Spanking your child?

Yes Ryan has been to a psychologist (or so I have been told) and he is perfectly normal for his age :bugeye: this being one of my step-mother psychologist and my step mother hates my opinion on how to raise Ryan, my father has to defend her because he has gone through 3 marriages and now does anything is wife ask on command, out of fear.

 

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Spanking is good

Spanking is better then tallking the kid down for braking some difficult- to-explain rule. Talking the kid down lowers his/her selfesteem. They have to be learned that some things must not be done: if you can simply explain the rule that the kid fully understands it then it is preferable but (eg. he sees disabled kid and laugths brutally. If I explain that the kid can be hurt due his his behaviour, he says: but paps he looks so funny (it is in a way true) so I say if you do not stop I will spank you (and sometimes I do) ) Often when I talked to him to improve his behaviour he looked depressed and unsure afterwards...

 

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WellCookedFetus,

True, and after reviewing them i stand corrected.

 

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The way you reason is very depressiong. Don't you realize that by spanking your child you are raising a potential Hitler?

 

LOL Hitler LOL! and by not spanking your child you can raise the anti-Christ!

 

haha agreed. i want children who act like kids.
my momma always tells people "maybe they don't sit quietly with their hands folded but at least my kids are not dull"

 

Are you serious? How many children do you have? How old are they? If it were really truee wouldn't the world have been over run with "hitlers" by now?

 

Look around, isn't it?

 

It would be my guess the people you speak of were never spanked. Hence the problem. If it wasn't for spanking I would never have learnt to respect another person's property or well being.

 

The columbine kids were never spanked!

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I think its ok to spank your kid.

Look this kid Ryan probably hasnt been punished and felt what it is liked to be hit(till recently). He probably dosent know what it feels like to have a rock thrown at his head and have somebody laugh at you.

Humans by nature are violent. I think Ryan needs to understand what it is like to have another person willingly inflict pain upon him. Hes a bully and the best way to beat a bully is to well be the bigger one. Either do it now or its going to happen sometime it just might not be from a loved one.

 

Last time I was there (last charismas) I think my step mother was backing down and was resorting to what ever was possible in disciplining Ryan, I'll think she is learning

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I'll visit them again later this summer see how things are going. I personally believe that some children never needed to be spanked: I have meet people that claim that they were never spanked... all were women though. That not to say women in general can be raised without spanking: I remember the cousin of my first serious girlfriend she was never spank and oh man what a monster!

 

Hitler was seriously abused by his parents.
Violence feed violence.
I hope you are not serious about spanking your children.
If you have the ability to think of what damage it may cause the childs selfimage, that will be there for the rest of its life, you will stop yourself.

 

Bebelina,

You sound just like my step-mother

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please explain Ryan's violent tendencies then, also explain why I don't have any?

The Columbine kids were never spanked (or so there parents claim) what went wrong there?

 

OK so spanking a child will lead them to attempt conquering the world? If this is the only example you have then could it get any lamer?

How about being whipped with a fabric covered electrical cable? I've seen others cop much worse & of course, we're trying to take over the world

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I've known plenty of people who were spanked as children, me myself being one of them; somehow, all of such kind are quite disciplined, not-threatening adults with variety of values and great perspectives, and they're all loving children.

Hitler was talented in speech; this enabled him to unite the nation and direct it to one goal. If such is the result of spanking, SPANK AWAY! Why is it a bad thing if your child is able to do great thing?

(note: I'm not a fan of Hitler's policies; I simply recognize that the man had some good skills that were directed toward destruction.)

 

Folks, I gotta tell ya, I strongly disagree with sparing the rod.

It is most effective when the child is young. All children will push the boundries to find if those boundries remain in place. It is how they measure their world. If the boundries remain then their world is what they know and all is well. When those boundries don't remain then they must explore just how far they can go. No respect for authority means trouble down the line.

Now a days, parents are responcible for what their children do. Financially responcible. So if your underage child steals a car and runs over someone elses property, that makes you the parent responcible. At this point it is a little late to give him a good wallop on the butt to say this is wrong. He has no respect for authority. So what happens? You pay, he winds up in reform school where he learns if he was smarter he could have gotten away with it. Next time he tries to be "smarter" and that is no winning battle.

