When your family of origin sucks

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by wegs, Dec 9, 2019.

  1. wegs Matter & Pixie Dust Valued Senior Member

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    I’ve used the word “hate” before when it comes to behaviors that are abhorrent like arrogance, sexism, misogyny, etc.

    It’s not a bad thing to “hate” misogyny or racism for example. But I don’t believe I’ve ever hated a person. We’re all broken and even the most seemingly horrible human being, has a backstory that led him/her there. Not that we should excuse bad behaviors but hating won’t help the situation.
     
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  3. Seattle Valued Senior Member

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    That's my approach as well. I never hate people and even when I start to use the word in a less "harmful" way, as you suggest...hating racism...I still usually self-edit and change it to "don't like" just because the concept itself is self-harming (is harmful to the subject as well as to the object).

    It's similar to anger. It is usually more harmful to you than to the person you are angry with.
     
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  5. geordief Valued Senior Member

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    I think hate implies loss of control and an excess of self or communal regard.

    I try to steer clear but it is easier said than done ( "there but for fortune go you or I" )

    Do we try to see the humanity in humanities most depraved examples?

    When children use the word hate it means something different from an adult's considered expression.
     
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  7. Seattle Valued Senior Member

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    Sure, it means dislike as in, I hate vegetables.

    I tend to thing of hate in the same way that I think of "evil". It just shouldn't be a thing.
     
  8. wegs Matter & Pixie Dust Valued Senior Member

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    Also, I think it’s often used in a nonchalant, sarcastic way “Ugh, I’m hating life right now,” some of my friends randomly say when their day doesn’t go as planned. No one really believes that they hate their lives. Our usage of slang can change the harshness of certain words.
     
  9. geordief Valued Senior Member

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    Yes ,vegetables could be pertinent.It is along the lines of "get out of my body" and can develop into a kind of ostracism where we deny the object of our attention any bona fides at all (and no way back)

    I remember Gordon Wilson and how he was able to ..well I can't understand what he did or how he did it.
     
  10. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    Young children have a limited vocabulary; they use only general words without nuance or finesse. They use language as a blunt instrument, to express emotion. For feelings of frustration when thwarted in some desire, they have recourse to 'I'm mad at you' or the only possible escalation: "I hate you!" They have no clue what hate is; they have no inkling of the possible range of reactions and attitudes toward things, nor of the possible duration of complex states of mind.
    Their concerns are immediate and pragmatic. They feel suddenly, strongly, and for short periods.
    They are also powerless; frequently overlooked and unheeded, so they can't afford to waste any communication with an adult: have to make their point fast and clear.
    "I hate vegetables" most often means "I do not want to eat this vegetable at this time."
     
  11. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    words dont mean anything so i do not have to be accountable for my actions
     

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