I find it strange that you are so offended, insulted and angry that she is possibly telling a friend from work some of her problems (you have stated yourself that she is gossiping about people at work with this friend), while you are online in an internet forum telling and all sundry personal and private issues you have with her.. My husband and I have gone through horrors in our lives in the last couple of years, the worst being for the past year where we have lived in absolute terror of things not going as we hoped they would. My husband has become an arse and is acting out due to the sheer volume of stress we have been under (natural disasters and cancer can do that to you) this past year especially, but at no time, even when our marriage was crumbling under the pressure of what was affecting us, did he ever not trust me or order me to not speak to any of my male friends. Quite the contrary.. My friends, male friends.. my best friend is male.. he has driven me to my treatments, brought me home, cleaned me up when I threw up or passed out after throwing up (unpleasant), helped me in the shower when I was too weak to stand and then put me to bed and sat with me while my husband was with the children and getting their meals ready, etc - as we did not want the children to have to see any of that first hand... That is what true friends do and yes, we are emotionally attached. Because he is my best friend. Friendship is an emotional attachment to another. I would have to say that my best friend probably saved my husband and I even more grief. If my husband ever told me that I could not speak to him or see him anymore because he did not trust me or because he felt threatened, that would be the end of our marriage. And if the situation were reversed, my husband and I would do the same for him, without fail. You need to ask yourself why a random man your wife works with, and whom she is friends with, is such a threat to you and your marriage. Most importantly, you have to ask yourself why you don't trust your wife and why you feel you have to demand she not be friends with certain people. Have you ever considered that she is angry at you because you are demanding something like this from her, because you are basically telling her that you do not trust her? She is probably offended. I know I would be and if my husband ever made such a demand, he'd be shown the door because it would be clear that he did not trust me and a marriage without trust is not really a marriage. Here you are, by your own admittance, having told your wife she has to stop being a stay at home parent and go back to work. You then order her to not speak to a male colleague at work and that you don't want her to be friends with him because his presence in her life is an insult to you. You made her go to work and then you are angry when she makes friends at work... or that she is talking to a man at work.. You also seem to be having a bit of a whine that she put the needs of your children before anything else.. Control issues much? From where I am sitting, it seems to be about control. You seem angry that you cannot control the fac tthat your wife put the children first, or spent money on the children without your say so, that she has made friends contrary to what you want and you cannot control the fact thtat she has a friend who is male and so you view it as a threat.. You cannot be so controlling that you deny your partner/spouse the right to have friends. Marriage is not just about you. It is also about her. If you cannot trust her and if you feel so insecure that her having friends or putting her children's needs above your own bothers you or is a threat to you, then yes, you do need help.