Discussion in 'About the Members' started by Avatar, Aug 31, 2004.
Silly but passionate poetic irony . . . its not for everyone.
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members on the devil path? Well here is my blog on last night. I think it suits this thread.
yesterday's night out. I was invited to dinner party at the argentinean lesbian. That was an extremely boring party. I didn't realize that her other friends were so boring. I was sitting there with my drinking buddy looking in amazement to how boring people can be. Once in a while i launched an attack of my weird humour. My drinking buddy had to control himself not to laugh, but the other people had a blank stare on their faces and felt rather uncomfortable. I was happy to go on a smoke brake on the balcony despite the fact that I don't smoke.
Actually one girl (the fucking owner of the flat) she left at omne point to return a book to her ex a few flats downstairs. She never came back. My argentinean friend was puzzled by this behaviour. She was supposed to be her friend. I told her in the kitchen that this german bitch could fuck off. Those kind of people that leave a fucking farewell party to return a book to someone else are not really your friends. But she has too much of a conscience. At that point we decided we should go to a strip club.
I actually never been to a strip club in finland. The place was rather empty for a saturday night. And suprisingly there were more women than men almost. i wondered why. My friend helped my out by detroying my innocent naiviety. They were russian prostitutes. Then it made sense. they certainly looked like russian prostitutes...well...what I think they would look like.
I thought the strippers would be ugly. I had to walk past a strip club in germany every day and there they had pictures of the strippers posted outside. I thought that was really stupid, because they were all very unattractive.
So I thought FUCK ME, when the first girl appeared. She was looking fucking hot...really fucking hot. So I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Afterwards she came past to collect money. My friend explained that you don't have to give them money if you don't want to. There were mostly middle aged men there. They were giving fucking 20 euro bills. For that they got a hug. I'm not fucking that desperate. I didn't give anything. She gave me a look of disgust...another cheap Fin is what she probably thought.
The fucking german girl had come to the strip club too. Apparently she was done with returning the book. And she was with her ex. It was good that she didn't talk to me, because I would have told her what I think of her. She was more interested in getting into her ex. I thought that was ok. These two losers deserve each other.
The next stripper was even better than the first one. Actually she came to the table...tried to get money...I didn't give anything...she looked angry at me...she then went to the german guy...he looked helpless. He looked at fucking me. ... I then for some reason whipped out a 10 euro bill. Held it in the air...and the girl came back quickly. Apparently I was allowed to kiss her belly for that kind of money, but I never heard what she was saying. I jussed shoved it in her underwear. After she left my drinking buddy was going like: OOOHHH...why didn't you fucking kiss her belly!??!?!? Well, I didn't fucking hear. Stranegely enough I didn't feel bad about giving her so much money, because actually I had a huge amount of relative fun doing it.
At that point my drinking buddy left with the argentinean girl. Only the german exes were left. i wasn't interested in them. They left soon later. So I was left to my own devices.
I wandered around a bit. Some russian prostitutes clamped on to me. They wanted me to buy them a tequila. I basically told them that I am an asshole and have no intention of buying them anything. One got slightly physical after that in the sense that she started pinching me very hard. They thried hard to buy them a drink. I laughed at them.
I went back to the shows. The shit was that there were of course no non-prostitutes there. So nobody to flirt with. Just enjoyed the shows then.
I went passed the russian prostitutes then because I needed another beer. They tried again. I told them to fuck off again. They started the stupid lines like, where are you from...etc. That kinf of bullshit. I just asked then 'How much is it?'. They didn't like that ...I thought it was funny. Why would I need to flirt with a prostitute and buy her drinks? I can just as well go to a regular bar then. I then excused myself by saying that I would now let the queue of other men lining up behind me have a go at them. Of course, nobody was fucking interested in those 2, because they were not even particulalry attarctive. Not at all actually.
The last strip show was good. It was the same girl again as I had given 10 euro earlier. The place was rather empty by now. We had a little chat because I gave her another 5 euro. Git a few hugs for that even. The other people didn't even get that for 20. In fact...they weren't even allowed to kiss her belly for 20. It is all pathetic. Learned she was from the ukraine. Said goodbye, wished her a nice evening...she did the same. 4AM time to go home and fall in a comatose sleep. Which I did.
And on friday I had a sauna party. That was also on the devils path.
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You have a cool life, spuriousmonkey! I wish I were you, so MY life would be interesting. But then I would have to learn Finnish.
I don't speak Finnish.
( a bit but I don't bother to do so)
Actually, I just had my mother on the phone, because I had to book her a trip to helsinki online because she is coming here for my thesis defense. I told her about my night in the strip club and she was very amused. My mother is much cooler than I am in my opinion.
And friday my brother had called me during the sauna party because he needed some information from me (what I want to eat at his wedding). he had told my mother that I was piss drunk on the phone ( i was). She didn't mind even tough my father was a drunk.
