The Passing of a Great Man

Discussion in 'About the Members' started by MacGyver1968, Oct 2, 2011.

  1. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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    [Thread split from "Dealing with loss"; 11 posts moved, 5 copied.]


    We're now in the same boat, Sci. My Mother and Father went to San Antonio this weekend. My dad fell on the concrete leaving his hotel room and hit his head. He had some really bad bleeding in his brain. He's being kept alive by life support. I'm flying down this morning. When I get there, they will take him off life support. It still hasn't sunk in yet. I'll be back in a couple of days.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2011
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  3. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    My condolences to everybody here who has posted about losing somebody they love.

    Words are never sufficient.
     
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  5. Ghost_007 Registered Senior Member

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    Really sorry to hear that mate.

    * hug *
     
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  7. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    @ sifreak, things do "get better", but it never goes away.
    @ Mac, ah shit. Hasn't sunk in yet? Five years later it STILL hasn't quite sunk in that dad's dead.

    Commiserations to both of you (and anyone else in the same boat).
     
  8. elte Valued Senior Member

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    I wish no one here had to lose people they love.
     
  9. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    what? we all will. Everybody dies. My children have been taught that. I was raised that way as well. Death is a part of life.
     
  10. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

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    We still have our memories of them. In a way they always stay close to the people who love them. That's good enough for me.
     
  11. scheherazade Northern Horse Whisperer Valued Senior Member

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    So sorry to hear about your Dad, MacGyver.

    In the blink of an eye, the lives of any of us can be gone or forever changed. Discussions regarding 'free will' seem redundant when one contemplates the seemingly random and chaotic influences that may, or may not, choose to visit any one of us, without warning.
     
  12. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    Shit . That is the shits . Shit , Fuck
     
  13. kira Valued Senior Member

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    Sorry to hear that, Mac. I hope he is treated well and comfortable.
     
  14. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Oh Mac, how horrible. Fine one minute and then a simple fall takes it all away. Your poor Mom. How sad for you all.

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  15. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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    Well..I just got home. Thank you all for your condolences.

    My father spent his last hours on the river walk in San Antonio with his grand children. As he and my mom were walking, holding hands (she likes to joke that people think it's cute..but it's more to hold each other up

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    ), she asked him "Dear, I have a told you I love you today?" (they do this ever night before bed, but for some reason she decided to ask him then) They both exchanged "I love you's" and this was their last private conversation.

    An hour later, they returned to the hotel, and rather than taking the sidewalk, my dad, for some strange reason, decided to cut through a 2 foot wide flower bed that separated the parking lot from the sidewalk. He lost his balance (he's 88 and has been growing more and more unstable with his balance in the past few months) and fell backwards and hit the back of his head on the concrete.
    He was doing fine at first, but the blow created a sub-dermal hematoma in his brain, which was made worse by him being on the blood thinner Plavax. When the doctors took him in to do a CT scan, he stopped breathing, and they put him on a ventilator. The neurosurgeon told my mom that surgery would kill him, and wouldn't do any good anyway, because the damage to his brain was already done. They did a brain activity test that ranks from 3 to 10, and he scored a 3..the lowest it can go. My cousin, his wife, and I flew down sunday morning, and after spending a few hours with him..the decision was made to take him off the ventilator...as my father had expressed his wishes not to kept alive artificially if he ever went into a vegetative state. We went quickly, surrounded by his love ones.

    My mom said she she believes this was actually a blessing. As some of you know, my father suffered from Alzheimer's and the rate of his decline had dramatically increased in the past few months. His health has been getting dramatically worse also. She was glad that he did not have to go through a long period of suffering or spend his last days in a nursing home bed. He went quickly after spending a fun day with his grandkids, and only suffered for a couple of hours.

    My father was part of the "Greatest Generation". He volunteered for service in WWII, and flew B-24's and B-25's over Italy. After the war, he worked as a civil engineer, building roads and bridges all over East Texas. He then moved into aerospace engineering, and helped design many of the most well know civilian and military aircraft...the F-4, F-16, F-18, AV-8B...the 727, 737, 747, 757, and 777...to name a few. After retiring at the ripe old age of 75, he spent 2 1/2 years running a hospitality house for indigent patients near a Galveston hospital, and volunteered at a local homeless shelter. He served his community, his family, his church and his nation with distinction and selflessness. I was lucky to have man as great as he as a father. He will be missed.

    (could a mod please split this thread, so Sci has his own thread. I didn't mean to highjack his.) Please title it "The Passing of a Great Man")
     
  16. Ghost_007 Registered Senior Member

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    That's very moving MacGyver.

    I am very sorry for your loss. Your father sure as hell sounds like a great man. And I'm positive all those that knew him will cherish his memory and be thankful for having known him.
     
  17. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks Ghost, (and others via PM) I'm not nearly as sad as I thought I would be. I thought I'd be a wreck, and while I'm sad he's gone..I'm also glad he pretty much died with his shoes on, in the company of the ones he loved...and didn't suffer.
     
  18. Bells Staff Member

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    I am so so sorry for your loss.

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    It is good that he and your mother had that last conversation. I guess it gives her some closure and that his last moments were so happy and thoughtful with the ones he loves. I don't know what else to say but that you have my deepest sympathy and you are in my thoughts..

    *Hugs*

    :bawl:
     
  19. Kittamaru Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Adieu, Sciforums. Valued Senior Member

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    It was very similar with my grandfather... who was more a father to me than my own dad... his passing was swift and painless, though true to character he lived another day and a half longer than the doctors estimated, even after being taken off life support - he didn't depart this world until his son, my uncle, made it up here from south carolina to say his final goodbyes... *smiles sadly* that was over two years ago now... and the pain... it never goes away... it never gets dulled. You simply learn to come to terms with it and accept it... to reflect on the wonderful times you had... *sighs* I am simply glad that he did not suffer, and I am glad to hear your father did not suffer either.

    Sci... Mac... the best advice I can give you is simply this - when you are ready, go to their gravesite with a loved one (for me it was my wife) and simply let them know you love them and miss them and tell them everything you may have wanted to say, both in life and in passing... let it all out. You will feel better afterward.
     
  20. Mrs.Lucysnow Valued Senior Member

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    Wow! Just wow. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I would be a mess. I'll keep you in my thoughts and I know it hasn't sunk in for you yet but when it does don't be afraid of the 'realness' of the moment, it can actually be a beautifully compassionate thing. Embrace it. Its what brings you closer to the fragility of humanity, something we occasionally sympathize with but rarely empathize.
     
  21. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    I don't know what to say, Mac, except that I'm sorry for your loss.
    I fear the day this will happen to me and how I will handle this..
    All the best to you and your mom in these difficult times.
     
  22. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks Enmos.
     
  23. kira Valued Senior Member

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    I am sorry for your loss, Mac. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayer.
     

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