The alpha male

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by birch, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. zgmc Registered Senior Member

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    Mindset of the people involved in the interaction.

    Are we asking if there is a genetic aspect to this? Or is it simply social?
     
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  3. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    It's not an image thing. Alpha males need to be the king of the castle, not look like they're king of the castle.
    People who wave money and property to suggest they're kings of a castle are poseurs.
     
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  5. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Can a man still be an alpha male if society refuses to allow it? You can be as tough, good-looking and assertive as you want, but are you still considered an alpha if everyone treats you like crap and doesn't simply yield to you on demand? I grew up with a lot of popular guys who never exhibited any extraordinary physical or mental abilities and haven't done anything particularly noteworthy with their lives ever since, other than marrying (and often rapidly divorcing) their popular high school/college sweethearts. It seems like a lot of these guys simply amassed a wealth of friends and social status at a very early (pre-pubescent) age, and simply having all those people in their corner, along with the accompanying learning experiences, made it that much easier to keep building friendships and connections in the two decades since.

    I used to be the fat ugly kid when I was growing up, lived mostly on the opposite end of the social spectrum which I guess you could call a "gamma". Spent my formative years around packs of nasty snobby people who knew I could run intellectual circles around them and only treated me even worse for it. Now those pricks are all getting fat while I've been a gym rat for the last 3 years getting stronger, fitter, leaner and buffer than any of them ever were, and suddenly they've all decided that image and health don't matter anymore. Smoking was also considered the cool thing to do right up until I started doing it too, so go figure. I usually do pretty well in crowds where no one knows me from the past but at the disadvantage of no one knowing me, and amongst more familiar crowds they still see me as the smart fat kid from 20 years ago, so I tend to find it pretty hard to get a leg up in a society dominated by childish retarded pricks. On the other hand, a lot of these jerks are the very same people who vote jerks like themselves into public office and then grieve at the resulting incompetent leadership and perpetually weak economy, so karma has a way of getting back at them too.

    Anyhow bottom line, society has a lot of awful cognitive biases and I've seen a lot of good well-meaning people victimized by their peers at the expense of dumb pricks who have nothing novel or valuable to offer the world. Being assertive and demanding respect won't get you "alpha" status unless society actually agrees to go along with your chosen designation, and society seems to have very fickle criteria when making these kinds of decisions. Personally I'm not out to be an alpha nor do I think anyone else should be; I just love being the one to get in the alpha's face and put them in their place in front of a packed room. These days when someone makes it their mission to publicly question my dignity and integrity, I start questioning what right they have to continue breathing my oxygen, and the more awkward it gets, the better.
     
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  7. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Riight. What makes you think he wasnt a loving father or good wage earner? I do not like men who dont like kids or seek poor men. but faithful?
    Not a chance in hell.

    I dont know where you get such positive alternatives like good men grow on trees or something.

    I know plenty if women who dont even date alphas, players, badboys etc but they all have problems finding a man thats faithful or they are divorced for that reason. It is too common. Some are much older, professional etc. Does not matter, got swindled anyways and they are just as susceptible to men. Some even had worse experiences than me and just got played much, much worse. Some women stay long-term or dont even realize until its way too late.

    In the real world, being older or having completely different taste makes no difference. They may go for the guy at church or in a three-piece suit or work colleague, doesnt mean hes good for relationship, honest or even mature or faithful.

    Since knowing this, might as well just go for what i like if its going to be that way anyways.
     
  8. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    It's a two-way street. You want the guy who's shallow with everyone else, ultimately he's going to be shallow with you too- what makes you so special that he should treat you any differently? You want a guy who's physically attractive, but most men have physical standards too, so you'd better be able to deliver the goods for a long, long time on your own end. I'm against this whole modern movement of disgruntled young men actively going after women and harassing them as they age and fall from grace, but I do believe men today need to be more assertive and selective about who they accept in a relationship, and that having no relationships is better than having unsatisfactory ones.