It is all rather strange because everybody in my family sphere now has a proper life (job, car, home, children, dog) except me. I am a bit the bum of the family except one cousin who disappeared of the face of the world after being heavily involved in the drugs scene. He still hasn't surfaced yet.
Although I don't have a proper life they always want to know what happens to me. Apparently my sister even uses this information to amuse her colleagues at work! it is fucking surreal.
The same thing at work. I am the entertainment system for some of my colleagues because I always have women problems or other problems, or get into trouble, or do stupid things.
The shit is that I enjoy this attention. And that is probably unhealthy.
"Nope. Bob from the Church of the Subgenius. Wonderful group!"
i remember worshipping bob at some stage, i remember, the true name of Allah is Bob! or was it Jim?
anyhoo, i was once slightly on the devils path - 666, arent i proud
Mmh, I think it was Jim.
Somehow I can understand Spurious, my sister and brother are also married, have kids and all that stuff. A regular work and so on.
I have none of that, I am also the only one who is getting seriously drunk now and then and does crazy things. I have to say that my family is quite boring most of the time...
Life of a single guy isn't always interesting. Let's go through my last night:
Ok...big thesis defense party of my chines colleague:
was a shite evening basically.
I was sitting next to the blondes of the lab. That was good. But once they are together they turn into typical 'girls together kind fo girls'. That is too much.
Food was shite chinese food and everybody said it was good. Why do they lie? Dunno. hardly ate.
Concentrated on drinking instead.
Then the speeches came. Couldn't hear anything. Started sending text messages to my friend. Girl next to me got annoyed, but that wasn't bad because it was more the playful annoyed.
Concentrated on emptying the bottle of wine on the table. That was good because they brought another one.
Speeches finally ended, which was good because they all said how good she was. But these people also told that the food was great.
I then started going around every table and talking to everybody in sequence to their seating arangement. That was fun actually because I was drunk and didn't give a shite about anything.
Fortuntaly the party ended before I reached the main table with boss and other important people. God was merciful.
The ladies and other people went to Da club.
I went to see my friends.
I was stupid enough to convince them to go to Da club too.
It turned out to be a meat bar for young people. The women looked good, but at least 10 to 14 years younger. That depressed me. The drinks were shite there too and you have to queue 20 minutes to get this shite drink.
We left early. Left my colleague girls to themselves. Oy yes, wait, one of them slapped me hard in the face, twice. She must love me.
Went to other bar. Passed a stripclub. Managed to control myself not to go in. I'm so good.
Was sleezy bar. Much better now. Had drinks with limited amount of friends. Got one of them really drunk because apparently 2 shorts in a row on top of a shit load of beer was too much for him. He disappeared. later learned that he had gone home out of survival instinct.
Some other colleagues arrived. They wanted to play pool there, but no tables were free. They left after a while. Not the desperate drinking types.
I started talking to girl. I actually didn't try to sell myself but starting advertising how good my best friend is. Unfortunately my friends had decided to leave before I could deliver my final sales pitch.
Went to other bar. Was piss drunk. Made lots of noise in the queue. Got in..drank some more. No women responded.
Bar closed at 4.
Walked around. Party was reduced now to 3 people.
Ended up in McDonalds. I hate McDonalds. Ordered BigMac menu anyway. Because I was piss drunk.
Annoyed a guy with grey suite and yellow tie. Because I had pink tie. He had troubles with that. He was one of those aggressive types. Ignored him.
Another guy was then of the opinion that we talked too loud and said that he would smash our heads against the wall.
That proved that junk food is not good for your mental health. Left.
Last bus had gone already.
Had to take a taxi home.
shite evening weren't from the fact that I was piss drunk.
Hoorah to king alcohol.
Live of a single guy.
Well, quite evolutionary indeed............ 4444=Grim Reaper...
222 = The Jackhammer Jesus
Looks like a vibrator.
edit - ah ja...just a dildo...I'm so naive sometimes.
Well, you know - those preachers are always saying "Be FILLED with the power of GeeeZHuuuus! . . . . FeeeeL the LaaaaWWWWddd *Inside* you! Glory! Praise!"
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I actually made up little stickers with pictures of the Jackhammer Jesus on them and below it says "Be FILLED with the Lord!" -- I leave them around town in strategic places. It greatly offends only those people who I want to see offended, and makes everybody else chuckle.
^^ id do that it i could be bothered.
but im too lazy, so i just laugh at people from the comfort of my own home.
my tetris score on my phone is 666, and my 2nd highest is 606 (according to some freaks the REAL devils number) im proud
Its much more fun though for people to *know* you are laughing at them. I almost get orgasmic with joy at seeing their faces get red with fury!
wow, nice Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
can you scan and share the sticker with us? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
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