Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Medicine*Woman, Jun 14, 2010.

  1. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

    M*W: I have copied this from the Houston Atheist Group's website:


    10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

    9- You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

    7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' --Including women, children, and animals!

    6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about god sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.!

    4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving'.

    3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor, speaking in 'tongues,' may be all the evidence you need.

    2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a "Christian."
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  3. sandy Banned Banned

    Top 10 signs you're an on-fire-for-Jesus Born-Again Christian:
    1--You have a beautiful glow.
    2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
    3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
    4--You have everything your heart desires.
    5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
    6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
    7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
    8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
    9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
    10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.

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  5. jahina Child of the Universe Registered Senior Member

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  7. sandy Banned Banned

  8. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

    The believer will fabricate anything and everything right out of thin air, often contradicting the simplest levels of common sense and dignity all the while sticking long needles into honesty and integrity dolls.

    Kristians Kausing Konflict.
  9. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    * * * * NOTE FROM A MODERATOR (but not the Moderator of this board) * * * *

    This subforum is for scholarship.

    This thread should be moved to the Religion board, the only place on SciForums where taking religion seriously does not automatically qualify as trolling.
  10. Expositus Registered Member

  11. Try Again No, I'm not a mod. Registered Senior Member

    I do deny the existence of other Gods, I do not get angry when you deny it,

    Again, I am not offended by evolution, but I do think it is wrong.

    I don't laugh at other religions. A Trinity God? You don't understand this, three persons, one God. Kind of like marriage, two persons, one marriage.
    Muslims don't bother me, I do believe they are wrong. I am not opposed to God judging rebellious people, God will do what He wills.
    It's one thing to say you had sex with a woman, another to say you put a child in her.
    I don't believe in men guessing, I believe in god knowing.
    I am against Pentecostalism, rolling on the ground and speaking is 'tongues' is foolishness.
    I do? I understand that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.
    Wrong again, I have done extensive studies on church history and on the Bible. Your posts show your ignorance, Medicine Woman.
  12. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

    We deny only one more god than you.

    Actually, you believe it's wrong. You would have to understand evolution first before commenting. Anyone who does understand evolution also understands why it is correct.

    In a marriage, there are still separate beings so your example makes no sense.

    Yes, your god hates them and will send them to a pit of hellfire for an eternity to suffer in pain and agony while you go on adoring, loving and worshiping this god for doing so.

    So, what is the difference?

    And, believing in invisible sky daddies who will violate the laws of physics on the whim of the meek isn't foolishness?

    Of course, the tens of thousands of children who starve every day are not in gods favor. Perhaps, they hate god and god is wielding his wrath against them? How does that work?
  13. Café Cappuccino Truth can only be half said Registered Senior Member

    Actually, no.
    If you compare it to marriage, then trinitarianism would not be a form of monotheism. In a marriage two individuals get married. In Christian theology, there is only one God.

    I don't think you understand the concept.
    It's supposedly mysterious and counterintuitive.
  14. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

    M*W: Kind of like a living room suite, you get five pieces of furniture, but it's considered one suite???

    Or a full deck of cards... it's only one deck, but it's got to have 52 cards, etc..

    Or a combination plate... it's only one plate, but it's got to include the taco, otherwise, it's one taco shy of a combination plate.

    These are some of the other mysteries of life.
  15. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

    11. "Everyone unguiltily hates you whether you've done anything or not?" :shrug:
  16. Café Cappuccino Truth can only be half said Registered Senior Member

    I cannot post URLs until I've reached 20 posts (this would be the 12th), but for all things Catholick... I give you Catholic Encyclopedia (ecce encyclopaedia catholica, tolle lege) :

    ht tp: //ww w.

    (I had to add spaces so the system would allow me to post it, so delete the spaces to get there)
  17. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

    I found this to be rather amusing.

    I couldn't find a good video to present, so explore more than just that one.

    (He's a satirical writer, he's not being serious, if you didn't get the hints.)
  18. John99 Banned Banned

    Are you sure he is not being serious? On evolution, i just cannot make a commitment. I say 'John, evolution is NOT amgic. The animals DID change'. But it is a struggle for me. Eyelashes on a human? Teeth? would evolution produce a single hard surface as opposed to separate teeth that go bad fall out to the point where the human can no longer eat properly. Signifying their time is coming to an end like their own clock.
  19. John99 Banned Banned

    M*W, is number 1 true? If it is, why?
  20. Kernl Sandrs Registered Senior Member

    Quite sure. It's under the comedy category, and tagged as being satire. He is having a laugh at the expense of Christians, and doing a good job of it.

    What about them?

    I think that first sentence was supposed to end in a question mark. But the answer is yes, it would. Our teeth "go bad to the point where we cannot eat properly" as you say is not because of evolution, but because of all the shit we shovel into our mouths that rots them to the core.
  21. John99 Banned Banned

    Yes, it is a question. How and why did teeth evolve the way they did?
  22. Bert Registered Member


    Yep that sure doesn't sound like moi!

    with THE most awesome love? sounds like a super-dooper mega most awesome love to me!

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  23. Ja'far at-Tahir Grand Ayatollah of SciForums Registered Senior Member

    Is this really an attitude a moderator should be displaying?

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