Yes, he doesn't rake. I do He doesn't fold laundry. I do He does not strip beds. I do He refuses to plan weekend activities or vacations, but he also refuses to stay at home, so I better have a plan I also make his lunch for work and make sure his coffee is ready in the morning. Like I said, Its not as clear cut as us doing everything the other one does.
@ Mike, I agree about using hints instead of being direct...I hate when anyone does this, it drives me 8 shades of insane. Especially having mild ASD, I could read entrails easier than people and their god damn social undercurrents. It's not an exclusively female trait though, it's an asshole trait, some men do this too. They assume that since I'm a female I can read their mind, and don't come out with things. Orly, that is just plain weird, why do you refuse to shovel snow or carry stuff?
haha. Well Sam, you and VI have had more than a year to see that I'm quite forthright; sometimes a bit too forthright. Haha. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Like I'm the type, if a woman asks me if she looks fat in something, if she does, I will say yes.
Worst thing though is when they randomly go through periods of ignoring you. I have no idea why they do that. Maybe they think the relationship if purely on their terms and they have the right to take it and leave it as they wish. Human beings in general are sucky.
I like guys who say what they think. Nothing beats a man [or woman] who are frank about their convictions. Even if I disagree with what they say, I can respect that about them. Strangely enough being ignored doesn't bother me. Its because I tend to switch off myself quite frequently, when I have a sensory overload and its calming for me to be by myself. I can't tolerate active socialisation on a large scale, I need a lot of Me Time.
I'm wired the opposite way. I love socializing, I'm one of those people who get high off being part of a group. I can't take being ignored.
I won't ignore them, but if I'm pissed off about something, and especially if she's the reason I'm livid, I don't want to talk to them. Not so much because of them per se, but because when I'm fuming, I would rather be by myself and cool down a bit. I think if someone started ignoring me in a relationship, they'd have one 'freebie' instance of that. The next time they did it, they would be gone. Like I said, I do NOT tolerate bad behavior.
I understand that. I don't see that as ignoring, people should calm down before they talk things out. If you try and solve something while still angry things go nowhere, because emotions are running high. Better to go for a walk. I hate when someone wants to talk things through straight away. It's usually them using words adeptly like machinegun fire while I'm trying to control my fight or flight mechanism, and too fucked up to do anything except clench my fists.
because its cold and heavy stuff. I grew up on a farm and I am never ever ever doing that kind of manual labour again. EVER! If its not fun, I'm not doing it. I'm a grown up and I don't have to. I have a job and I can pay someone.
see, I like to pretend that I'm dating a person with a brain of their own, emotions, passions, character, foibles, etc. Not a robot.
Being honest is really good. If I am with someone, it's because I trust and respect them. And if that person thinks something makes me look fat, then I do respect that. My husband reminds me when I have gained a few pounds, and I just know it's time to add another day to my workout routine and watch what I eat a little more carefully. He's not being mean, he just wants me to live longer and healthier. I respect and even admire that. He also tells me when I am being too harsh, or too pragmatic. He's a good system check for me, and I am for him. No egos involved, just two people who look out for one another.
In what way does he remind you when you have gained a few pounds? And when he has done that before, is he himself in fairly decent shape? As long as I stay in shape, I expect my partner to do the same. And as long as I'm physically mobile to exercise to keep in shape, I will. Now in the remote chance that I become a fat, greasy, bloated, 8 Twinkie eating slob, I will not say a damn thing to my S.O. if she starts gaining weight.
He'll just mention that I'm not watching what I am eating, or suggest that we go out and do something together to help me get more active. Sometimes he'll just poke me in the side and wink. Other times he'll straight out tell me that I've gained a few pounds and my clothes aren't fitting right. But we are honest enough with each other to know that the intention is not to have a perfect wife, but to have this wife as long as he can through healthy living. I do the same thing to him. He's put on a few pounds lately, but is usually fairly fit. He's 6'4" 220 lbs right now because it's the end of the winter and he's not doing much manual work lately. He could stand to lose a few pounds, and when he gains weight I remind him not to wear a tight shirt or he'll accentuate the man boobs he's growing. A few years ago, he gained a lot of weight and was sitting at 250... so I offered him my bra. We are both pretty whimsical people who are extremely sarcastic with each other in a playful way. We are not hurting each others feelings. Some people don't like their flaws pointed out, but I really don't mind at all. I like constructive criticism because it makes me a better person all around if it's coming from a good source. We are very honest with each other about all the things in our lives, because we are equal partners in everything and there is nothing I do that he can't, or nothing he does that I can't. That way, we don't have to argue about who is doing or not doing their chores or whatever. If something needs to be done, it gets done because anyone can do it. Sometimes we get lazy and things don't get done for a few days but then we both realize it and crank up the music on the iPod and kick the house into shape. It's just the way things are. Though I think he avoids washing the car because he'd rather see me out there washing it. Preferably if I'm wearing a light coloured t-shirt. He also doesn't touch my garden, but it's my little slice of life not because he couldn't do it.
Any woman who will bust on their husband with a statement like that, is a keeper. That's funny as hell. That's exactly the mentality I like in the women I date. I love banter. I love busting chops, and I love it when someone wittily fires back. Kinda like a den or a mancave would be HIS slice of life, huh?
I presume she has permission to get bigger while pregnant. How long does she have after the baby is born to get back into the shape you require? (I know it took me a heck of a lot longer than most of the Hollywood moms.)
My husband has one of those. He calls it his mancave as well. I call it "I hate my wife" room. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Yep. He's welcome to do with the basement what he wants other than a small piece of it where I will be putting in a throwing wheel, a worktable and a mill for my ceramics. I think he's planning a game room/wet bar thing and a safe room. We give each other a lot of space and freedom because we like different things. I encourage him to do whatever he wants with his mancave. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Like his truck, I don't tell him what to do with it or when to clean it, or where to park it. He doesn't touch my car either.
