What Constitutes Chronic Depression

impotence??
or perhaps depression is a result of impotence

 

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Picture spending a good 5 hours in your bed every single night for a few months on end staring at the ceiling thinking about every single aspect of your life. And as you run out of thoughts that interest you you realize there's still a good 3 hours left of doing this and you think the same thoughts every night. Basically, you have to cope with reality twice. During the day you have to cope with everything like normal, then during night you have to relive the coping all over.

When it's day time for me I would walk through in a complete daze. It takes a few callings of my name to get my attention. And the memory is all fucked up. Know when you walk in a room and forget what you went in their for? That happens a good 3 or 4 times a day minimum. You can't really process thoughts, but you can't sleep even if you try.

Waking up, I think, was the worst part. Every single fucking night it would be shutting your eyes and feel like one minute before you woke up and realized you had to put in the effort necessary to live another day.

 

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manic depression

Manic depressives, or bi-polar sufferers have EXTREMES of highs and lows.. nothing in between.. and are usually very creative people in the manic (high) phase. The drug lithium is used to stabilise the moods.

It is not the same as chronic depression..

hope this helps

 

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I used to have that. I'd be suicidal in the morning, and at night it'd feel like I was on MDMA! Thankfully, after 7 years of that, I've "stabalized"

 

trying to decide if its a real issue or a created problem. throw in all the comments about side affects after taking the little blue happy pills and now I'm thinking get on with life and quit sulking. its only been 3 weeks and the saddnes comes and goes but with major bursts of tears. Now I've also started anxiety attacks about a day or two before the therapy visit. Never liked drugs and am struggling with the idea that i'm on them. Of course plenty of "friends" suggested at times: maybe you should take something for your moodiness. recently and the attention grabber was the severe week of crying and thoughts of suicide that sent me to the therapist. Ugh! is anyone else out there who knows this? I've never thought I had my act together but I could put on a pretty good show. But lately before the meds I felt completely sad. Some good days of late and there is definite talk of major changes in thinking so maybe it is mind over matter. are the pills necesary or even helpful? Scarry. any ideas?

 

Why not try the medication for a few months, just to get you on the right track, and then slowly stop taking the medication, but try to keep the new state of mind!

 

what does therapy for depression do? lets pretend that drugs are out of the question, the person in question has serious trust issues with people that they don't know (in otherwords just "talking about it" isn't going to help), the problem is real and persistant, and they are becoming less and less able to deal with the real world. what can a therapist do for the situation?

 

A therapist can be nothing more than a high priced fake friend ...some are even honest enough to admit this . The SSRI's have major risks assocciated with them , actual benefits are derived not from these pills , but from the therapist - patient relationship . This shouldn't be a suprise to people with healthy friendships and an active family life .

"Approximately 80% of the response to medication was duplicated in placebo control groups..."

http://journals.apa.org/prevention/volume5/pre0050023a.html


edit : clarification

 

so basically, what do you do if you have good friends, don't want drugs, and are still depressed?
i guess you're just screwed then.

 

freefall , I used words such as some are and can be . Just be carefull , there are alot of quacks out there . Education is the best tool at your disposal .

 

Thanks. for responding. Didn't give me any clearer picture then the one i already had . But ultimatly my life my choice. Right on with the trust issue and family friend thing. taking on responsibility for ones own choices and actions can be tough especially when one chooses to do them alone. But accepting that is a move in the right direction. Demo- wrote on another thread about orbiting. hopefully, the fake friend ( i wasn't offended, just liked the phrase) will get me going in the right direction. A lot of issues, so a lot of time needed but it helps to know i'm not alone even when I try to be.

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woot! I topic I can really talk about from expirience!

I was born with two learning diabilities and "Inherited Clinical Chronic Depression" (other members of my family have been diagnosed, and three cousins, an uncle, a great aunt, my grandmother, and my sister had all commited or attempted suicide at some point). This was not diagnosed when I was born, of course, but considering I had attempted suicide 3 times by the age of 6, most people knew that something was wrong. luckily for me, being six made it had to obtain firearms, and jumping out a window is hard when the window is too heavy to open.

