The Sciforums Royal Rumble

OK, well I'll let you steal daves pouch despite it being iside his jerkin. Maybe i shoudl have specified that, but in that case, how fast can fag goth open cd cases? Or does he have a caselogic case?

Besides you said stopmed hind legs like a bull, not used a bull charge.


*Dave runs forwards and slashes at faggoths arm, cutting it off.*

 

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Fag-goth is very disorganized, so he keeps them in his pocket for easy access, which takes about 1/2 second. He has a Cradle of Filth CD and a Godsmack CD. The COF Cd is worn dull, so he only has the Godsmack CD left.

Fag-goth: ARGHHHHHAA! My arm! TrVe brOOtality!

*Fag-goth's blood empties onto the ground, and he has no choice but to patch it up with his pants. He is now running around in raunchy boxers covered with inverted crosses. You might notice the white stain on the front.*

*Fag-goth picks up his severed arm and then wraps his nose chain around it, making an effective chain arm. He starts to swing it at Dave, smacking him in the face, causing a killer bruise to appear on his forehead.*

*He opens his Necronomicon and summons the cute kitten, which causes Lord Tyler to run over and pet it. He cannot act for one whole turn because he is too busy making googly noises and prodding the poor creature.*

 

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*DAve kills the kitten, then chops off fag goths other arm when goth overextends to try and hit him with the first arm.
SAys "I thought you said life was pain? Why not die now and end it all?"*

 

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Fag-goth: You call this pain? You pussy! Skin me! Rape me! Burn me! Kill me ever so slowly!

*Fag-goth bites Dave so hard in his scrotum that he passes out from the pain. Fag-goth then tears the sack right off with his teeth and swallows it like a good morbid necrophagiac homosexual. Fag-goth stands up, dizzy and stumbly from blood loss. He will be dead soon if he is not healed. He opens up Dave's pouch with his feet and intakes the second potion, which brings his arms back*

Fag-goth: Come on Lord Tyler, you big wuss! Come and get me!

 

*seeing that fag goth is missing two arms, and dave has his shield in front of his body, goth cannot get at his scrotum. Fortunately for goth he bounces off the lower edge of the shield, and dave stabs him in the left kidney.*

 

Come on Guthrie!! Alright, I'll wait until WCF comes and judges. He'll make the decision about what really happened and what didn't.

 

Is there some sort of unwritten set of rules in use here? AS far as im concerned, someone going into battle with a shield has it held over his body, and anyone trying to get close enough to bite his nads iwll just get his head chopped off.

 

Yes, you are right, but I'm sick of compromising everything, especially since dave was paralyzed by the cat.

Okay, it goes like this since I am sick of this gay character I have:

*Fag-goth lies on the ground, armless and kidney torn. Everything is getting dark.*

Fag-goth: "Broken and defeated, with the day I have waited for my entire life...the end of my life. The end of everything. How the cold shadows embrace the blah blah, etc...."

*Fag-goth speaks some final words from his AD&D Monsters Manual, summoning fourth Azatoth, who takes up host inside his body. He is now Aza-goth!

*Aza-goth jumps up, indifferent to his near death state and begins to howl horribly in demonic tongues and spits his own spine out through his throat, which is so forcefull it shatters Dave's shield. Aza-goth, now a bag of broken bones and organs seems to levitate in the air and begins to head up the hill towards
Lord Tyler.*

NOTE: Aza-goth's only weakness is his head, which must be severed and burnt to cause permanent death.

 

*the breaking of daves shield, although unlikely, in doing so, cause it to vomit up all it had eaten before in a long and hungry life. (yes, i did call it an eater shield. If I had allowed faggoths head to hit it when he dived for dave, his head would have been eaten. I thought that up in a boring time at work yesterday.) this includes, and is not limited to, three magic swords, two dragons, earth, air and wind elementals, a trolls head, various halves of a variety of bodies, bits of arms, some knives, a few bags of various sorts, containing unknown stuff, several magic spears and a book of spells from a necromancer, as well as the holy books of three different religions, usually swallowed by the shield as their owners thrust them out at dave or whoever had owned the shield before him.*

(DAve got the shield off someone nasty, but who was asleep at the time. And wasnt shortly afterwards.)

 

*Aza-goth sees Lord Tyler and simple lands on top of him to simply freak him out. His spineless body makes him a sort of blanket of flesh, which is starting to suffocate Tyler*

Aza-goth: E fhgut dj-oey! AZATOTH!

 

Everything seem to be going fine to me

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Who is on the "ground" (now, and if I don't miss anything) :

• Aza-goth (and2000x) - still ready to fight, but armless... or worse.
• Lord Tyler (guthrie) - seems to be shocked... he don't move anymore.
• Dave (guthrie) - waiting with his broken shield.
• McOrifice (Pollux V) - losing his blood...
• Victorian-era British Redcoat (Pollux V) - ???
• Malchik (Mystech) - ???

And coming soon...

• 2 dragons
• 1 earth elemental
• 1 air elemental
• 1 wind elemental
• lots of stuff but the books are not readable (the dragons love to use them as chewingums).

Good luck guys !!!

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That's about right SG-N. The Victorian Redcoat should technically be standing by Dave with his musket ready to fire, but he hasn't moved. Malchik should be standing near us too, but she seems to have left. Foetus (not fetus) is waiting in his bubble. I say we make meat out of them if they don't want to play! Dave's shield isn't broken really, it's just vomiting.

Aza-goth (and2000x) - On top of Tyler.

Lord Tyler (guthrie) - Isn't moving because of his cowardice.

Dave (guthrie) - waiting with his shield vomiting.

McOrifice (Pollux V) - bleeding by his severed penis.

Victorian-era British Redcoat (Pollux V) - Waiting with musket loaded

Malchik (Mystech) - waiting.

Foetus- Waiting, his bubble badly burnt

No dragons or elements are on the ground yet because they haven't been summoned.

 

One good thing has been done! Now it's more easy to know what's going on.

You're right, the dragons and the elementals are not yet on the battle ground. But they are coming and the judges will choose when to display them. They have no friends and will attack everyone. When Dave will have find a way to stop its shield, could his "owner" say it to us?

 

“Release the one-eyed giant dwarf!”

SG-N I command thee to kill now!

 

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu
fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagan!

*McOrifice chants what is written on the Scroll of Summon Cthulhu*

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*Cthulhu rises out of a distant cave, for he is an enormous, walking biped with a squid/octopus for a head*

*Cthulhu walks over, picks up everyone including McOrifice, the British Redcoat, and FOETUS, and eats them*

GAME OVER

 

OK, as a judge I can't fight... but I can see a surprise for our young players : the earth elemental is free now!
I looked who would be attacked first and it seems to be McOrifice because he may be the one that move the most (I would do the same with a severed penis!).

Earth Elemental : 4m, no weapons, doesn't feel pain, can't be attacked with a magical trick.

*So, McOrifice... someone is coming for you...*
*Earth Elemental : "Rrrrrr Prrrrr..."*

 

Hey you cheat

Pollux V :
What's up?! One rule was : "characters may not be bigger than 12 feet", so you can't display your big friend!

 

No now the battle can continue un-interrupted in Cthulhu stomach.

 

Yup. There you go.

*in Cthulhu's stomach*

*McOrifice uses the Vagina of Time to heal his bleeding penis, as well as the other cuts he recieved from being chewed by an enormous living god*

*FOETUS prepares for battle, as does The Victorian-Era British Redcoat, each after being healed by the Vagina of Time*