He then has no respect for authority and it is soon time for the jail.

Read the papers some time. Just how much is good in the local news of what is happening around your block? No a lot, I would venture to say.

Everyone wants to blame the drug situtation for all the violence. Oh and the video games. News flash!!! It isn't the games. It isn't violence in the movies and it isn't because they read some book that someone else wanted banned from the school library. It is because they never learned respect at a young age when it could have done some good. Learning it later in life is the hard way.

I got my tail torn up more times than I care to talk about. I read all those violent comic books. (That's how I learned to read!) But I have never had the urge to go knock off some bank, steal some car, or just plain go out and shoot someone because I was having a bad day. (Nor do I have the urge to go visit jail for something I didn't do smart enough.)

I think we have lost some serious family values with the do gooders involved. No corporal punishment in schools has lead to things like school shootings and kids toting weapons because they are afraid for their safety from kids that never learned the meaning of the word "NO!".

 

Who are the Columbine kids??

I think this is very true, and I also think they will be disappointed if there isn't one! It's almost as if there are so many opportunities available to them (if there are no boundaries), that is is daunting, and probably scary. I think children should be given direction (like when they first learn to ride a bike with a parent to hold them steady) but I don't think spanking should ever really be neccessary.

I think this is a bit extreme Bebelina. I think Hitler probably was spanked, by his Dad (his father was apparently quite strict) but I have never seen or heard of any evidence for this. Do you have any evidence for what you claim??

 

Fetus, I can't explain why you don't have the same tendencies as Ryan, I don't know you well enough, but it would be a bit drastic to draw the conclusion that wether you were spanked or not would be the sole difference.
I think you should insist that your stepmother takes Ryan to a BETTER psychologist, that would try to investigate a little more in his behaviour, because it doesn't sound normal to me. A child that acts out that violently is not happy, something is definitely bothering him or he might have a psychological disorder since birth.
The Columbine kids had a lot of history in common with others of the same generation, so saying that just because they weren't spanked they went crazy is like saying that because they didn't listen to classical music they wen't crazy. There's simply no logic in that.
Such extreme behaviour always has much more to it than a cliché.

Kazakhan, I feel sorry for you if that is what you have experienced yourself.
If you can't remember the terror of being hit as a child and then that is proof itself of the long going damage it has done.
Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially not a child.

Of course I didn't mean that every spanked child should turn out to be a Hitler clone, please read between the lines a little bit more than that. I was of course refering to his violent and generally ruthless and cruel behaviour.

And his intelligence and skills had absolutely nothing to do with wether he was abused or not, you realize that, don't you Whitewolf?

Mucker, I don't carry along proof regarding Hitlers uprbringing in my backpocket, but watch the History channel, read some litterature about him and I'm sure you will come to that chapter. I can recall hearing and reading about it on several occasions, but I don't catagolize all my experiences for future demand of evidence.

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I agree that children need boundaries, but there are other ways of providing such guidance than through abuse.

The violence in this world is not a result of lack of spanking, it a result of lack of love. Lack of empathy towards eachother, and that is what this society as such has been based on, that is what has lead us to this hostile world.
If you want it to change, if you want humanity to become more kind, then you have to start with yourself and how you treat your children, ser a good example. Because saying "heck, I was spanked and I turned out ok.." , and then go and spank your child, is evidence that you haven't learned a thing. Just following destructive patterns induced in your childhood.

Children mimic adults, so if you spank your child as punishment for it throwing a stone at another child, you are giving it double messages.
You are with your mouth saying "it's wrong to hurt other people" , and with your actions saying the opposite.

 

I like this its fool proof: the psychologist say “don’t spank them!” and tell them to pump their self esteems up until they are narcissistic, then most of all recommend to come often to a local psychologist or just them for child psychiatric help and guidance: It genius! You set them up and knock them down!

I mentioned the Columbine kids because saying Hitler was evil or violent because he was spanked is the same faulty logic. The thing is that goths in Germany and Japan don’t go around killing people, so I don’t see how it’s the cliché fault.

Spanking is not abuse, it not hitting your child with no warning or burning him with cigarettes. I have seen the giving your child love and lots of it and it does not do squat when it comes to disciple. Ryan learned to hit all on his own, he did not learn it from being hit.