The mindset of one-upping

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by wegs, Jul 22, 2019.

  1. wegs With brave wings, she flies . . . Valued Senior Member

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    I've enjoyed coming back to SF, but I don't miss the one-upping or the know-it-all, condescension that is so pervasive on here. It's not just on here though, if we're honest. I see this behavior in the workplace, politics, even with some of my friends. Maybe the internet makes it much easier however, for people to look at others as opponents, I'm not quite sure.

    Is it a mindset, to want others to believe that you're the smartest person in the room? Is it healthy to act like this? I don't think it is.

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    If you're the smartest person in the room, you should find a new room. - Unknown author


     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
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  3. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    doesnt that prove the point that you need to be constantly asserting your superiority if you need to find a new room because you are the smartest ?

    fyi ive been in a room where there has been the odd person with an intellect that makes the other people look like house hold pets intellectually... and no one could really tell.
    they dont go about rubbing it in peoples faces or attempting to prove it.
     
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  5. Seattle Valued Senior Member

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    That's not the intended meaning to be taken from that quote.

    It's more like the Groucho Marx quote that goes something like "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would have me".

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    If you've the smartest person in the room, maybe you need to get out more.
     
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  7. wegs With brave wings, she flies . . . Valued Senior Member

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    Exactly, Rainbow.

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    What is that about, really.

    It's something I've noticed on all science forums, not just this one, and when I left this one a few years ago, I left the other one, too. It's weird, it wasn't a conscious effort, it just faded away...

    One day, I remembered this site, and lurked for a few weeks. Saw some familiar names and thought I'd post again. That was my first mistake. lol

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  8. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    Great Topic!

    Now the first thing that comes to mind, is that by mentioning it as a "great topic" am I being condescending, demonstrating my ability to comprehend the issues you refer to, or am I simply stating my opinion openly and genuinely congratulating you on raising this important self esteem issue?

    The answer usually depends on how a person fears for their self esteem, especially if that self esteem is so heavily dependent on the esteem of others.

    Reading up on the "inferiority complex" may be worth while...

    Say for example Richard Feynman decides to become a sciforums member but uses a pseudonym and takes full advantage of net anonymity, how is he to post with out immediately threatening the investment others have in their beliefs and knowledge about physics?
     
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  9. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    I am really glad that you have come back as your humble but astute approach to communication is a welcome relief from the point scoring that seems to be in plague proportions.
     
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  10. wegs With brave wings, she flies . . . Valued Senior Member

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    I'm gonna go with ''congratulating'' me. lol

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    I don't consider you to be a one-upper, by the way. (for what it's worth) I'd say that the one-uppers or know-it-alls are the insecure ones, but then again, are they just
    "keyboard warriors,'' so to speak? Hard to say, but either way, I'm kind of over it.

    Okay.

    lol Good question.

    Well, if you're confident in your knowledge, you won't resort to one-upping. One-upping from what I can tell, comes from a place of needing to prove one's self, and a one-upper rarely concedes to perhaps, being...*gasp*...wrong.
     
  11. wegs With brave wings, she flies . . . Valued Senior Member

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    Point scoring, ah...that's an even better phrase. I should have consulted you before choosing my thread title. lol

    And, thanks. That made me smile. I have been feeling like the ''odd girl out'' lately, so...that is nice to know.

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  12. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    ok
    boots n all ?
    2 things.. maybe 3 or more...
    1 people assert a sense of self to their current position to assert a sense of well being
    a vast majority of people are raised to find self attainment and self worth in being above another person(capitalism in this case)
    the sense of life entropy means time moves forward, all things die
    except the Ego
    the Ego must always sacrifice others on its bloody alter to remain fresh and clean and number 1

    it is all about how people raise the mind of their child.
    be it blind obedience tot he church/cult/fascist-dictator
    lust/greed/lack of self worth etc...

    people can change, they do often, but humans live in a biological frame work that requires the constant need to assert a domination process over other living organisms.
    humans must kill other life forms to survive
    most people can not morally or ethically resolve this issue so they have all sorts of broken wobbly legs supporting all sorts of broken wobbly morals.
    (i ran out of energy and had to stop thinking it was getting sad)
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
  13. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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  14. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    that's an interesting comment....
    For ego health it is important to learn how sacrifice your own ego ( admit mistakes, humility etc) and not the ego of others as that is their problem...
    ( I realize that you probably already know this but I thought it was worth pointing out any how)
     
  15. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks

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    Keeping in mind most people have absolutely no idea what i am talking about.

    what the average person considers their ego, and what some others consider "an Ego" is not the same as what i mean by "The Ego".

    ... when your Ego needs a pile of rotting bodys to sit on to feel powerful, you may not enjoy the view for very long.

    "Sacrificing the Ego" i would list as a more specialised subject
    like giving a child a space ship to mow the lawn with
     
  16. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    Many of us are not blessed with great communication skills, and some of those who are, are not blessed with an ordinary physical or mental health either. Many struggle just to function.
    "To see a child with out legs crawl valiantly to use a toilet can be the most humbling of experiences..."

    Vanity and Pride are cardinal issues even if you are not a Catholic.
     
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  17. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    Given an opportunity to learn

    Given the opportunity to feel superior

    Given

    "if you want something in this world, you have to GO OUT THERE & TAKE IT!"
    "no one is just going to hand it to you"

    ... The Gift of Giving ...
     
  18. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    One of my greatest passions ( over 30 years of active observation) is the study and research into human behavior...for over 12 years being a member here at sciforums has provided enormous insight.
    The stats I mentally keep on "Admission of error", "Apologies" for being mistaken and misleading or hurtful posting, are very telling....

    For example:
    I could state very easily that the current understanding of physics, while having enormous utility is fundamentally flawed, and show why and even if I was found to be valid would be condemned sometimes violently, for stating so.
    Not one of those persons aggressively propping up their vanity will apologize or admit to any mistakes.

    So I don't express my self as I would like to, like an abused child who feels his creative input is "damaging" and shuts down simply because there is no gain in speaking or demonstrating the truth. An "Emperor has no clothes on" situation....after getting whacked a few time you just simply stay quiet.


    Being burned at the stake called "Heracy"...
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2019
  19. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    Dakini oracle - Contemporary perspective utilizing Eastern philosophical conceptualizations and imagery.
    Focus on "Slaying the Ego" as the only way to the truth... because the ego is in fact the true deceiver....
     
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  20. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    not being "of an Ego" to "be - 'Ego'...

    instead, being "The Ego" which requires entropy of human superiority to feel a sense of self worth.
    when the self worth has been built around the self being valued only in comparrison to others, rather than against its self.

    this is a construction issue(mowing the lawn) as opposed to an issue developing the self(mowing the lawn with a space ship) where the Ego may come into conflict with something presenting its own wall to prevent progress(flying the space ship).

    wegs jacked threads jacked wegs threads jacked wegsly
     
  21. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    a stake in whats good can be a steak too far
    everyone followed Hitler
    everyone followed Kennedy into war
    everyone followed Oprah into therapy
    everyone followed trump on TV

    if the lemmings are about to run off the cliff & if you kill half of them in front of the others you can save half of them.
    do you save the half of the lemmings or let them all die (thats not a question thats a statement of the hypocrisy's & difficulties of life as we know it)

    life is strange cruel & beautiful
     
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  22. Quantum Quack Life's a tease... Valued Senior Member

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    Intelligence is over rated. It is wisdom that counts the most imo
     
  23. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

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    Neat
    I would go with

    If you think you are the smartest person you probably are not and you should stay out of rooms

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