The alpha male

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by birch, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. origin In a democracy you deserve the leaders you elect. Valued Senior Member

    Agreed. Relationships like life has its ups and downs. Sometimes relationships go down the tubes and they end, but it is mistake IMO to jump out too soon...
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement

    to hide all adverts.
  3. birch Valued Senior Member

    You are right. Its that easy. I can just order that off amazon or walk outside and it happens everyday like going to mcdonalds an ordering up my soulmate/partner or a big mac.
  4. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement

    to hide all adverts.
  5. billvon Valued Senior Member

    It's not easy. It's often very hard and takes years (or decades.) But the first step in that long journey is knowing yourself and what you want.
  6. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement

    to hide all adverts.
  7. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Know Thyself(really ancient stuff that lies at the root of most philosophies)

    Personal intelligence opens a privileged window into our own minds as well as into the motivations of others
  8. birch Valued Senior Member

    People can get the wrong idea. Real life connections arent based only on a certain type. You dont connect with or even notice or even care if someone appears to be an attractive player just because they are this or that type, kind or whatever. There are all kinds of attractive looking people you feel absolutely nothing for and their looks alone dont attract you either. you just both know like a mutual pact you were looking for eachother or the experience is that way. Its the ones YOU connect with period. Its very personal, feels fated like you know eachother before you were born etc. Significant people are different than just people you find attractive superficially, work with, get along with etc.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
  9. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    The basic sense of the word "shallow," as applied to water, is "not deep." To use it metaphorically for people is to suggest that they, too are "not deep." A shallow person is one who is not much of a thinker, who doesn't consider the long-term consequences of his decisions, who goes through life at a superficial level, who misses out on many of the kinds of experiences that make the rest of us a little "deeper."
    The phrase "alpha male" was coined by biologists and it has a fairly well-defined meaning. It applies only to animal species that:
    • 1. Are social and live in groups--from a wolf pack with only a dozen or so members, to a 19th-century bison herd of hundreds, and
    • 2. Have some sort of social hierarchy with a single leader--from the lead cow of a herbivore herd, who can find water better than anyone else and doesn't care if some of the members wander off in a different direction, to the leader of a pack of gorillas who kicks the younger males out when they reach puberty and keeps all the females for himself... until he gets so old that one of the younger ones can finally depose him.
    It has nothing to do with beauty! Beauty has very little to do with survival.
    I'm 72 and I've never been unfaithful. My first wife, on the other hand...

    I'm now on my third marriage, but the demise of the second one had nothing to do with infidelity. My career kept me a long way from home, with only short visits, and we simply grew apart.
    There are plenty of faithful women. In my observation, women are slightly less likely to commit adultery than men.
    Indeed. It was first written in Ancient Greek: γνῶθι σεαυτόν, "gnothi seauton." It is one of the Delphic maxims and is inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo, which was built around 400BCE.
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

    Maybe you are mistaken and what fit you was just easier to find.

    I do know what i want but its not that common with the usual 'does not usually come prepackaged in this combo' dilemma with contradictory characteristics. Or, its not just a certain type of man with the faithful accessory im looking for. Doesnt quite work that way if i may not even love that person. Im not looking for a car, house, toaster, object but the one i love.
  11. birch Valued Senior Member

    If you believe so.
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

    Who is the 'rest of us'?

    There is a difference between the truth and how we define parameters to flatter or confirm our standards.

    Just to play the devils advocate; people who go through life doing nothing but what one is told, always considering safety foremost (theirs just like everyone does) and whatever is acceptable thought and action for the sake of status or acceptance is not only a coward but also following the herd and therefore 'shallow'. How could they not be? They dont even know themselves any better beyond being shaped by societal mores than the proverbial rebel. At least the rebel has the depth to want to find out for themselves, even if the wont have the protection or approval, not that i advocate rebellion for its own sake or its always wise. What? You thought 'shallow' only applied to your group think/standard?

    What appears as impulse control could be pretense or denial in favor of another outcome. Well, it is. Who cant do this? It all depends on what we want. Maybe another is not suppressing in an area that you would because they have a different purpose. The standards then dont even apply to eachother. To know what is shallow, one has to know what the intended objective is. Since we all make sacrifices for personal gain ( even if the target wildly varies from person to person), shallow is a moot point or everyone is shallow. Right? Otherwise its just prejudice like equating one who plays violin is less shallow than one who wants to play the drums.

    The only area where shallow vs deep really applies since this is more in line with character choices would be philanthropy or altruism or choices for the greater good.

    So no, a trifling or even great personal sacrifice or patience (its strength not technically depth) for another personal gain is not more or less shallow than anothers, because inherently its all intended purpose is selfish; personal benefit and gain, however the individual defines it.

    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
  13. billvon Valued Senior Member

    Took me over a decade so I wouldn't call that easy - but that's different for everyone. Luck, of course, also plays a part.
    Well, OK. From above it sounds like you are saying "this is the type I want, but they are never faithful - and I want them to be faithful." If I misunderstood, then my bad.
  14. billvon Valued Senior Member

    Or they could be making their own way, and deciding to take the difficult rather than the easy path, and are therefore courageous - even if others in their lives wanted to do that anyway. And they could be doing this with careful consideration of everything that goes into such a decision - and therefore deep.

