Spanking children, a parent's right ?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Cazzo, Aug 20, 2008.

?

When it comes to parents spanking their kids butts :

  1. The UN should be able to criminalize spanking for ALL parents everywhere.

    4 vote(s)
    10.3%
  2. Only individual states or countries should criminalize spanking if they want.

    7 vote(s)
    17.9%
  3. Parents should be allowed to spank their own children, it's their buisness alone.

    25 vote(s)
    64.1%
  4. Other.

    3 vote(s)
    7.7%
  1. madanthonywayne Morning in America Staff Member

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    12,461
    Spanking is extremely effective, especially with very young children. It is no more assault than allowing a baby to suck on its mothers breast is sexual abuse.
     
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  3. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    Well, I might as well take the opportunity to agree with Q for once. You are, precisely, not teaching them the consequences of their actions. You are inventing a consequence that would not have followed from their actions naturally. Vastly better to let them know how you feel and why you feel that way about what they did. Spanking is a lesson in power, it has very little to do with morals.

    It is not as if if I lie to my wife she will spank me. (this was a serious example, but also meant as a straight line to alleviate any emotional charge around this issue - have a field day with it if you want)
     
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  5. Roman Banned Banned

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    People who don't spank their kids are raising total shits. Classrooms are going to hell because parents have no clue how to discipline their children.
     
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  7. John99 Banned Banned

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    It can be but if the parent is stable to begin with then it can be controlled. The worst thing is seeing a parent out of control and i think that is what frightens kids the most, even more than the pain of being hit.
     
  8. John99 Banned Banned

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    You must have been the cutest little baby on the planet.
     
  9. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    You've got access to detailed studies on this extraordinary phenomenon?
     
  10. Bells Staff Member

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    22,192
    That's the thing. We are in damage control now. Even after two weeks, we're still in damage control. Maybe some kids are different and react differently to it. My eldest reacted very very badly to it.. I mean lets face it.. a child getting so upset that he gets hysterical to the point where he throws up and then goes on to hit his little brother because he now recognises hitting as being good when someone is bad.. ugh.. My husband and I had spoken before about spanking and we'd decided that certain things would result in a light smack.. biting was on top of the list. He bit after a day of bad behaviour and a huge tantrum and I smacked him. Now we're having to deal with the repercussions of that and all I can say is that it has backfired in our faces.

    A few weeks ago I might have agreed with you. Now I am not so sure. I've seen kids get smacked and none of them reacted like my eldest did. It shocked me to be honest. And there is no way in hell I am going to make him that upset in trying to teach him right from wrong. Before he knew that hitting was wrong.. a big no no. Now he thinks its 'ok'. Kids learn violence from their parents and peers. My eldest has learned to hit from me and that's not right. It's wrong. I am the adult and his parent and I should have handled it better. We basically now have to re-educate him about hitting others. He's a small child and he'll test the boundaries to see how far and how much he can get away with. My reaction to his biting has now led to a bigger issue with his behaviour.

    Maybe some kids do respond better to it. We've found out the hard way that our eldest does not.

    That's the funny thing. I don't consider it as assault. A light smack on the backside isn't assault in my opinion. But not every child reacts to it in the same way. For some kids, it can have a very negative affect on them, as it has been with my eldest. I was smacked as a child when I really did bad stuff and I never reacted like my son did. The same with my husband. I guess every child is vastly different and will react differently to it. It might be effective for some children, but from where I'm sitting now and after these last couple of weeks, there are better alternatives.. for me at least.

    And to be honest, I am not willing to try that little experiment with my youngest if he is ever that bad in the future. I'd always said that it was something I would handle as the situation arose.. well the situation arose for me with my eldest and it went very badly. I'm not going to even consider it now for either of my children.
     
  11. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    19,125
    Uh... John, if you allow people to hit children, who is going to decide which parent is stable and which is not? Do you not see the obvious wide open avenue for abuse, here?

    And no John, it IS the hitting that traumatizes children.

    Seriously, John, you're a theist and you condone this stuff? So much for scriptural morals and ethics. :shrug:
     
  12. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    Bells thats not actually true, under law anything which leaves a mark or uses a weapon IS criminal assult. Now in your case this may not have been the case but to many times i have seen parents use belts, wooden spoons and anything else around and they are criminally liable for that assult.

    As for whoever posted this artical
    http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000021.asp

    i love it, i loved reading the people winging that there kids are free to tell there parents to go to hell with regard to religion

    Im GLAD it requires ACTUAL education not the psudoeducation american "home schools" think is acceptable
     
  13. Roman Banned Banned

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    11,560
    Yeah.
    They're called public school teachers.
     
  14. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    I knew the punishment methods of a lot of parents in my neighborhood. I just do not see this pattern. I am open to some studies.

    I would guess that kids who are spanked grow up more likely to be physically violent, especially with those who are smaller and not authority figures.
     
  15. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    3,535
    Who know the parenting methods of the parents? They have statistics on who is acting out correlated with whether they are hit by their parents?

    We all know public school teachers have it rough.
     
  16. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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  17. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    19,125
    It might be a long haul with that one, and you may lose a boatload of trust along the way. Lots of talking, Bells, and lots of reassurances. Good luck.
     
  18. Roman Banned Banned

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  19. Roman Banned Banned

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    Smack him when he smacks his brother. Sheesh, how hard was that?
    You don't let people practice vigilante justice in Australia, do you? Why should it be any different in your house? The child needs to learn who has the right to distribute punishment.
     
  20. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    12,140
    I think it should be up to the parents. Every child is different and different punishments work for different children. Some little kids I see when I am out, are in need of a good smack on their butt. Parents who let their 2,3,4 yr olds rule and disrupt the house need a good shake. I have seen it many times where the kids are so out of control that the parent isn't even in charge anymore of the situation.

    My 2 boys are good kids. Each one of them got a smack to the bottom 2 times in their life when they were under the age of 4. Both were due to tantrums and after the smack, I never saw a tantrum again. They know when I am serious by the tone of my voice and the look in my eyes and that is enough for them to quit it.

    Time outs, being sent to a room full of toys is absolute bullshit in my opinion. I was smacked as a child quite a few times. Did I deserve it? maybe a few times but not for a lot of the little things I did. Did that turn me into a child beater? an abusive parent? NOT at all.

    As for Bells, getting bitten so hard that he drew blood. In my opinion he deserved a smack on the butt. I have never had my children get that out of control. I have seen parents getting slapped, kicked by little kids not much higher then their knees. They don't know what to do???? Yes you need to show them who is the BOSS! before you let them run your household. If you don't straighten them out by the time they are 4 or 5 you are going to have a REAL BIG problem trying to turn it around later.
     
  21. Roman Banned Banned

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    I see the same behavior towards dogs. It's disgusting.
     
  22. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    I myself support discipline, but that doesn't mean I believe you can only have discipline this way. Instead, we should establish military schools for the youth and, with the militarization, comes discipline without the need of corporal punishment.
     
  23. Carcano Valued Senior Member

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    6,865
    I think this may explain SAM's pitbull tenacity.
     

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