Statistical Probablity Of Finding A Girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by sderenzi, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. sderenzi Banned Banned

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    I was just wondering people what you make of my lack of a significant other. You'd think by my age I would've by chance come accross a girl willing to at least go out on a date! The fact I haven't is disturbing, but more-so I wonder just what the real reasons are. Aside from some postings here people disagree with I'm really a nice fellow that is modest and laid back. I have interest in romancing woman and in cuddling, but yet still I've never even noticed them looking at me. Now that's not to say they don't, but I've never experienced it to my knowledge. I'm also not ugly or fat, so the question remains using statistical theory shouldn't I at least have met 1 girl by this point in life? Here are some details to help further your analysis...

    Born: April 8, 1981
    Location: Bolingbrook, IL - USA
    Previous Locations: Los Angeles, CA - USA; Carol Stream, IL - USA
    History

    1. Dated a girl for 7 days in high school, her boyfriend then came back from having run away and she tired of me, especially since I wouldn't concede that she was the greatest, smartest person in the universe... hell she'd never even heard of Hyperdimensional Physics!

    2. Asked a girl out in high school (when I saw her working at Suncoast Video) to which she said she would love to but her boyfriend Paul wouldn't like it. She seemed genuinely attracted to me but also torn between her relationship. The weird thing is she was like 17 or something and her BF was 20, creeped me out.

    3. Asked a girl out some time ago who worked at Borders, she was cute and funny an I liked her alot but she told me she had a BF, even so we'd just gotten done talking about how she was new to the area so I assumed she was lying :-(

    Relationships: Never any really, been alone forever

    Those are some of my attempts, as you see I'm not precisely going to force someone to be around me if they aren't mature enough to make that choice on their own.

    I never once set foot in a bar, never once set foot in a club, but then again all I can see happening is me standing their all alone like in gym class and being left out, so what is the point?

    People tell me, shouldn't the laws of science have some way of helping me!
     
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  3. Nasor Valued Senior Member

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    Hmm...if what you list there is really the bulk of your attempts to meet women/get dates, I would suggest that you really need to step things up. Lots of people have that many attempts at getting a date in a single month.
     
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  5. Makaveli Registered Senior Member

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    there is no recipe for social successes other than self confidence and the expression of interesting and attractive qualities. i actually kind of pity people who need to get hope through statistical probabilitys...
     
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  7. sderenzi Banned Banned

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  8. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    Are these the only girls you've tried to date in the twelve or thirteen years since you entered puberty? Then it isn't your lack of results that are the problem but your lack of attempts. You are far too cautious, unwilling to take the risk of rejection. Twenty girls are going to say No for every one who says Yes, and you haven't even asked twenty girls yet. You should be asking twenty girls every month, that's not even a new one every day. If you don't meet new women that often then you must be in some place like Alaska where men outnumber women. You need to pack up and move to a better place. Come to Washington DC, women vastly outnumber men here--especially straight men.

    Are you not meeting women you're attracted to? Then I don't know what you're looking for but it's time to think about changing your parameters. Are you not meeting women you're comfortable with? Then it's time to grit your teeth and ask them out anyway. Even if they say No, it's good practice, it will teach you that rejection isn't fatal and you'll learn to shrug it off and go on to the next one. Is it awkward to be a woman's friend and then attempt to change the relationship by asking her on a date? Then don't present it as a date, just ask her (not "invite") if she'd like to do some particular thing together that you know you both enjoy that doesn't have a lot of romantic overtones. A daytime thing, something in public, something that does not take place in the dark, maybe a lecture or a museum exibition or a political discussion or a craft show. Check the arts & entertainment listings in your newspaper, there are fun things happening all the time that don't come across as "dates." Treat her like a guy, become pals first, then try to ramp it up into romance. By that time the topic may even have come up naturally in conversation.

    Women don't have a problem dating their friends, as long as the friendship hasn't become so well established that you're more like a brother. Six months maybe. My wife and I were just friends for six months before the relationship turned in a different direction. But not a woman you've been friends with for several years, that almost never works out.

