Totally pointly inventions

Discussion in 'General Science & Technology' started by alexb123, Mar 13, 2008.

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  1. Myles Registered Senior Member

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    A pocket ashtray
     
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  3. Myles Registered Senior Member

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  5. domesticated om Interplanetary homesteader Valued Senior Member

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    The synth banks that are supposed to sound like brass instruments (IE - trumpet, saxophone) or string instruments (IE - violin, chello)

    What alternate dimension do you have to be from to believe they sound even remotely close to those things LOL?
     
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  7. Spud Emperor solanaceous common tater Registered Senior Member

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    Nice one Myles but I'm not so sure I want my cat's unpredictable arse only centimetres from my noodles.
    And those cat-hair collecting slippers giving off a puff of furballs every time he lets one rip.
    Spaghetti and furballs?
     
  8. Captain Kremmen All aboard, me Hearties! Valued Senior Member

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    Why? Something wrong with your cat's arse?
    Probably tastes better than noodles.
     
  9. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    They do an acceptable job with a string section, especially on rock songs with their ham-fisted dynamics. But the attack and sustain of an individual instrument is beyond them, not to mention tremolo. The essence of the first violin, second violin or viola section in an orchestra is to blend the slightly different pitches and tremolos of all the members into a pure and simple waveform. But the essence of a solo violin or cello is that each note has its own waveform, individually handcrafted to fit the spirit of the piece being performed, and moreover that each time any note is repeated it will not necessarily be crafted the same way--like a human voice.

    The same is true of brass although the specific characteristics of the tone are different. I suspect a synthesizer could be programmed to do a decent job of a brass section, but there's not much call for these in popular music so AFAIK no one has bothered to try to simulate, say, a brass marching band. On my $150 Yamaha, the individual brass instruments are far less realistic than the violin or cello, which are only barely believable.

    It does a better job on woodwinds, which have a purer tone, and percussion. Boy can I do a great imitation of a vibraphone, a steel drum, or Zamfir's panpipes.

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    Even a piano has a certain amount of variation between successive occurrences of the same note. Some is deliberate, some is the random effect of the complex mechanism. My friend who plays keys uses a PC in his rig and just bought the top-end piano synthesizing software. It was loaded by sampling each key eight times instead of one waveform per octave which is what the early ones had. Every time he hits a key he gets a slightly different random combination of those eight samples. The difference is on the edge of conscious hearing and it sounds eerily real.

    The technology of music simulation is catching up.
     
  10. Myles Registered Senior Member

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    Whatever turns you on
     
  11. madanthonywayne Morning in America Registered Senior Member

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    You hatemonger!!!!! Don't you realize the female gets an extra 9 months after you stick your pecker in to decide?
     
  12. Pinocchio's Hoof Pay the Devil, or else.......£ Registered Senior Member

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    Democracy.....
     
  13. Lord Hillyer Banned Banned

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    The United States.
     
  14. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

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    If this were a thread about the greatest invention, I would have to say the greatest invention is nipples!!!!!! They're beautiful, and nourishing!
     
  15. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Has anyone mentioned the speedo swimsuit for guys? <shudder>
     
  16. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

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    Don't know what to tell you on that one. Maybe it's one of those "right-not-privilege" arguments, but there are times when a man in a Speedo is a welcome sight for sore eyes.
     
  17. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    My eyes are NEVER that sore. Well. they may burn after seeing a old fat man in a speedo.
     
  18. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    I remember when I was in highschool. The guy that lived across the street used to wash his dads car in a speedo sometimes. Didn't hurt my eyes one bit, as I peered through the upstairs window through the blinds. lolol

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the memories!

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  19. ElectricFetus Sanity going, going, gone Valued Senior Member

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    Was he an "old fat man" in a speedo?
     
  20. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    Nuthin like a bunch of tech heads to ruin music,eh?
     
  21. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Oh course not!! He was a Buff 17 yr old

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  22. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    grillz. I was also gonna say those spinning hubcaps til I saw a wheel chair with them. That was cool.

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  23. ElectricFetus Sanity going, going, gone Valued Senior Member

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