The Sciforums Royal Rumble

You want to play that way... OK!

The broken shield has a problem! It doesn't vomit anymore. In fact, it's the opposite : it attracts everything and the more it eats, the more it attracts. After only a few seconds, it becomes a BLACK HOLE that destroy all the current players and Cthulhu (This fat bastard is also eaten from the inside!).

In your face!

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*Wouhou... that's craaazy in the stadium... Tada da da dam da da...*

 

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No no no! Cthulhu is a god, he cannot be destroyed! Haven't you ever read The Call of Cthulhu? Let me direct you to the proper link. Gahh...kids these days...

 

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*Dave was merely a bit stunned at all this stuff appearing, and trying to work out what to do next, as well as get out the way of one of the dragons who is taking off into the air. fortunately he recognised one of the swords from last year, an executioners one that flies through the air and slices peoples heads off, so he picks it up and trhows it at the demon azagoth, who is busy eating tyler, slicing his head off, at the same time as the dragon, who has recognised the demon as the greater threat, breaths a great gout of fire, and burns up the demons head when it is severed from the body, thus causing permanent unrecoverable death to the demon. Dave wilts to the ground in relief, picking up one of the religious books as he does so.*

 

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I know what is Cthulhu... I already played the game too!

However, the Call of Cthulhu is just a book. Why do you think you're able to read it? Because I am stronger than Cthulhu and I allowed H. P. Lovecraft to write it (while I was putting Chtulhu in its cave like a bad dog).

Any question to your new master?!

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No, that's fine, I don't need apologies...

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ok what seem to be the problem here?, OH MY GOD!

 

...just call me SG-N. (I'm shy)

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Hang on, if SGN's away for teh weekend, then they cant be posting. Is it a fake?

 

*The music to Terminator comes on*
Allows for suspense to highten.
I am looking fo sawa o'conna.
Tell me,or I vill turmenate you.

*readjusts the double aa batteries in my chest*
This mast be da rong forum.
I vont be bach.

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*fetus in a panic finds the reset button*

Ok battle is over, its was a draw, new battle and some new rules:
A. No character can be killed, only the characters creature can do that.
B. No character is invincible and must have a weakness, No character can defeat s/he/its enemy in such a way that the enemy cannot counter attack.
Z. Rules Will change and be revised at times, failing to stick to the rules will cause battle reset with you not being the winner.

New battle begins on the planet of Transsexual in the galaxy of Transylvania, its night (as always) and its raining underwear…

 

"B. No character is invincible and must have a weakness, No character can defeat s/he/its enemy in such a way that the enemy cannot counter attack."

Thats partly what was confusing me. how real does it have to be? I mean if you hit me on the forehead really hard id be confused long enough for you to crush my throat. SOmething like that could go on for ages, like the black knight in monty python.

And it occured ot me i took it too seriously and had the wrong sort of character.

 

Revision made

A. No character can be killed, only the characters creator and judge(s) can do that.
1. The judge(s) shell declare the victor and the defeated.

B. No character is invincible and must have a weakness, No character can defeat s/he/its enemy in such a way that the enemy cannot counter attack.

Z. Rules will change and be revised at times, failing to stick to the rules will cause battle reset with you not being the winner.

 

OK. Back from my lil trip. I see this place hath fallen into complete and utter chaos. Ho hum. This happens with people who have never done this before.

I see no way to remedy this ... mess. Judges, any ideas? Besides starting a completely new thread?

 

oh well it was fun while it lasted

 

Be not fatalists ye of simple minds. Wotan is proud of this battle and all who victored and perished! I look forever foward to the next epic...Planet Transsexual!!!!!!!!!! *Thunder pounds the sky*
*trumpets blow some archaic tune* *The sexy maidens dance naked around the rose bushes*

*Name: Sven
*Race: Human
*Equipment:

*A long norse sword, with the ability to start people on fire at random. Upon the sword are runes spelling the words: “Slayer of Idiots”.

