Spanking children, a parent's right ?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Cazzo, Aug 20, 2008.

?

When it comes to parents spanking their kids butts :

  1. The UN should be able to criminalize spanking for ALL parents everywhere.

    4 vote(s)
    10.3%
  2. Only individual states or countries should criminalize spanking if they want.

    7 vote(s)
    17.9%
  3. Parents should be allowed to spank their own children, it's their buisness alone.

    25 vote(s)
    64.1%
  4. Other.

    3 vote(s)
    7.7%
  1. buckybeam Registered Member

    Messages:
    272
    jeez i glad your not in charge. you would arrest my sons for assault.

    what about a child that hits their parent?

    should we arrest them also?
     
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  3. buckybeam Registered Member

    Messages:
    272
    children are made of rubber.

    cripe they fall head over heals down the steps and say "im alright" id be in the hospital.
     
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  5. buckybeam Registered Member

    Messages:
    272
    i guess thats why everyone over the age of 40 is an asshole.

    to many bottom beatings from parents and teachers
     
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  7. Bells Staff Member

    Messages:
    22,062
    I now have misgivings about spanking. Two weeks ago I lightly smacked my nearly 3 year old son on his well padded backside after he threw a tantrum and as I was carrying him to his room for a time out, he bit me so hard on the shoulder that he drew blood. So I lightly tapped him on the backside while telling him off for it. I'll admit, by that point, I'd lost it somewhat and I was upset after the huge tantrum and the bite was the final straw. He became even more hysterical and after about 20 minutes of the hysterical crying, he got so bad he threw up, which made him even more hysterical. No amount of talking to him, holding him after that light smack was enough to calm him down.. By that point he was too far gone. He has never bitten again or tried to bite again. But now the end result is that he remembered it and each time his 1 year old brother is naughty in his eyes, he smacks him.:bawl:

    And when he does so, we tell him that hitting is bad and his reply is "Mummy smack Luke when Luke is naughty.. Luke smack James when James is naughty"... How does one explain to a child so young that hitting someone else is bad when he now has the example of me tapping him on the backside as a punishment?.. It wasn't a hard smack. Literally a light little tap. But that was enough to set that seed in his mind and he has not forgotten it. You can't reason with a child that young that hitting is bad and then go on and hit his backside when he does stuff like bite or hit his brother. He is too young to tell the difference between the two.

    I'll admit, it's made me feel like a failure at parenting. We now have a long road ahead of us trying to make him understand that hitting is bad, period.:bawl:
     
  8. Enmos Staff Member

    Messages:
    43,184
    But Luke is not in the position to punish anyone, only you and your partner are.
    Good luck

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  9. buckybeam Registered Member

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    272
    i see the same thing in groups of gorillas.

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  10. Bells Staff Member

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    22,062
    Yes, but he can't understand that. He can't understand that hitting is bad but our hitting him is good. He's too young to tell the difference. And that's where I went wrong. I freely admit it.. I stuffed up. No amount of my saying that he wouldn't have felt the smack.. was more the noise of my hand tapping his nappy.. will be enough to rectify my mistake. He still knows it was a smack. And now, each time his brother takes one of his toys or does something he doesn't like, he hits him.. something he didn't do before. Before he'd just grab the toy back. But since that evening, he now hits his brother when he thinks his brother has been naughty.

    So now way back to time out and removal of toys when he gets like that.. then the gradual reward of having two toys returned each day he has been good, and so forth. He's testing us to see how far he can get. It's a normal part of children's development to do so.. But after my mistake, I don't think we'll be resorting to smacking him. The repercussions and issues that arise from that are far worse than the behaviour that warranted the smack in the first place.
     
  11. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,535
    take those clothes off buddy and get back in that tree!
     
  12. buckybeam Registered Member

    Messages:
    272
    im a terestrial clothed ape
     
  13. Carcano Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,865
    In extreme cases the person can grow up with so much hate that a life of violent revenge is almost inevitable.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xopaCQB4XM0
     
  14. Oniw17 ascetic, sage, diogenes, bum? Valued Senior Member

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    3,423
    I'm with the majority so far.
     
  15. Enmos Staff Member

    Messages:
    43,184
    Would he take an explanation like this:
    Only mommy's and daddy's are allowed to smack, but only if Luke or James have been really bad.

    Ok, I have no real experience raising kids

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  16. Bells Staff Member

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    22,062
    Yeah we tried that. Didn't work.. lol..
     
  17. Enmos Staff Member

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    43,184
    Perhaps you should take the blunt approach.
    Say you will smack him if he smacks his brother.
    Kidding of course

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  18. John99 Banned Banned

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    22,046
    If you are going to hit your child, which should be done, then you only do it at times when hitting them will make the greatest impact. This is when the child has done something dangerous to themselves or others.

    And knowing the level of force to use is crucial. You want to stun the child not hurt them.
     
  19. Enmos Staff Member

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    43,184
    Believe me the stunning part only works a few times.
    I remember.. my mom used to hurt her hand on my ass.. I just laughed.

    /shame
     
  20. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    2,760
    What?

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    You weren't seriously injured and forced into a life of violent revenge?

    Studies have been shown to be wrong a few times, I guess.

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  21. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks for sharing that with us, Bells. That is a very difficult situation. It demonstrates just how dangerous it is to couple discipline with violence, even if the violence was merely a "tapping." Good luck with the damage control.

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  22. Enmos Staff Member

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    Yea, I'm not at all a violent type.
    I've been hit a few times.. mostly just spanking.
     
  23. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    72,822
    I've never been spanked. I've heard hitting children makes them stubborn. Can't imagine me getting any more hardheaded than I already am. My dad had only to give me The Look and I would immediately become a good little girl.
     

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