Things You Never Want To Hear

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by darksidZz, Aug 25, 2010.

  1. jmpet Valued Senior Member

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    "There's a 33% chance you will live past one year." -a cancer survivor
     
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  3. domesticated om Stickler for details Valued Senior Member

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    Washington (AP) -- Cleanup continues on what is considered by many to be the worst environmental and biological catastrophe in human history. Current estimates are that 99% of every male on earth has been exposed to Pregnium, a drug that makes men fertile and allows for them to be impregnated by women.
     
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  5. pineapplepizza Registered Senior Member

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    Your account has been frozen.
     
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  7. NO1 I Am DARKNESS Registered Senior Member

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    I second that notion
     
  8. Trooper Secular Sanity Valued Senior Member

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  9. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

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    Again being from your own mom..



    Who are you?? I don't have any children!


    P.S. I have experienced this.:bugeye:
     
  10. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    "Now please welcome president Palin".
     
  11. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    Aaah!
     
  12. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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  13. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    " I'm sorry to tell you but your son has cancer "

    " Is this Ms _________? Yes "I am sorry to inform you but your son was killed in an accident."

    The worst thing I can imagine hearing is something fatal involving my children.
     
  14. pjdude1219 The biscuit has risen Valued Senior Member

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    during surgery

    I don't think that was supposed to be removed
     
  15. deicider got omnicidead Registered Senior Member

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    "I love you" in a redneck accent,i would be damaged indefinitely.
     
  16. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    25,817
    The office is downsizing
    Its not you, it's me. Well, no, it is you.
     
  17. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Worst thing I ever heard:

    Mom died last night - they've already buried her.
     
  18. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

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    Shifting verb tense for a reason (or maybe that's just an excuse)

    After my daughter was born, the doctors stitcher her mother back up with standard sutures. It was a fine decision as the numbers go; she's 4'10, small frame. But, apparently, this was an anomaly. The doctor told me later they have heavier sutures, but they usually use them on larger people, like the obese.

    Anyway, at one point on day one, the nurse comes in. Tig reports some pain around the incision. The nurse does a few things, and then removes the gauze over the incision ... and instantly puts it back in place. She looks at me as if to say, "Did you see that?" and I replied without nodding. The nurse then just turned and walked out of the room.

    "What's going on?" Tig asks, and of course I lie. A stoner thing. Easy. Shrug, make a noncomittal exhalation. "Dunno. Nothing."

    Fifteen seconds later, a team wheels in and explains to her that she's ruptured a suture, and her intestine is protruding. They'll take her back to the operating room and take care of it directly; that was the pain she was feeling.

    I don't know. She believed me. And, yes, I did see that. It was ... an interesting sight.

    Apparently, they get her into the OR, and onto the table, and the last thing she hears as she's going down is the last thing anyone wants to hear. One of the doctors suddenly says, "Oh, shit!"

    He'd dropped the breathing tube is all; they had to get another. No real danger, but yeah, I can see how that's the last thing in the Universe anyone ever wants to hear as they slip down into the abyss.
     
  19. chaos1956 Banned Banned

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    238
    the sound of my own voice echos in my brain.

    I care not for fame or glory only for a good form- understanding.

    but in the span of time I am nothing

    I feel it in my bones and it haunts my dreams out of memory.

    the echos of my voice.
     
  20. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

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    I think this qualifies..
     
  21. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    'Your sister is dead, now you have to adopt her annoying little son'.
     
  22. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    The good news is there's a pill for your fatal condition. The bad news is it's rather new so it's the size of a pineapple and is a suppository.
     
  23. Yellow Jacket Registered Senior Member

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    "Uh oh," while getting a haircut.

    "Shit, we are out of lube..." (self explanatory)

    "I'm not drucking funk, ociffer.....I'm just poking smot!!" (if you're on the legal side of things)
     

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