    Guys also need to stop entertaining hopeless fantasies by stooping down for women who treat them like "betas" today or abused them in the past; let everyone fairly earn their keep. Nothing compares to the satisfaction of withdrawing your love, affection, emotional and financial support from someone who took it for granted while spending years dating other men at your expense, and then witnessing the ensuing mental breakdown as she watches her life unravel and her career and family prospects permanently vanish before her selfish aging eyes.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
  9. birch Valued Senior Member

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    3,778
    Most men are cheaters and they arent in just their twenties either. They are also in their thirties, forties, fifties, sometimes sixties! And if they ever slow down or stop to really 'settle' down, its because nature is making them.

    So like i said, might as well go for the gusto if you're going to waste your time on a man.

    Alpha is defined differently by everyone but there are some common themes. Successful, confident, mental and physical strength, intelligent and can keep a woman in both love and lust.

    To me, i would add charisma and extreme good looks to that to be an alpha. Then its the whole package. It cant be just one quality over another. The man of your dreams basically and a lot of women that have a similar taste. The problem is even if they may not be your friends particular cup if tea, just statistically they appeal to still a wide variety of women out there. Its like every other one either wants them completely or wants to bed them because they are attractive, even if they have someone too. Women, on the street and at work always flirting with him. They turn heads wherever they go.
     
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Lmao. When did i say i was more special than anyone else?

    Even players are people too, have preferences and form bonds. I just stated the facts which you dont seem to understand peculiarly for a guy.

    Even if one is the girlfriend and loves you, it does not stop him from having a roving-eye or cheating. And its not about delivering the goods or even looks to an alpha player. He may want to keep you too while he has other fun. It doesnt matter what you do or dont do. Thats not how they think. He may have sprite at home and may like that but also want a coke or dr pepper once in awhile or vice versa.

    There are plenty of beautiful girlfriends or wives who get cheated on and there is nothing lacking in or out of the bedroom. Its just the way they are. If you were an alpha player, you would already know that. lol
     
  11. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Ok, and if it thrills you to be in constant competition with other women and that's what attracts you about the guy, may you happily share him and fight for his attention ever after. To be fair, I partially agree with your earlier point that a lot of the "nice guys" are cheaters too, or at least they would be if they had someone to cheat on or cheat with, but you seem to write off a fairly significant portion of the species, and the males of Western society in particular, without any meaningful evidence to back it up.

    Anecdotally, I know plenty of great, enterprising, successful guys out there who've been very kind and faithful to anyone I've ever seen or known them to be with, and I've never personally cheated on anyone either. To date, all my intimate relationships have been very brief precisely because I have no intention of ever settling down with someone who makes me wish I could have been with a different person altogether, I simply don't see the point. Cheating would be far less of a problem if people were more honest, cautious and sparing with their commitments in the first place. The only difficulty I've ever had in the short-term relationships is breaking it off without making the other person feel stupid or unattractive, but I can only feign my interest for so long and much prefer honesty.

    Those kinds of guys have the same mentality you do, always looking for the "best of the best" on very superficial terms, which means there's always a better catch just waiting around the corner. Despite having very high superficial standards of my own, I don't see how anyone can actually win that game in the end, there's no finish line.

    The only positive alpha quality I see as understandably attractive is the aura of confidence they project. Imagine I'm a used car salesman and I basically approach you saying: "How'd you like to buy this little doozy for $10,000? It's uh... well the seats are kinda scuffed up and all, not sure I'd want it personally, but maybe you'd like to give it a try?" Yeah, I don't imagine that one going over very well unless it also involves a rag and some chloroform.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

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    3,778
    This is very true. They all slip up eventually because its stressful, especially if you have a girlfriend who is very on to you, no matter how clever you think you are. Then it turns into a love/hate relationship if the woman isnt going to just lay down and take it. I made sure i gave him hell for lying to me and it was stressful for both. That was my way of making it emphatically clear that i was going to make him suffer if he made me suffer. It does not matter how much money they throw at you or tell you they love you. My mistake was moving in, meeting his family and getting entrenched instead of just having my fun and moving on quickly. No matter how in love or sure a player is that you are the one, he will have others on the side. Granted they put up with a lot more but they deserve it because they are hoes who dont care if another has a girlfriend. If you cant call, cant ever go to his apartment, never meet his family, has to use secondary email or youmail etc then you would have to be retarded to not know why, no matter what he tells you or complains about his girlfriend because its just an outlet. Since there are plenty of hoes, there are plenty if chances for men to cheat.
     
