Spanking children, a parent's right ?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Cazzo, Aug 20, 2008.

?

When it comes to parents spanking their kids butts :

  1. The UN should be able to criminalize spanking for ALL parents everywhere.

    4 vote(s)
    10.3%
  2. Only individual states or countries should criminalize spanking if they want.

    7 vote(s)
    17.9%
  3. Parents should be allowed to spank their own children, it's their buisness alone.

    25 vote(s)
    64.1%
  4. Other.

    3 vote(s)
    7.7%
  1. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    Although I do not have children, if I did, I wouldn't use corporal punishment. Instead, I'd bring them up discplined and militarized, and if they do cross the line, I'd give them physical work, for fitness (such as doing pushups), etc

    However, by any means, we NEED to bring discipline back. I look at the current generation and am appalled at the utter lack of morality.
     
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  3. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    And if they refused???
     
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  5. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    I don't understand this problem that if you smack your kid on the butt they get confused and think it's ok to hit other ppl or children...

    When I smacked my children the couple times that I did. There was no confusion as to why they got spanked. They were only about 3 at the time as well. Children at 3 are pretty damn smart and they also know just how to get things their way too. Neither one of them hauled off and hit anybody else after that, thinking it was ok. They understood that I would NOT tolerate any kind of tantrums and that is why they got a spanking. They knew it was punishment for their actions. They weren't confused about anything. They knew mom just spanked me because I was acting out of control and if I do that again I may get another spanking. Thus I won't do it again.

    Maybe my children were easy to teach right from wrong I don't know. I felt a bit bad after I spanked them back then, but IT WORKED.

    They are 12 and 7 now. Like I said they can tell by the tone of my voice and look on my face when enough is enough. If I have to punish them for whatever reason I do it with groundings, or I take away computer/gaming playing with friends afterschool privelges and double up the chores. It seems to work pretty good so far. They are both doing well in school, are mannnerly.....I have no complaints. BUT they know that I am the BOSS and they don't TELL ME, I TELL THEM, and I check the attitude pretty fast when it comes up sometimes.
     
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  7. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    What happens in the Army if you refuse?
     
  8. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    Prison...or expulsion.
     
  9. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

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    3,485
    it all depends on the child. Some children respond well to spanking while in others it encourages the opposite. I've heard people preach, but live a day in the parents shoes and you might change your mind. I don't think its right to judge until you understand. I once had to watch a 6 year old at the child care center I worked at and he might have been the spawn of satan. He was a terrible child, spoiled beyond rotten. He always got what he wanted because his parents were afraid of being bad parents. He was so bad once that I locked him the closet, until his parents came to get him. As soon as they saw what state he was in they gave in to his demands, he got what he wanted. However I threatened to kick him outside all alone in the dark if he acted like that again and he thought I was kidding. So he started raising hell again and I threw him out. He still treated his parents like dancing pet fleas, but he never went out of his way to make me mad again. Personally I think its worse to pray upon a child's fears of the dark and being abandoned than it is to be spanked, but whatever works. You don't want your 9 year old telling what they are and aren't going to do because they don't fear or respect you.
     
  10. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    Exactly.
     
  11. madanthonywayne Morning in America Staff Member

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    If a young child runs out into the street despite your warnings not to, the natural consequence will be either he will be killed by a car, or nothing. So he'll never get the chance to learn about the natural consequence. Either he gets away scott free, or he's dead.

    Furthermore, a young child can not understand the reasoning behind not running into traffic. But he can understand that a spanking will follow his direct disobedience or his running into the street.

    You are teaching him to associate a bad consequence (a spanking) with disobedience and dangerous activity. If you wait for him to experience the natural consequence of his bad action, it may well be too late.
     
  12. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    11,529
    I agree madanthony, however I'd be more in favor of establishing military schools, and children should begin training as early as possible (say, 6), and be taught discipline, love of country, be given rugged determination, and will to fight for family and country.
     
  13. Roman Banned Banned

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    11,560
    How does shipping kids off to begin the fascist life lead to determination?
     
  14. madanthonywayne Morning in America Staff Member

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    12,461
    Roman is correct. You see kids all the time with no respect for their parents whatsoever. This started when the children were young and the parents never spanked them.

    It's like the elephant being restrained by a rope he could easily break. He doesn't try because he has been tied with that rope since he was so small that he couldn't break the rope.

    Parents who use ineffectual methods to discipline their children when they're young set themselves up for a lifetime of out of control kids.

    I have four children. I've spanked them all. They are not spanked for every infraction. They are spanked for direct disobedience or dangerous actions when they are young. As they get older, discipline methods change. Grounding or taking away priviledges is much more effective for a teenager than a spanking.

    But a two year old has basically no priviledges you can take away. Nevertheless, they must learn to respect and obey you. If they don't, they never really will. A light smack on the bottom is very effective and gets the point across quickly.

    Of course, you never do it in anger. It is done for the child's benefit, so should only be done when you are in control of yourself.
     
