Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Well, I don't read Russian, so I have no idea if she's giving instructions, or telling a story, or whatnot. So ... click!
Source: SeattleTimes.com Link: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004016082_webrepo15m.html Title: "Children get repo'ed when vehicle taken in Spokane", via AP Date: November 15, 2007 Part of me really wants this guy to sue. I mean, does E&O cover this sort of thing? Or is this one of those things where you fall behind on your truck payment, so they get to steal your kids?
Self-defense Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer Link: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/341112_draggingdeath26.html?source=mypi Title: "Student at Eastern dragged to death behind pickup", by Associated Press Date: November 25, 2007 A most interesting form of self-defense: Seriously. I can only wonder what the detail will be?
Equal opportunity tasing No ... freakin' ... way .... Your (Kansas) police in action The only preface I can give is that sometimes we greatly appreciate our sacrificial lambs. Really, if I had written this as fiction, nobody would publish it. Mr. Williams is apparently unhurt, and the Wichita Police Department, while embarrassed, is still trying to justify itself. According to KWCH 12 television, "Police say the shooting call came from a cell phone but they still don't know who made it or why." ____________________ Notes: Schwanke, Michael. "Hearing Impaired Man Tased by Police". KWCH.com. December 3, 2007. See http://www.kwch.com/global/story.asp?s=7446220
What the hell were you thinking? Will his friends ever let him live it down? (Subject matter warning: Stop reading now!) First, advice from columnist and The Stranger editor Dan Savage: And what, pray tell, is he referring to? This news, from across The Pond: Sounds like great advice. For all their simplicity, cockrings aren't simple toys. Except that, while Dan's advice makes for a great blog entry, he may be fostering erroneous perceptions about cockrings. Again, from the BBC: Wh—what?! Dude! See, my first question, on reading the story, was to wonder how he managed to get the thing stuck. Now I think I understand. Was there a hard angle on that thing? Did he not grind away the rough edges? Was the thing stuck because it would shred the flesh if removed directly? Seriously ... how is he going to show his face at the pub?
Thanks, Dan Thanks, Dan .... Dan Savage offers us this blast from the past. April, 1971, to be exact: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Ah, nostalgia. Thanks, Dan.
Meat Magnet Kate Stuck Six Years Later Meat Magnet Kate Stuck (Again) Six Years Later "Hot Tipper" gets improbable meaty repeat on Interstate 5 It's just a random coincidence. David Schmader explains what makes it so cool: And then, out of nowhere ..., Poor girl. She's such a trooper.
Dubious Acknowledgment You know you're famous when .... You know you're famous, that you've made it, that you've earned a place in the cultural consciousness, when a Canadian judge invokes your work during a sexual assault trial. Columnist Dan Savage, for his part, hasn't made much comment, other than acknowledging the judge's remark.
Panties, panties, panties Panties, Panties, Panties! What? How many times do you get to write a headline like that? Okay, so ... right. Straight to the detail: ____________________ Notes: Associated Press. "WA man sentenced for theft of 93 pounds of women's undergarments". SeattleTimes.com. January 22, 2008. See http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004137936_apwabrfunderwearthief22.html
Hot damn! Sexy Is .... Sing it with me: "How dirty can you get? (Oooh, yeah!)" Erica C. Barnett brings us this amazing blast from the past: Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Tiger Beat, ca. 1976 (Via Slog)
Source: Telegraph Online Link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/24/wdwarf124.xml Title: "Dwarves zipped in suitcases steal from Swedes", by Lucy Cockcroft Date: January 24, 2008 Since there's really nothing I could write that would top that headline, let's just skip to the detail, shall we?
Peek-a-freakin'-boo! Source: SeattleTimes.com Link: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004147717_stungun27.html Title: "Man who used stun gun on toddler gets 46 months", by Associated Press Date: January 27, 2008 Part of me wants to just say, "It's Oregon", and move on. Doesn't help. Right. Okay. For the record, you did not read that wrongly. Unless, of course, you did. But, yes, it does say a man struck a plea bargain, receiving forty-six months after shocking his eighteen month-old son with a stun gun. And here's the thing: it gets even stranger. Wha-huh-what? How does that even begin to make sense? And you want to know what else? It gets stranger still: That's right. Apparently, using a 30,000-volt stun gun to play peekaboo with a toddler fell somewhere in the realm of the plausible and acceptable for the mother. It actually required a second incident the next month before she took the kid out of the house and called police. Apparently, even the DHS caseworker is shaken by this one. Now ... it couldn't possibly get any stranger, right? Well, right. It transcends the strange. Goes straight to stupid. Do not pass "Go", do not collect ... oh, never mind. So, let me get this straight. Your client is innocent, but you advised him to plead out, anyway? I would say, "Only in Oregon," and take some sort of obscure, perhaps abject comfort in that, except it's probably not true. You know, Albany used to be—and maybe it still is—a heavy meth-production town. That might explain a few things, but it's purely speculative. And it won't make you feel any better to write this one off as such.
Good question ... er ... yeah. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Image by Shapefarm, via Slog.
Chicago Goes Invisible Chicago Goes Invisible Invisible ink, that is. Well, sort of. Shall we write it up as just one of those things? ____________________ Notes: Sweeney, Annie. "Staffers try to reach 20 who thought they'd voted". SunTimes.com. February 6, 2008. See http://www.suntimes.com/news/elections/779528,CST-NWS-magic06.article
The Miner Forty-Niner Because it's less depressing than the hit-and-run story Really. ____________________ Notes: Schmader, David. "Last Days". The Stranger. February 27, 2008. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=521980
Smoke on, Whitney How To Not Write A Headline About Tragedy Seattle Times: "Everett boy dies after sandbox accident" It's even the first sentence of the article: "A 10-year-old Everett boy has died in a Seattle hospital after an accident in a sandbox." Do the English use similar colloquialisms and euphemisms? Or is this only perversely funny to someone raised in the northwestern United States? At any rate, the story is a tragedy: Oh, for .... Okay, if I'm reading the URL correctly, this article has been rewritten once already: • 2004273523_apwaboyburied2ndldwritethru.htmlObviously, there are more details to come. Whatever. Blame a cartoon. So it's not sadistic, fine. But who the hell raised these kids to be so goddamned stupid? Whitney Houston once sang, "I believe the children are our future". No wonder she took up a crack habit. _____________________ Notes: "Everett boy dies after sandbox accident". SeattleTimes.com. March 10, 2008. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004273523_apwaboyburied2ndldwritethru.html
Tiassa have you ever seen a movie called Idocrasy? It shows what will happen if we keep selecting AGAINST people of inteligence in our procriationPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! The president of the US ends up being a prowrestler and the guy who was a dumbass grunt in the army and a prostitute end up being the 2 smartest people on earth. The guy gets tried for not having a barcode and his lawyer (who is SURPOSED to be defending him) gets up and makes a ridiculas argument that the defendent (his cliant) said something or other and that means he is guilty. The cops are all mental retards as are congress (ok the last one maybe no changePlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!)
Tragic toilet time? Source: MSNBC.com Link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/ Title: "Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years", by Associated Press Date: March 12, 2008 It has happened again. Sort of. Three and a half years ago, The Menagerie encountered the sad tale of a six hundred pound woman who, having spent at least two years sitting on her couch, needed to be surgically extricated from it. This week, the Associated Press reports that a 35 year-old Kansas woman apparently sat on her boyfriend's toilet for over two years, and needed to be surgically extricated from it. According to the AP, the woman has refused to cooperate with medical personnel and police investigators, and local authorities have stated that they did not know whether she was mentally or physically disabled.