  13. birch Valued Senior Member

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    E
    Excuse me, i ended it and not with him. When i told him its over he said he would go with me to see a psychiatrist of my imaginings so we could all talk about it together. This was him trying to take charge and control. Its hilarious yet tragic. I am not even on speaking terms with him. Him wanting to be friends after was not going to work as im not friends with people who have lied to me. I amputate them from my life even if i have to sort out shit and baggage afterwards by myself.
     
  14. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Ok, and I thought you've been saying that you still dream of being with the same sort of guy over and over, even if it keeps leading to the same outcome. Did I miss something?
     
  15. birch Valued Senior Member

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    3,778
    No, you are misunderstanding something. They are not necessarily looking to replace you or the grass being greener on the other side. They are having their fun. Do you really think a man is looking to replace his girlfriend or wife with a hoe he's cheating with? Sometimes but usually not. Or especially some women he fucks at a sex party with his friends? For example, do you think that basketball player kobe was looking to replace his wife with all the women hes cheated with? No, its not always about that.
     
  16. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Looking at that picture in the OP, it really strikes home how relative this whole alpha male thing is in the first place. IMO the guy with the chains and sunglasses looks like a total douche. I fail to see what's so cool about having cheesy Walmart necklaces draped around your neck and MC Hammer sunglasses, and the bro looks like he can't even bench 100lbs. What, is he such a lyrical genius that he'll be mentioned by Oxford scholars in the same breath as Shakespeare in centuries to come? Will anyone even know who this guy is in 20 years? If he's ever been in a serious fight that didn't involve him mentally projecting his soul into one of his bodyguards, he must have some top notch plastic surgeons on his speed dial.

    I guess what really happens is MTV tells you that this guy is cool, and the cash starts pouring in. Goes back to what I was saying about society annointing the alpha male as much as the alpha male himself demands the attention.
     
  17. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Why do these guys even need to have wives in the first place, then? Lower taxes?
     
  18. PhysBang Valued Senior Member

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    What if human beings are too complicated for there to be such a thing as an "alpha" human?
     
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  19. birch Valued Senior Member

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    The picture is not the man. Its an example of good looks and sexual charisma which are potent ingredients in the game of love. When you are barely twenty something, you are going to be thin.

    The man im talking about (the ex is not famous, of course) is more muscular as hes older but he did look similar at his age. He does not need no bodyguard to defend himself. He is very intense and masculine.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
  20. birch Valued Senior Member

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    This is a pic of the 'famous' guy when he got a bit older. Of course he became more muscular and filled out but thats not the point.

    Its doesnt have to do with marketing or mtv. People have eyes to see a good-looking person period. Thats why he was the most popular with the women out of the whole group anyways.

    Success or money isnt just alpha. They got that something too. And its not just the looks alone, its the whole package. They've just got that 'it' that others dont.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
  21. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    False.
    Most men are monogamous.

    There's a wide range of statistics on this, but I am confident that the most reliable ones will refute your assertion.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
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  22. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Post it then. Because there are statistics that declare roughly around 70 percent of males having cheated.

    But i dont need 'out of touch' statistics. How do they determine? Voluntary admittance (lol)? Divorce rates? What about all the women who actually stay because of insecurity, money, kids?

    Almost every other female i know has some backlog story of a man who cheated, if not going through it currently. I dont care what race, social status or profession. With men, even the average and not so attractive males. It does not matter. Cant say the same numbers of those complaints by men but i think that trend is changing these days.
     
  23. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    It's your assertion, I'd like to see it.

    Anecdotal.
    Most men I know are in IT. I guess that means most of the men of the world are in IT?
     

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