# The mindset of one-upping

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by wegs, Jul 22, 2019.

1. ### SanchoBannedBanned

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Sancho expressed an opinion without even trying. theres no escaping it.

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3. ### wegsMatter & Pixie DustValued Senior Member

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How so? If envy motivates people to compete, are they striving to do their best, or just striving to look better than the one they envy?

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5. ### SeattleValued Senior Member

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Beating someone with a whip can be most productive in certain situations but that doesn't make it a good practice.

7. ### Quantum QuackLife's a tease...Valued Senior Member

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try,"I envy your ability to do your best, so I will try harder to learn how to do my best"
or "I want to learn that ability for myself"

Years ago I used to think, as you do , that envy is always a negative. It was in trying to understand why the Catholic Church considered Envy as a "deadly" sin. (one of seven)

I came to realize that with out envy, in a positive sense, the human world would cease to function.
So the sin of envy was more about a "Jealous God" who's main objective is to maintain human devotion and worship free of hedonism and earthly pursuits.

"Noting that envy was considered a sin but jealousy was not"

The music lyrics of an Australian Band, "Ego is not a dirty word" - Skyhooks 1975 led me to open my mind to the notion that "A healthy Ego" is essential for successful human functioning.

Healthy and moderate ID vanity, balanced with in a society, is most productive for both the individual and that society and is essential for a "dualistic" (me / you) universe.

Last edited: Jul 29, 2019
8. ### SeattleValued Senior Member

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Or just don't relabel "admire" as "positive envy" and the existing definition of "envy" still works.

9. ### dumbest man on earthReal Eyes Realize Real LiesValued Senior Member

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Hmmmm...David Dunning's and Justin Kruger's eponymous effect displayed on page after page after...

10. ### river

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Ego matters to all of us .

To both sexes .

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12. ### dumbest man on earthReal Eyes Realize Real LiesValued Senior Member

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Ahhh...but does Self Esteem, or the lack thereof?

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Go on .

14. ### dumbest man on earthReal Eyes Realize Real LiesValued Senior Member

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There is no need for me to do so.

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16. ### wegsMatter & Pixie DustValued Senior Member

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While I get where you're coming from, there will always be someone ''better'' than you...than me...than anyone here...at something. Maybe it's best to set goals for one's self, that seems reasonable and try to reach for them. Reaching for our neighbor's goals, really will leave us empty in the end.

Reach for your own happiness, not someone else's idea of it. Frankly, envy has a tendency to breed one-upping...always trying to out do someone else, in hopes we gain some praise that we imagine to deserve. If you're happy at pursuing your own goals, you won't really have time to envy others. Just my $.02 Last edited: Jul 29, 2019 Quantum Quack likes this. 17. ### SeattleValued Senior Member Messages: 5,926 18. ### Quantum QuackLife's a tease...Valued Senior Member Messages: 22,493 Oh .. I agree entirely with you$0.02 worth...given the depth of the inquiry.
Envy in common parlance is generally considered in the pejorative. No doubt about it... my mistake here is to delve too deeply and fail to consider the contextual depth of this discussion properly.

So yes, admiration and envy are totally different behaviors if one wishes to delve at that level...

Perhaps defining and understanding the word "admiration" and why we feel it, might be less controversial...

So why do we feel admiration for someone or something?

Is it mainly because we observe traits, abilities etc that we ourselves would wish for ourselves?

Last edited: Jul 29, 2019

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20. ### wegsMatter & Pixie DustValued Senior Member

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I look at it this way -- admiration tends to breed respect, while envy can lead to resentment. I'd suppose that admiration can lead to envy...which can lead to resentment. But, envy usually is linked with jealousy/resentment/an unfulfilled feeling within.

Two more pennies' worth.

21. ### Quantum QuackLife's a tease...Valued Senior Member

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In Eastern philosophy Admiration and Envy would be considered two extreme poles of motivating desire.

Envy being the negative form of admiration.

22. ### Quantum QuackLife's a tease...Valued Senior Member

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btw Envy and Jealousy
Can be differentiated by using the following statement.
"The man was envious of what the other man guarded jealously"

23. ### wegsMatter & Pixie DustValued Senior Member

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That makes a certain amount of sense, although I don't see a downside per se, with admiration. (I don't see it as part of a 'spectrum,' either.)

Can we envy someone's success for example, and that motivates us to work harder towards achieving success? Maybe. But, it still causes us to lose sight of ourselves, and fixate on someone else's ideas of success.

When we were kids, we had ''role models'' whom we looked up to...whom we admired. That feeling of respect and admiration can ignite a fire in us to want to ''be like them.'' But, that's not quite envy. Envy imo, causes resentment of another because of his/her good fortune. So, envy doesn't seem healthy, whereas admiration is seems ethical.

Have you ever been envious of someone, QQ?

Last edited: Jul 29, 2019