    Are you having trouble getting acquainted with women well enough to be able to ask them to go out and do something, and not have them regard you as some pushy stranger? In that case you're so overwhelmed with the problem of finding a "girlfriend" that it's getting in the way of simply being a "friend."

    Perhaps you just don't have a lot of female friends, or don't make female friends very easily or very often. In that case you're doing something wrong in your life. You are probably looking at women as females first, and humans second. These days most of them really hate that. Regardless of all the coy and flirtatious games they play, most women really do want to be accepted as human beings and not be lumped into a category as different from guys.

    Start treating them that way and you'll probably find that your life changes. Don't expect instant miracles because it's probably you who has to change, not the universe around you.
     
  9. SoLiDUS OMGWTFBBQ Registered Senior Member

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    I just came in here to say I laughed out loud at your thread title: dude, you just need to go out and talk to girls. Eventually, it won't be weird anymore and after you've collected enough experience, you'll know what to say, when to say it and most importantly, how to say it. Just remember that your odds will always be zero if you don't try.
     
  10. frattman Registered Member

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    On the other hand you might not be doing all that much wrong. Perhaps you are a great guy that gets passed over for all of the assholes in the world. Hey, this happens to all nice guys. The only advice I have for you is to be true to yourself and to be patient. You will realize that being in a relationship and appreciated by a woman isn't all it's cracked up to be if you have to pretend to be someone else or if you just settle on someone who isn't what you're looking for. There's nothing wrong with being picky when it comes to the important things. There is danger on asking out every piece of tail out there 'for practice' - what if one of these practice girls says yes, and you're too chickenshit to break off a relationship with someone you're not happy with? (yeah, that's happen to me). You have to be happy with yourself befor e you're happy in a relationship
     
  11. Syzygys As a mother, I am telling you Valued Senior Member

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    Actually, it is an interesting problem. Let's suppose people are looking for their one true love whom they want to marry.

    The mathematical odds of meeting the appr. same age person at the same time (when both are aviable) is very, very small.Not to mention the small pool of such persons who is your true love and you are his/her true love too, and let's throw in compatibility. Chances are nearly ZERO....
     
  12. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    Well, geez, why do you think the divorce rate is so fuckin' high?! And I'd also ask, why do you think there's so much marital strife even with those who hang tough and stay married?!

    Sheee-it, man, men and women weren't made to live together, that's for damned sure! Fuck together, sure, ....but live together? No fuckin' way!!!

    When a man and a woman live together, one or the other has to give up something of themselves, knuckle under, become the wimp, ...., or the marriage just won't last. And statistics prove it.

    Baron Max
     
  13. Sauna Banned Banned

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    Last edited: Dec 30, 2006
  14. Syzygys As a mother, I am telling you Valued Senior Member

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    Gee Max, have you just got a bad divorce? Or read my post about why people sign their posts?

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    (it's redundant, you know)
     
  15. EndLightEnd This too shall pass. Registered Senior Member

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    I bet the probability would be alot higher if you made it to public places.
     
  16. Search & Destroy Take one bite at a time Moderator

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    The probability would undoubtedly increase with every new women you encounter. So, go to places with a lot of women, and talk to every one of them.

    Then there are things that will help you while you talk. Like confidence, humor, etc. Those will all up the probability.

    And don't underestimate the powers of alcohol in times of need.
     
  17. Nickelodeon Banned Banned

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  18. orcot Valued Senior Member

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    Never date a women with high interest in math especially if she's specialists in subtrancting your bank account.
    Further on don't think to much, don't ask for dates with women in uniform, or afther work when they're sweating.
     
  19. Syzygys As a mother, I am telling you Valued Senior Member

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    Unless you mean the internet as public place, I disagree. In this age actually you have a better chance (faster, search function) to meet a qualified person for you online than going out.

    Let's say you are into rat peed stamp collection. What is the chance in real life to run into another being who collects stamps that were peed on by a rat? On the other hand you can find anything on the internet....

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