Chronic (persistant) depression (feelings od depression and sadness). Basically, I would wake up to my Mom singing "it's a bueatiful morning", I'd feel sick, dizzy and nauseuas, and want to punch her for being so stupid and annoying. It wasn't a wonderful day! The sun was up- I might get a sun burn. It wasn't going to rain, so we would have to go outside for gym which meant team sports. that meant more chances to screw up, and more fodder for being beaten up by bullies after school. between gym screw-ups and afterschool would be class after class of being yelled at by teachers and bored out of my mind. (This is where you start moving out of 'common adolecent frustration' and into 'depression'). Then because the teachers are yelling at you for not doing your homework....oh, sh*t! I forgot to do my math homework last night, I need to get my homework done! oh, f*ck, oh, f*ck....crap, where the hell is my backpack- I have 15 minutes until the bus is here- I need to get dressed (dress quickly), run downstairs. "mom have you seen my bag? I forgot to do my Math, I need..." "YOU DIDN"T DO YOUR MATH!!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU....WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? TODAY IS PICTURE DAY, GO GET CHANGED! YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES, HURRY UP!" f*ck I forgot my homework, I'm going to get detention and have to stay after class, then My english teature will yell at me- I'm going to and up having to stay late after every class, and then I'm goign to miss my bus coming home after a day of getting yelled at and beat up. I don't have my lunch money from mom, and she's already yelling, Where are my shoes? f*ckf*ckf*ck, with the hell do they want from me??!!? stupid pictures, What was I doing?? crap!! why am I back in my room? What was I supposed to do? I was looking for my back pack, then went downstairs, Mom yelled at me instead of helping me find my backpack...I wonder if I even remembered to bring my Math book home with me? sh*t I don't think I did! I can't even do my Math homework on the bus, then? there's no way I can get it done. oh, shit (start crying here) "YOU'RE OUT OF TIME!! THE BUS IS HERE! ARE YOU CHANGED?! LET'S GO!" f*ck! I was getting changed! That's what I was supposed to do! Where are my church clothes? I'll wear them. where the hell are they? they're not in my drawer!! oh, sh*t I'm gonna get it "LET'S GO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE, THE BUS IS ABOUT TO LEAVE!" finnaly right about here, I start losing it "I don't f'inf know, ok??!! where the hell are my church clothes??!!""YOU'RE STILL NOT CHANGED??!! DAMNIT!" she comes up stairs "DON'T YOU CURSE IN MY HOUSE! YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR THE NEXT 5 DAYS YOUNG MAN!" Grounded, What The Hell did I do??! I was trying to get ready like she asked....wait, I can't be grounded this week, I've got a gymnastics meat on saturday. f*ck, what the hell am I supposted to do now!! f*ck. I have to go this weekend, it's against Hanover, they alway beat me, this may be the last chance I have to beat that one big kid they have on their team! no, I can't wiss it? sh*tsh*t
Mom goes into my closet and thows some clothes at me, the looks out the window. "YOU'VE MISSED THE BUS *AGAIN*! I"LL DRIVE YOU, BUT YOUHAVE TO BE READY IN 4 MINTUES, OR ELSE YOU'RE WALKING." "have you seen my backpack?" "YOU STILL HAVEN'T FOUND YOUR BACKPACK? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING UP HERE THIS WHOLE TIME??? I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU.""I coun't find it" "FINE, YOU JUST GET DRESSED." sits and thinks about how sh*tty this day is so far, and it's only 6:25 AM, I feel sick to my stomach, still have a headache from waking up, I'm not dressed, I have 4 minutes, now 3.5 minutes, really to get dressed, get my backpack and get in the car. No breakfast, and the listen to my mom yelling the whole way to school. and I'll be late to get there, of course, so I'll be sent to the principal's office, which my mom will be told about, so I'll be grounded even longer than 5 days. I'm going to have to do team sports today, and every period will be total boring sh*t, and I'll get yelled at for falling asleep, cause I'm tired from having to get up this early, and I'm going to get beat up after school, I can feel it, I just know it
Mom walk in w/ back pack- "IT WAS UNDER THE DINNING ROOM TABLE...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING JUST SITTING THERE!! WE HAVE TO MOVE, COME ON!!" mom the forcfully dresses me while I give up on life, and just go limp, which, of course makes her even more angry.

