It's a process. If she went to a shrink she wouldn't change overnight. I believe church helps her because over the last 2 years of going to this new church that is not so evangelical (ie it is not "you're going to hell" type a church), I've seen changes in her that are good. Things that will make her be self sufficient. But, other things she sees in herself she says she wants to change but stress gets in the way. Going to church reminds her again to keep focused on living better. She is the type that learns from the community (ie wide-spread affirmation of right living). They sing, show videos about the subject, give a lesson, and show more videos on the subject. The multimedia experience is more effective than someone to talk to. The experience leaves a lasting impression that is good for about a week. The goal is to keep doing the right thing and eventually do it without thinking it. There are more direct routes, but it is working for her. I do not condone going to church lightly though. It is at your own risk. Blind faith is dangerous. Abraham is my case and point. He would've killed his innocent son, Isaac, at the whim of his god without any hesitation had God not stopped him. How in the world do we excuse that act of Abraham? It sounds like attempted murder, but more heinous because of the innocence of the victim. What's more sick, is Christians say that God approved of this behavior as an act of faith! There are times when I wonder if things went south, would my wife come home and murder me if she saw me as a threat to her god?