In China the daughters are much, much easier to control and much less troublesome. Of course, they are also used to being fully controlled by their parents, in a way that boys aren't. The culture here prizes sons above everything else in life (except maybe wealth), so as children boys are treated with a sort of deferential respect that largely spoils them and keeps them very young.

    If I were Chinese I'd prefer a girl. They cause much less of a headache.
     
  23. takandjive Killer Queen Registered Senior Member

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    It's more about society being a pain in the ass than girls. From bits Orly and I have exchanged, I don't think she's raising a princess, by any means.

    If I *had* to pick, although I think girls are more of a challenge, I might just pick a girl because I have some things I'd like to pass on, and having a niece, a little girl would have more stuff.
     

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