    A single life decision (or even several of them) does not make one shallow or deep. It is how one approaches decisions and life in general. Does someone pursue images instead of people for mates? Does someone go with the good-looking politician over the politician whose policies are the best, long-term, for the people they will govern? Does someone prefer movies that make them think over flashy insubstantial action movies? All those go into whether someone is shallow. (Most people are a mix of such decisions.)

    Some "rebels" are doing nothing more than wearing a uniform of nonconformity. That goth chick who gets the same piercings as her goth friends may be the coward, doing nothing more than what she has to do to fit in with her chosen friends. And that guy who is going to medical school may be the one with the courage, willing to trade fun with his friends for long nights on call. Again, it depends on the person.

    Some do, some don't think at all. (Same for the people going to medical school.)

    Absolutely. However, (real) impulse control is a necessary prerequisite for avoiding being shallow.
    That sort of reductionism can be used to nullify the good (or bad) in anything. Someone who dedicates their life to helping the poor? They just do it to feel good; they are no better morally than a pedophile.

    I don't buy that sort of reductionism. Morality, no matter how you define it, is quantifiable.
  15. birch Valued Senior Member

    Well, maybe i do need that plus a characteristic not commonly found in that type. So what? If the one loves me enough, he will. So either i settle or i choose to be alone and i choose to be alone even if i never find the one. Thats my choice.
  16. billvon Valued Senior Member

    So nothing! If that's what you are looking for, then go after it.
    HUGE mistake there. His love will not change him. Almost all relationships that begin with the idea that "well, he/she is this way, but I will change them and then we will be happy" or "well, if he/she loves me, then here's how they will change" fail.
    There are two aspects to the issue.

    One, deciding what you want - what you can live with, what you can't, and how to communicate that. That's critical.

    Two, becoming who you are, and then being true to yourself. There are far too many people who decide they are too fat/dumb/unattractive/Jewish/short etc and thus they will never meet X. And that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because no one wants someone who is presenting a fake front to get what they want. Do what you love and do it well - that attracts far more people than any false front one could come up with. (Not saying you have an issue here with this; I have no idea. I've seen people overlook this side of the equation a lot though.)

    Also I would note that there's nothing wrong with short term relationships. They can be a lot of fun, even if they are not the person you want to be with forever. (As long as both people go into it with eyes open, of course.)
  17. birch Valued Senior Member

    Well, its not that im not aware of these tangent points and scenarios but those were not the points i was making. Of course their are rebels just to be so or responsible, intelligent, good people who tow the usual line and not just for shallow status or respect. But these points are well- established and known. But not all rebels are shallow and not all who tow the line are deep, just by some default definition or just because someone falls in a certain social spectrum. Duh?

    We can just keep expounding on the subject though i disagree with your view of a sinister selfish gratification angle of altruism. I dont think thats always or even usually the case.

    As for deep vs shallow, i was just addressing a point.

    The point being it cant always be known just by ones actions but by motivation. The actions can be the same and the qualifiers different.

    For example, a woman who cares little to nothing about looks but favors security does not literally mean she has more depth or is more loving. It simply is something she just may not care about. Deep/shallow: moot. However, if one loves another 'despite' their looks because of inner qualities, that is of course depth.

    Even depth is not one -dimensional. One can be deeply evil or good. Deeply loving or hateful. It can be used for good or evil. Its value is based on its characteristics, not just its power.

    But we already know all this. Gee
  18. birch Valued Senior Member

    Uh no, I dont need to settle because of looks. I dont want to settle for an unhappy relationship.
  19. billvon Valued Senior Member

    Of course. "Deepness" vs. "shallowness" is largely orthogonal to degree of (perceived) rebelliousness.
    I was arguing against that view. (That view has been expounded several times here; I disagree with it.)
    Well, good - then don't.
  20. birch Valued Senior Member

    I understand that trading or jeopardizing long-term love for a short-term fleeting one is foolish, unwise and immature.

    But i would only apply this to those who are already in a relatively good one. I also know that no relationship can remain in overdrive or passion as in the beginning. The relationship will have to come back down to earth and grow in sustainable love and respect.

    But if you are single, it doesnt apply because you dont meet people you are really into everyday or that often.
  21. birch Valued Senior Member


    oh dear lord, he is so fine. one in a million or at least hundreds if not thousands type.

    this is outside the stadium after one of his concerts in jacksonville. he is so down to earth and fun too.

    i think he is the king of r&b, besides devante swing as far as bands, at least this generation. yeah, a lot of artists may be able to sing some but they are more followers than leaders and have many others producing and writing their music. they don't have the real deep raw talent, vision and creativity that make them tops. missy elliott was another one who was ingenius too and she produces for others now and don't see much of her either. no one has come along yet to surpass their talent and abilities thus far. he is so talented, anything he writes or produces even for others is dope, fresh and unique.
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
  22. SereneCalm Registered Member

    OH, I was thinking of the Alpha and the Omega which is God. LOL
  23. birch Valued Senior Member


    you can read what every 'ok' means by the tone. that said, i think that guy that walks in the door is just ok, not in the way jordan peele said ok as in she understands why she was putting up with it after seeing him.

    evidently, there must be those who think he is more attractive than most since he was picked for this skit, if we are just going by physical looks but i don't think so and there are other women who wouldn't either. it is awful to put up with this atrocious level of immoral behavior from anyone but there are women who do that. even for men who are terrible people and unattractive too.

    however, i think peele is attractive because of his personality and i think he is adorable. that's the one with the blonde wig and he's not even conventionally attractive.

    this proves everyone has different tastes. there is no one size fits all for everyone.
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2017

Share This Page