*A simple wooden spear. In the ancient tradition it is custom to throw a spear over the enemy party to signal good luck and the start of the battle.

*A standard Viking axe.

*A black shield with a giant red sunwheel painted on the front, with iron spikes coming out of each point in the cardinal directions. When activated the sunwheel gives off a blinding light as intense as the sun.

*Berserk potion: a strange mix of alcohol and mushrooms, once consumed it makes my character invincible to all pain and completely out of control. My attacks are 10x as deadly. This effect lasts about two minutes, in that time I will become normal again.

*Three healing potions made of the roots of the World Tree.

*Height: 7"

*Spells/Abilities:
-War cry: This unearthly cry is so horrible it can paralyze enemies for five seconds. Very exhausting however.
-Rune magic: Can cast spells according to the runes I draw upon the ground:
For example: Sig rune= Lightning.
-Possession: Can become possessed by Odin himself, which causes terrible things to happen to enemies but may also have unpredictable consequences for myself. Ha ha ha.
-Shapeshift: Can transform into a wolf or a bear. Although this makes my armor useless, thus more easily killed, it increases my speed, ferocity, agility, and damage.

*Skills:
-Can smell blood and smoke from 6 miles away.
-Run: Can run for 30 miles nonstop in under 10 minutes.
-Natural communication: Can translate the words of trees, rocks, and animals.
-Drinking: Can drink 900 horns of mead without passing out. This has no use in battle but it’s awesome at the bar.

*Appearance:
See the picture.

I guess I look like this, since it's the best I could find (yeah, I know it's spawn and yes, I know real vikings don't have horns):

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Name: Rieklaand Kirkpatrick XVII
Species: WASP
Equipment:

+Melancholy blaster, a ray gun that instantly turns even the happiest of people blue.

+70's William Shatner (aka Captain Kirk). He rides a large horse.

+A fat asian man that has a large stereo on his shoulder and who plays the song "Big Butts" whenever action begins to unfold, a la Kung Pow.

+Scroll of Summon Cthulhu. No man should be without one.

+A baseball bat that shouts phrases in ebonics whenever it is used.

+A large, vibrating egg

+A used coca-cola can that is actually filled with vodka.

+Scroll of Summon George H.W Bush.

+Another baseball bat that shouts phrases that an English fellow of Oxford University would shout whenever it is used.

+Scroll of Summon Violent Mob of Young, Naked Women.

+And of course, the Penis of Time and the Vagina of Time. They speak for themselves.

Spells/Abilities:

Rieklaand Kirkpatrick XVII is a retired Rear Admiral of the British Navy, and as such, he has little in the way of magical spells and or abilities. But there are some worthy of mention--

+The Welsch British Accent, a tongue nearly incomprehensible to most English speakers around the world.

+The cliche uniform and appearance, a la Counselor Cliche from The Matrix: Reloaded.

+Acute sense of touch. Like, he can tell mahogany wood from..err...normal wood just by, like touching it.


Appearance: he looks and acts exactly like Counselor Cliche from The Matrix: Reloaded.

 

I’m not going to be a judge anymore, I don’t think I will be around enough to enforce the law. School work and a internship at the same time will taxs me enough.

 

Alright.

I think I'll nix the royal rumble then. Bring it back some other time.

All you indecent blokes here, if you want to keep up the penis battles, go ahead. I'm out of here.

 

on "Penis Battles"

*whips it out*

RPGs like this are stupid and absurd to begin with. So myself and others decided to make it even stupider, even more absurd. And then next time you decide to whip out a royal rumble, Genital McOrifice will be right on your tale, Zero.

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This stuff is normally fun.

But only in a mature environment. Obviously, with Pollux V around, considering his age, and especially his mental age, this is not what one would call a "mature environment".

My apologies for not noticing that.

 

The rats are leaving the boat!

Wouhou...

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*jumping in the water too*

Gloop.. gloop... *Shit, I can't swim. I knew I should have learn!*