The high point of my week is while at the gymnastics meet (which my mom of course allowed me to go to), I succeed in getting a 9.7 on the floor exersize. Not bad, I've done better, I didn't keep my legs straight in that one front handspring. Damnit, what was I thinking??!!! I know better than that! I practiserd it all week! sh*t, I suck, what the hell is wrong with me? Oh, crap! That big kid from central PA just got a 9.8, so the best I can do is 2nd, I wonder if my mom is going to be pissed? Why do I even do this stupid sport! I suck at it! I can't even do the things I know how to do right, how the hell am I supposed to move on to level 4 next year? I am going to be the worst person in the group, and just simply look stupid in front of everyone. crap crap crap.
I then sleep the whole way home, so I don't have to think about if I should even continue doing gymnstics, considering I'm not going to get any better then I am now. shut up shut up! Just sleep. Sleep is nightmares, but at least nightmares aren't life. and they sometimes turn out good. I wonder what it would feel like to just open the door to the car and fall out. If I land head first, maybe it won't hurt all. It'd sure be better than putting up with all this crap. "No, I do not want to go to McDonalds! Leave me alone!" stupid pain in the a$$ mother, I've been vegitarian for 3 years. how the hell does she not know that? doesn't she even pay attention? she yells at me for not knowing where my backpack is, and grounds me, but she doesn't even know that I don't eat dead cow. just like her. f*ing dead cow. f*ing b*tch, I'm going to kick her dumb a$$, f*ck it. I don't care I DON'T F*ING CARE!!! F*CKKKK! where's the door handle?




now, this is what every day of every year is like for about 15 years. That is chronic depression. No matter what the situation is, the world is painful and crappy, and no one else seems to care. there are children dying slowly of hunger across the planet, but I'm forced to eat food I don't want! I'm sure that some starving kid will sleep better at night because I ate my brussel sprouts, then successfully threw them up, cause I TOLD YOU THEY MAKE ME GAG!! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAA!


it's like you're in a state of perpetual frustration with the world, and can't see beyond that. You focus on the possible negative outcomes, wether you want to or not; if you try to be happy, really try- force a smile and bear the situation, all you end up with is the question "are all the people faking happy too? cause if so, then why are we all pretending? If they are really happy, then why aren't I? I don't find this funny. I don't find this fun. I want to go sit under neith a tree and zone out from the world." Sleeping is not only a mental escape, but a physical demand. you are so stressed about everything you could possibly be stressed about that you can never really sleep. so you are always tired, always wanting more sleep, and never really getting it.
You get set aside by teachers, parents, and kids as "weird", and this simply proves to you that you are not normal. why try and succeed? you only screw it up and get yelled at.

So life beasically boils down to "try and fail" or "Don't try, and fail" You fail either way, so why try? Why not goof off, ditch school, smoke pot, cut yourself with a knife to make sure pain still feels the same, or kill yourself. life sucks.



The sadest part about all of this is that it's so easy to break out of this cycle once you know how. but until you know the path, it's imposisble. I found that medication was not a way to live, but I was able to use it to see how things *could* work. If I forgot my homework, so what? I'd do as much as possible, and if I got detention, so what? It gave me a quiet place to read. If the bullies were going to beat me up, so what? I was smarter than they were, I could easily find a way home which they did n't know about; or I could trick them into hitting me which a teacher was watching, and get them suspended, at the price of a bloody nose. Once I had the confidence to solve problems myself, and the wherewithall to know that my perminant record, what my mother thought, and how crappy my math score was were just missteps along the road- not failed goals in of themselves, things got easier. then I could do the homework, I could study for the test; I could pass the class, and not get suspended along the way, so I didn't have to worry about it anymore. Because I didn't feel like I had to worry as much, I didn't worry as much, wich gave me time to actually do the work, so It got done, and I began succeeding.

After almost failing kindergarden and first grade, have never passed spelling test my entire time in public school, I managed to study my ass off for the SAT's- using my own method based on how my brain worked- screw all the dumb ass teachers who thought they knew how to teach me- I learned nothing from them. so screw them- I'll teach myself. I got a high enough score to get into college, and I made a descition.

