Groucho (whacking his slapstick, a pair of barrel staves) Patsy Brannigan, no more shenanigans! You will stand up and give the alphabet. Harpo (scratching his head, thinking hard) The alphabet - the alphabet - Gimme a start, teacher. Groucho (glares at Harpo, nose-to-nose) All right, dumkopf, I'll give you a start. "Ah - ah - ah - " Harpo Ah! Groucho Not "Ah" - "A!" Harpo (heading for his seat) That's the alphabet - "A." Groucho That's not the alphabet. Come back here. Harpo There's more? Groucho There's more. Please continue. Harpo Gimme another start. Groucho "Buh - buh - buh - " Harpo "Buh?" Groucho "Buh." Harpo "Buh?" Groucho "Buh." Harpo "Buh?" (During this exchange they have sunk, nose-to-nose, nearly to the floor.) Groucho Not "Buh," dumkopf! Harpo Give me a hint. Groucho What is it buzzes around the flowers? Bzzzzz? (Harpo starts waving and slapping at invisible bug) "Bee!" Harpo "Bee!" That's the alphabet - "A, B."(heads for his seat) Groucho Come back here, young man.That's not the alphabet. Harpo There's more? Gimme a hint what comes after B. Groucho I'll give you a hint. What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Ssssssssss - (Harpo gives Groucho a shocked, pop-eyed look.) "C", dumkopf! The first thing you do in the morning when you wake up is "see". Harpo That's not the first thing I do in the morning. Groucho ends the hopeless lesson with a crack of the slapstick.