Sometimes I think I am crazy

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Saint, Mar 29, 2011.

  1. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Work as hard as you can, as fast as you can, as well as you can.

    Hope it's enough.

    Avoid debt.

    Other than that, I'm not in my right mind, and shouldn't be handing out much advice.
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  3. Saint Valued Senior Member

    everyone got a bit dimentia, a bit crazy,
    because our brains are not perfect.

    it is ok to be a bit crazy but do not harm people.

    thread solved, moderator please close it
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  5. Enmos Valued Senior Member

    I'm not making that mistake again

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  7. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

    Usually when you reach a certain age, you get past all that self blame stuff. If you can't change your situation and you know it, do the one thing you can change and that's how you feel about it. Does it make any sense to beat yourself up for something you can't do anything about? Sure most of us have some regrets, but the past is the past, learn from it but don't dwell on it. Make it okay not to be perfect. Make it okay to be wrong sometimes, acknowledge it and move on with your life.
  8. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    If you've really done some things you're ashamed of (and who among us hasn't?), and it's way too late do do anything about them, then what would really help bring you peace is for everyone to forgive you.

    You can't control that.

    What you can control is how you feel about other people. Wouldn't this be a nice time to apply the Golden Rule? Forgive them. Make somebody else feel better. Whether or not they reciprocate and forgive you (heck they're probably not even the same people), you are improving civilization by making a whole lot of people happier.

    What a nice way to spend the remainder of your life. Doing something really good.
  9. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

    Yes what you say is true, but I also believe you need to forgive yourself. People that expect to much from themselves also tend to expect others to preform at higher standards and some jobs people do demand that also. But when you get older, it's time to lighten up on yourself and others. If you can change something you don't like do it, and if you can't, give yourself a break and move on with your life.
  10. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    "Be here, now."
  11. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

    relevant music break courtesy of live...

    The Dam At Otter Creek

    when all that's left to do
    is reflect on what's been done
    this is where sadness breaths
    the sadness of everyone

    just like when the guys built the
    dam at otter creek and all the
    water backed up
    deep enough to dive

    we took the dead man in sheets
    to the river flanked by love
    deep enough to dive
    deep enough to dive
    be here now

    we took him there and three
    in a stretcher made from trees
    that had passed in the storm
    leave the hearse behind
    to leave the curse
    be here now
  12. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Oddly enough, not too much, other than expecting a lot more honesty out of people than they usually have in them and being disappointed about that. And mostly expecting them to hurt me.

    No. I have to forgive myself for not living up to my own minimal standards.
    I have a very strong gut feeling about the wrongness of that.

    Standards are important.More important than liking myself? or peace with myself-whatever that is?
    I'd agree with that. Very much so.

    I'll believe I'm a worthwhile human being when I stop needing rescued. When I "man up," so to speak, and start being responsible for my own upkeep.

    I do need to meditate more, this would help.
    However, ATM I'm on emotional lockdown so as to not break down @ work. That's rather frowned on.

    That's rather a large part of what disappoints me so about energies are all-out engaged in survival...and I'm failing to maintain myself without help. Much less having the capacity to do good for others...because I can't do it for free...If I were to volunteer somewhere, I have to drive...and driving=money...which I don't have enough of.

    I fed my neighbors who were worse off than I was, but I think now that they've vaguely gotten it together, they are mismanaging it again...

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    I worked out today...this means I'm doing better.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2011
  13. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

    if it's any consolation i really do believe that if you're generous it comes back to you, wether people are appreciative or intelligent regarding your generosity or not. it's still the right thing to do and i believe it's right for a good reason.
  14. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Well, I'm just much as I can be, which isn't much.
    I don't quite know why. Because somebody has to be?
    Because I can't be around a hungry person and be well-fed without having a problem with myself?

    Depression is wiping the floor with me, so I'm usually not so preoccupied with this, but it's become my dominant mode of thought.

    I don't believe I deserve to feel good anymore.
    I don't know when I started despising myself again. I think it started when I dropped math class because I worked very hard for a 58...and I found that utterly shattering.
    It feels very necessary to hate myself.
    It's because I believe I've let down everyone who's really important to me.