There was no way I was relying on drugs the rest of my life. No more tofranil, no more Zoloft, no more ritaline or welbutrin. If I couldn't live on my own abilities, was it really worth living the life of a normal American? I knew how to camp, I enjoyed the outdoors, If I failed out of school, I'd just drop everything, and move to the woods. I had no fear of doing it. Therefore, I had no fear.

So I went to school, told no one there of my learning disabilities, cut off all social ties, and simply studied, wrote, painted, I was a complete recluse, doing only what I wanted to do, and doing only what I needed to do to pass my classes. and crew, because rowing rocks. and I passed my first semester with all B's. I then passed the next smester. then the next. I have not taken any medication for about 7 years now. I own a house, have a dog and a steady job. a few good friends, and that's it. and I'm simple, and content with that.

Chronic depression is something where you see the world though glasses tainted the color of blood- even if you want to be happy, you can't; the world around you looks painfull and sad- and there is no way to change it. A butterfly isn't a butterfly, it's a thing just waiting to suffer huge pain as it died- eaten by a bird or burt by a flame or crushed under a car tire. A flower isn't pretty, it's a plant's deperate attempt to survive it's own death.

I know now that my mom wasn't always yelling at me; and even when she was, it was because she couldn't understand why I wasn't taking the gifts she was giving to me and using them to better myself. I didn't use them because I couldn't see them. I didn't even realise the gifts (gymnastics, medication, forced social events) were there! And she couldn't realise that I didn't see them.

Medication can help. It helped me. It helped me learn how my brain worked, how I had to learn. Once I knew that, I could teach myself how to live. No one else could do that job; I didn't know how to let them. And the chemical imbalance in my brain wouldn't let me learn how to let them.


That plus four things: boy scouts, gymnastics, martial arts, and crew. physical activities that didn't always make me happy, but which taught me things other people didn't know. Having knowledge over other people gave me a foothold to feel confident, to learn what it was like to be in a position where not *everyone* was looking down on me. From there it's a much smaller step to realise that you can actually help other people; there is always someone you can help- and helping can make you feel more calm and content than anything else. (at least this was they way it worked for me. If you are in a tough spot, try this stuff. if it doesn't work, try other stuff. the key is to find the things that you are good at, and f*ck all those people how say you suck because you can hit a fastball. it really makes absolutly no difference once the day of your death arrives. how have you bettered the world? How have you helped those next to you? Have you been honest to yourself, and worked on you weaknesses? Then when it comes time for you to pass away, you will have nothing to fret about- you have done all that you could with what you had. you could to nothing more. THAT is peace)

love to everyone. I hope this helps someone. It helpd me remeber how seriously frustrating those feelings were. I haven't felt them in a couple years now...I feel really bad for anyone still stuck in that depression. it doesn't matter. work hard, and it will go away. allow yourself to feel like crap, stay still and allow it to fester, and you'll stay in the same place forever. only you have the responsibility for yourself. everyone else has their own lives to deal with. Get up and change something, if you don't like it. even if you fail, you've done something, and "at least I tried" seriously feels alot better then "f*ck it, I'm going to fail anyway. where the Nintendo?" a week later.

 

Thats exactly how I live.

 

Thanks for sharing this , river-wind . I didn't or don't have continuous saddness , but I have been and occasionally do get frustrated and unhappy ...such is life . School can be very difficult for some people , especially for the young . They are just discovering not only the world around them , but also who they are ...who they want to be . Many place a high importance on fitting in ...not doing so can be very stressfull .

A couple questions ......You say :

Who told you this ?

Again , who told you this ? Was it the same people who tried to "correct" your brain chemistry ?

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (ssri's) have frequent serious side effects like : "psychosis , mania , suicide ideation , sexual dysfunction , atrial fibrillation , confusion , dyskinesia , neuroleptic malignant syndrome-like events , pulmonary hypertension " etc...

 

chronic depression.. answer is in neuroscience

..if you feel you have this.. go to a neuropsychologist or a neuroscientist...cuz psychology is way too outdated. find the physical basis for your problem.

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Re: manic depression

Actually most people with the disorder spend much longer periods well, with a normal mood state, than they do sick. But when an episode occures it can be severe and prolonged.

