Straight with an asterisk? Heterosexual with issues? Straight with an asterisk? Tell you, what, since there's always someone to complain that I post too many words, I'll just leave the links for the willing. You know, so as not to oppress those who have complained in the past of being forced to read my posts. The interview: Gold, Maeta. "Q&A With Ted Haggard". Show Tracker. January 27, 2009. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2009/01/q-a-with-ted-ha.html And the commentary: Savage, Ted. "Ted Haggard Puts His Penis In His Wife Way More Often Than You Put Your Penis In Your Wife". Slog. January 28, 2009. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2009/01/28/ted_haggard_puts_his_penis_in And the excerpts: Q: So do you think of yourself as homosexual or bisexual? How do you identify yourself? A: What my therapist says is that I am a heterosexual with issues, and I think that’s accurate. Q: Have you been attracted to people of the same sex all your life? A: Yes, I have. But not to the exclusion of women. I think women are beautiful and I’m attracted to women, and I have thoroughly enjoyed my relationship with my wife. And according to the national statistics, our relationship is more vibrant than average heterosexual monogamous couples. And so it is confusing and complex. I think -- I believe sexuality, at least for me, is confusing and complex. But I am grateful that I am now to a place where I’m able make decisions and walk them through. Where for a long time I would try to make decisions and I’d pray about them and I’d fast and I’d memorize scripture and I really wanted to be a virtuous, wonderful man, but I had to fight hard to be a man of integrity. Where now it’s much easier. (Gold) • • • Attracted to men, sure, all his life. Not to the exclusion of women though—but he's not, you know, bisexual. Just another of those heterosexual men with "issues" that you'll find all over Craigslist looking for gay men without "standards." You would think that the LA Times reporter would confront Haggard on this: attracted to men and women = bisexual, it does not equal straight-with-an-asterisk. But whatever. I'm sure I speak for all Americans when I say I'm just happy to know that Mrs. Haggard is getting nailed more frequently and more vibrantly than the average married American woman—and she's getting it more monogamously these days too. I've been concerned about Mrs. Haggard's sexual needs not getting met. Now I don't need to worry anymore. Thanks, Ted. (Savage) So there you go.