  15. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    Fascism gives determination. Anyway, they wouldn't become fascists, they'd become sensible, responsible, and disciplined good citizens.
     
  16. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    I need to see studies, statistics. I would also want to see how much they tend to believe authority when authority is lying. Germany pre-ww2 had very disciplined households with daddy in charge and corporal punishment. Sure, they were good in school. They did what they were told......

    What spanking says it I either do not have
    a good, clear argument to convince you with
    the natural authority to make you listen to me
    or
    the charisma to make you want to please me.

    You can train horses and dogs to be good without hitting them, even troublesome ones.
     
  17. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,535
    So there should be a lot more deaths of kids who run out in the street in front of cars of parents who did not spank them. I wanna see statistics.

    I was not spanked nor were my siblings nor most of my friends. I can't remember a close call.
     
  18. Roman Banned Banned

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    11,560
    You mean an incredible trainer can do it. For the rest of us mortals, a little corporeal rebuke goes a long way.
     
  19. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,529
    Simon, we need a way to discipline the youth and give them determination and patriotism. Therefore, we need militarization of schools. What better way than that?
     
  20. lepustimidus Banned Banned

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    madan:
    Nonsense. It occurs because the parents don't discipline them consistently.

    But when parents do spank, it is usually in anger, not out of discipline. When I'm going shopping and some little kid is throwing a tantrum, and the parent does her lid and threatens to smack them, I feel physically sick. Fancy a grown adult using standover tactics on a child.
     
  21. lepustimidus Banned Banned

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    Roman:
    Nobody forces people to have kids. If you can't raise kids without assaulting them, then don't have them.
     
  22. Bells Staff Member

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    There's a difference between a light smack and a beating or whack that leaves a mark, Asguard.

    He now associates hitting when naughty. So when he thinks his little brother is naughty, he "smacks James b'cos James is nooorty like mummy smacks Luke when Luke is nooorty"... that's how he puts it. As you said in an earlier post, every child is different and parents need to tailor discipline and punishment around each individual child. I didn't think he would have made that association, but he has. He's a smart little kid with a good memory. He was able to connect a smack with being naughty. Even this morning, when his little brother was trying to wriggle his way into the fridge between my legs, Luke turned to his dad and said "James nooorty.. mummy smack James". When we said no, no smacking, he turned to me and said "Luke noorty mummy smack".. as though asking why he was smacked when he was naughty and his brother is being bad in his eyes and wasn't getting smacked.

    Or maybe you're just a better parent than I am.

    I'd never had to even yell or tell my eldest off for anything prior to that day. He's usually well behaved unless he gets overtired for whatever reason and then he gets cranky and is prone to having small tantrums, at which point he gets a time out in his room with his go to bed toy (all other toys had been removed from his room when we heard him get up in the middle of the night and start playing with cars.. damn sneaky kids). He'd spent the early morning with his grandparents who filled him up with sugar and sweets and by the time he got home mid morning, he was hyper and virtually bouncing off the walls. My inlaws think that children should be indulged in their every desire.. so the kids wanted chocolate and lemonade, cake, cookies, etc, so they just let them have it. And my kids, who know they won't get that kind of stuff at home except for a special treat on a rare occasion, lapped it up. So he was unable to settle and have a nap like he normally would and by the end of the day, he was off his little nut and my husband and I had gotten to the end of our tether. When he threw his massive tantrum, I picked him and up was carrying him to his room for a time out when he bit me. He bit and I hit him and then soundly told him off that biting was very bad and that's why he was smacked. Was the first time he'd been smacked to be honest so I don't think he could understand what was going on. He then became hysterical.. crying until he literally made himself throw up and no amount of calming measures, warm bath, cuddles, etc worked to calm him down.. I think by that point, he'd gone to the point of no return. I think he was shocked more than anything else that I'd actually hit him. Lets just say it was a bad day and evening.

    There's one thing I won't tolerate in my children and that is the kind of behaviour he exhibited that day. My discipline measures at that time failed miserably. In the past, when he has been naughty or thrown a tantrum due to over-tiredness (it's usually the only time he'd ever thrown one in the past), we'd put him in his room and he'd calm down after 10 minutes of cuddling is bed toy or he'd fall asleep for a short nap. I should have just kept to that same routine instead of lashing back at him like I did. Had I known it would have had the effect it has had on him, I wouldn't have smacked him. Had I known he'd make the connection he has made, there's no way in hell I'd have given him that smack. He doesn't think it's "ok" to hit whenever. He thinks it's ok to hit if someone (primarily his little brother) is naughty in his opinion, like it was ok for me to him him when he was naughty.
     
  23. madanthonywayne Morning in America Staff Member

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    Let me say it again. Spanking is for young children. Children who can not be convinced thru argument. You put them in "time out", and they dance and play and don't even realize they're being punished. But a smack on the bottom, that they understand immediately.
     

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