You can also get a sort of "in between" type of episode called a "mixed episode" or "mixed mania." This is a state in which a patient has all the activation and impulsivity of a manic state plus the extreme hopelessness and guilt of depression. It often involves a psychotic break and carries a high risk for violence and suicide in some people.

Theories say Bipolar and Cyclothymic Disorders, as well as some forms of "regular" depression, are more common among professionals and creative types. Many actors and writers are sufferers. But so are many people who sleep under bridges. I'm sure background, social class, comorbidity, and other varied factors are involved.

 

"...most people with the disorder spend much longer periods well, with a normal mood state, than they do sick. "

How convenient . Some time they are happy and sometime they are unhappy . Everyone has mood swings . Seriously depressed people , most likely have something to be seriously depressed about . Take for instance the study that concluded that 80% of people in prison are "depressed" ... Well, duh .

From childrens education to the media , to our legal systems and political machinery ... a camarilla of pseudo - scientific , drug - pushing hucksters has encroached into all aspects of our lives .

 

To answer the first question: the Doctors. Phycolo -gists, -trists, and GP's. yep, the people who were trying to 'correct' my brain. I think it's a missclasification that I have a 'learning disability'- I can obviously learn. I just do it differently than most. that's not a disability, it's just a difference. But it's easier to call it a learning disability, because people more easily understand what I'm talking about. I should have said "I was diagnosed" as opposed to "I have", oops

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as for the second question: no one told me. I can see, from and unmedicated, functional standpoint, that it helped me get to where I am. I would not start taking meds again, ever, but I'm glad I took them for a while. they were a useful tool at the time.

And I was pretty lucky w/ the side effects- I got dry mouth a bit, and the sexual side effects were more of a good thing- I lasted longer. More than one "only get out of bed to eat and pee for 3 days straight" sessions w/ the old gf

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We'll have to wait and see if there are any long-term side effects.

 

i know i'm kind of sticking my neck out here but...

I think there's a difference between being sad or going through a rough spot in life and being clinically depressed, and i'm not going to blame it all on the doctors either.

for one thing, not everybody in highschool is obsessed with fitting in or establishing an identity. I can understand objectivly how there's so much social stresses in high school but I, for one, never was much a part of it. I had my little group of friends and we didn't do much but make A's (and that takes a lot of time and energy in the upper-level classes). you'd think that we were all living model lives here.

for another thing, I don't feel like letting someone tell me what to think and then just going along with it. the lable "depression" is all well and good if you're a doctor and feel like handing out drugs or assigning therapy. my motto is: don't take anyone's word for something if they're trying to take your money. i'm sure that the idea of clinical depression gets confused with other things like teen angst (*snicker*). but that doens't make it a myth.

there are people who's lives just suck and it can take them years and years to get over it even once they've removed themselves from the situation. my hypothesis (and everybody's got one) is that you train your mind to think one way when your survival is at stake and then when you get to a less stressful environment it's hard to retrain your mind into less of a defensive mode. (I'm thinking of this neurologically as well as psychologically)

i'm still not sure what you're supposed to call it when you wander around for 95% of your time feeling so emotionally sick that it's almost physical. and i'm even less sure what you're supposed to do about it. from an outsider's point of view it's easy to just say "get over it, stop thinking that way" but when you've been feeling this way for a long time it's hard to just change your mind.

 

How convenient? Mania is unequal to happiness. Some people get classic euphoric manias, but they progress (in type I) to "stage three mania" in which psychosis and paranoid delusions can and frequently do occure. Other people get dysphoric manias, with severe anxiety or irritability. I doubt it's an invention of convenience, especially when it leads to a committals and life times of medication. Or job and marriage loss, and general discomfort.

And the depressive phase of Bipolar Disorder is more likely to involve suicidal and psychotic thinking, catatonic behavior, and delusions. It can go on for months and theoretically years, though this form is rare. Once again, not a matter of convenience. If it were, no one would expect a suicide rate of 15% of sufferers.

The episodes involved in real clinical BPD are not little ups and downs. They're severe, pathological affective and cognitive events, like an epileptic's seizures. In fact, the same medications treat both disorders.

Next you'll tell me schizophrenia is a valid life style choice.

You been reading Thomas Szasz silly libertarian pamphlets? Or are just a big Tom Cruise fan?