To smack or not to smack....that is the question!

How do you earn that respect? To those parents that don't earn respect, it is sad: they never really punished their children.

 

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really

How do you get the respect of your boss? How does your boss earn your respect? by physical violence?

How do you earn the respect of your wife?
By hitting her?

What about your peers and friends?

hitting someone makes there respect for you go DOWN not up. I herd this comment on the radio made in relation to the state goverment but it aplies here. An army general puts up a notice "beatings will continue until moral improves".

"Do you repect me now you little shit?"
"No"
*wack*
"how about now?"

Your kids will fear you, they wont respect you because you betray there trust. Your the one who is ment to be there to PROTECT them not the one who is ment to hurt them

 

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How do you earn the respect of your dog? By letting it jump all over everything? Nonrational creatures need physical punishment because it's the only thing they really understand.

There's a difference between beating something out of anger and asserting physical dominance over something. Children, until they're old enough to be raional, operate outside of a social contract (dogs too). Because of that, sometimes, when they get too bossy, need to be reminded who is in charge.

 

You've always struck me as the type to walk her children on a leash.

 

Asguard,

Spanking is most useful when children are very young. When they don't really understand other forms of punishment. And you don't go around smacking them for every mistake. You spank them for outright disobedience or engaging in activities that are dangerous.

I certainly don't spank my 18 year old son. I take away his car/computer/xbox etc.

But 2 year olds don't have any privileges to take away. And it takes a minimal swat to get the point across that they've done something wrong.

 

Exactly.

 

and how do you train a dog?

The ONLY times i have EVER hit a dog is when one atacked my cat (i did have to inflict real pain then to get her away from the dog) and the one time my dog bit me. In the second she got a smack across the nose. The way i have trained my dogs is by REWARD not by abuse.

When my patner was young her parents bought her a dog. It was a pure breed german shephered and when she went to pat the dog it went nuts and bit her. Her parents took it straight back and latter found out that the reason it atacked was it had been beaten.

The only thing pain teaches an animal (or a child) is fear not love.

 

It's not about pain.
Try reading with comprehension this time.

 

as a kid, all spanking did was make me more cautious in doing naughty stuff, as well as making me heaps scared of my parents when i screwed up. rewarding kids makes them repeat the right behaviour, instead of trying to scare them away from doing the wrong thing. Where others have said you need to ignore bad behaviour, of course you pull them aside when its heaps bad. they do it for attention, and if they're that desperate for attention then maybe you need to give them more attention. i know from having little brothers and sisters, you treat them right and they'll learn to consider your feelings when they do stuff. as the parent, they'll perceive your idea of the right behaviour as just ur opinion, and when you spank them and punish them they'll lose respect for you.

another thing, getting smacked doesn't make you reflect. talk to a child if you want them to reflect and think. getting smacked makes you scared.

 

feel i should mention, smacks can stop kids doing the wrong thing. dealing with it in a way that doesn't damage ur child can be a lot harder.

 

ok actually, they're not brats they are just "kids", we have ahd a breakthrough the last week or so, they are so well behaved, i love my kids to much to smack them, i have smacked them and i felt so guilty afterwards! i don't think hitting a child for hitting anouther kid is right its just promoting violence

 

bells, i was hit by my mother when i was younger, the only thing it taught me was to punch back harder.

 

My mother "taught" me using explosive, surprise-attack violence, both hands or fists swinging. It was never just what was necessary. She started screaming matches that I couldn't help but respond to, then when she decided she'd had enough of screaming, that hand would pop up and strike me across the face with all of her adult strength behind it. Then she would work over my body with hands and sometimes fists. I remember her using the fists on me when I weight about 30 pounds. I still physically hurt from that treatment.

This is what she thought of as "smacking" me.

 

I have the theory that most parents that refuse to hit their kids or use violence were hit to much as kids, the generalize all corporal punishment as causing the same emotional and physical trauma that the abuse on them caused, a simple failure of logic.

Asguard,

True you don't earn respect by hitting someone, but then again you don't raise your boss, wife or co-worker, child are not adults. A child may not respect you if the child knows that it won't receive consequences for it actions, it has tested you to your limit and surpassed it, once that happens the child may not respect you, or at least it won't respect you any more then a vending machine that spits out toys, food, and money when ever you ask it. The only thing lack of pain teaches an animals is that they can walk all over. If you want your child to love you, cuddle it, if you want your child to respect you, show it your the authority, you can do both, neither restricts the other.

Bells,

Once again your distorting my argument, I never said smack them for every little thing, nor did I say it was right to do that, smacking is simply a level of punishment administered when the lower levels fail. We seem to agree on this but for some reason you want to argue with me. Tough love is doing things to your child you really rather you didn't have to, like beating it for having done something horribly wrong. Yes there is a fine line between spanking and abuse, it easy not to cross though, spanking is legal, at least were I live.

 

yeah, my mum used to smack me about whenever she felt the need to, one night i was five minutes late coming home and we had just finsihed decorating the house and we broke up furniture, so she pikced up a leg of a chair with a nail in it, and she hit me about with it, i can remember screaming and the blood afterwards, i don't see my mum anymore, she doesnt even know where i live, and she will not ever has access to my kids!

 

My Dad never smacked me. He didn't need to, I had enough respect to know when he said "no" he meant business. He was beaten cruelly when he was a kid, so he felt any violence was unnecessary.

Someone just said something about beating dogs to teach them how to behave. How on earth will that teach the dog aggression isn't correct behaviour? All that does, as with children, is assert that physical retaliation is a correct method of asserting your authority. And we all know what happens to violent dictators in the end. I'm not saying children don't need clear rules and boundaries set, obviously they do. If you have to resort to violence to convey that, then one's communication skills need a huge overhaul. If corporal punishment is needed in those "emergency situations" then something went wrong with your parenting skills up to, and at, that moment. Animals use violence against each other because they don't have our communication skills, we have that advantage. We are intelligent, capable human beings, using physical dominance over others shows a huge lack of intellectual ability to solve problems with one's mind, not one's hands.