    I can't stand to paint anymore, because my paintings aren't good enough (nor will they make me any money). I actually am glad they are put ugly, misbegotten little creations. I love what they could have been had I been better, but I hate to look at them and see where I went wrong.
    I am afraid to go back to college if I can't make straight A's.
    I took two classes and made two B's the last semester I was in; I've been out 3 semesters now. B is for bad.
    I don't feel like I deserve good things until I stop living in my mother's old house for free. I've been here far too long, you see. I also don't feel like I need to be nice to myself until I've paid my debts off, since I shouldn't have gotten the debts in the first place. Had I been more responsible, I wouldn't have failed so spectacularly and all that...
    So if I do anything nice for myself-and I do, I feel guilty about it.

    I can't stand myself if I'm not absolutely excellent. Since my physical and mental state are both not good these days, excellence isn't easy...but whatever's firing this isn't having any nonsense about excuses.

    I can see this is getting me nowhere, but I still can't accept anything less than excellence in all things out of myself...and I have a harder and harder time believing myself capable of my own nosebleed-high standards.
    I know where this creeping perfectionism(and it's getting worse) comes from...but insight's cheap.
    I can't seem to convince myself it's all right to do poorly the first time and keep refining...if I don't do excellently the very first time I'm horrible...and it follows that beating myself up over it's very necessary, as it goes to show I'm defective and warrant that sort of treatment.

    And I'm getting too old to do anything really good, so I'm rather getting resigned to dying having never done anything much with myself.
    I feel obligated to emotionally eviscerate myself when I fail, so I daren't fail...that means I dare not take any risks at all. Which also means I fail. And get to hate myself for that.

    The answer is to like myself again, I suppose, but to do that I'd have to accept who I am.
    That's a revolting idea.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2011
  15. charles brough Registered Senior Member

    The deep feeling of resentment that surfaces in so many of us is, of course, not normal, but it is common enough to be normal. It is something that has grown among the public in the last half century.

    Those of us who are familiar with economics should be well aware that when there is increased abundance of something, its value drops. It is the same with people. As our society becomes more crowded, "other people" lose value! Our religious and secular ideologies try to minimize that, but it shows up deep within us anyway.

    As crowding becomes worse, the value of "other people" drops further. Those who had a hard time as children feel added resentment that they carry on through life. Sometimes, in these people, the value of "the other people" takes on a negative value. The two factors combine to break the individual and he goes berzerk. Intuitively, he sets out to "get even" by killing as many "other people" as he can.

    In other cases, he gives into the resentment and hostility by looking for and finding some "grand cause" that will "enoble" his revenge killing motive and then thus allow him to exit in a wave of "glory." Sound familiar?

    You all know "the other people." They are the ones who crowd the highways and make you late for work or are ahead of you in the too-long unemployment line. You have to pay too much for gasoline because too many of them have cars. Some of them have faces or personalities that really grade on you and you want to avoid---such as some of those in the TV commercials that are thrust right across the screen and into your house and face just to aggrivate and by so doing attract your attention.

    As I show why in "The Last Civilization," the stress from this is increasing and leading in strange directions. Each civilization has its own "over-population" problem. Also, each has declined, as ours is now.

  16. Saint Valued Senior Member

    This implies Birth Control like in China is necessary.
  17. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    It was, for them, at that time. Overpopulation will create its own culling, be it war, famine, plague or something else. This is just how it works. Balance will be regained.

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    The loss of empathy in America over the last 30 years has many causes. If we recognize it as a problem we can do something about it, but it will have to poke us in the nose before we do that. This as we are also not very observant these days.

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  18. birch Valued Senior Member

    oh holy shit, you really do think people were more empathetic before. holy shit, that's really stupid.

    that's amazing actually. amazingly cuckoo and strange because it's just not true. people are a lot more empathetic and enlightened today than even ten years ago.

    but you were the one who was arguing supposed rationality and science in another thread. holy shit, people's judgements are off.
  19. Saint Valued Senior Member

    based on what u say that? Evidence?

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  20. Honeyb35 Registered Member

    Do you get enough good sleep? i know that might not sound like a reasonable question But sometimes insomnia is associated with mental illnesses
  21. Saint Valued Senior Member

    When I see a bald, I just can't stop thinking of touching his head, and probably hammer it until bleeding...............

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  22. zgmc Registered Senior Member

    I want to be inappropriately vulgar in everyday interactions. Co-workers, customers, cashiers. Maybe someday I'll lose it and I can live the dream!
  23. river

    Frustration about something perhaps ....just saying.

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