Sex for pleasure

But if there are so many failed relationships, maybe the desire for sex is more indicative of affirming your attractiveness than for pleasure. You know "I can still get a guy/girl to sleep with me, ergo, I'm attractive". I've noticed that singles seem to be discriminated against as compared to couples. What do you think?

 

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Nubian:
the new ruling (proposed) is that a woman (if she so wishes) will be able to claim rape (IIRC up to one week later) on the grounds that she was so drunk she didn't know what she doing. But being drunk will not be an excuse for anything else (driving, public urination etc.) and the guy won't be able to use the fact that he was drunk - otherwise he wouldn't have slept with her in the first place. How do you "prove" you were drunk a week after the event? Basically it'll mean (in law) that women are not capable of judging their alchohol intake and stop before they lose control...
Sam:
I got divorced a couple of years ago and ended back on the "dating scene" Ha! dating my arse. Most of the time it's "Hey, you look shaggable, wanna go back to my place and give me a good seeing to?" (Word for word, I swear, from three separate women in the space of two nights... and I grew up in the days when it was more or less three dates before you even kissed

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).
From a personal perspective, far more sex for pleasure, and women are equally predatory. Came as some surprise...

 

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From personal experience (and mainly observation) it looks to be about having as much variety as possible, nobody (in general, of course) seems to be bothered about getting and keeping a partner, so long as they have a partner once the pub's shut.

 

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So do you believe that marriage is becoming redundant as a social institution?

And if the sex is only for variety and pleasure. has it changed the way you look at women?

 

Probably. But maybe not as fast as some would have it. Most of the younger kids I know (I moved back to my home town after the divorce and ended "falling in" with the student crowd - good live music scene) plan on getting married or end up surprising themselves and deciding to get married. But generally they're leaving it later in life (more disposable income and less discrimination against single women - no "old maid" syndrome).

Most definitely. I think. If you mean "slag" etc (dunno if that word means what it does here - a nasty word for a woman who has sex without being married and admits to enjoying it), then the word was used when I was at school, and if anyone uses it these days it's the women themselves. Usually with a sense of pride. I find it refreshing that a generation appears to have come out of nowhere (I didn't get out much when I was married...

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) that knows what it wants and doesn't see any shame in admitting it. Good for them. OTOH it also made life slightly easier for me - not knowing the protocol thses days for making an approach to someone I liked the look of. Although the forthright attitude did take some getting used to... "Nooo, when I asked if I could buy you drink I MEANT I wanted to buy you a drink, and maybe get to know you. Not shag you sideways in the alleyway five minutes after meeting you".

 

In college in the US, specifically at Indiana University, I was told basically the same thing. A women can not give consent when drunk. To have sex with a drunk chick is date rape, period. Fortunately, I've never heard of it being enforced and most of us rolled our eyes and continued looking for drunk chicks.

 

Aaah callow youth. When a drunken woman tries picking me up the reply is "Sod off - if you want to have sex with me I want to be sure you're sober enough to remember it"

 

Sex for displeasure.

 

Precisely why I prefer to chow on passed out guys. They don't remember or even know anything happened. And if they did they would never report being....molested or raped. Drunk chicks are a ticking time bomb. You're just asking to be on the local news.

 

do you mean getting married just to have sex? i would say yes. but (having been married, divorced, and now married again...i'm 26!) i now know that marriage is more than loving and scrogging your partner. it has financial and social issues tied to it...but there is common-law marriage...and let's not forget that no matter how evolved we've become on the subject of single parents, it's still considered a shame (and in some circles, a psychological disaster) to let a child grow with only the one parent.
...you know what? i think it is redundant.

oli: how insulting! and yet, it's a way to get petty revenge on the one that talked too much shmack...hmmm...torn between being a decent person and a scorned woman...

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? Assume you mean the "Sod off" to drunken women... Okay, reverse it. If a guy's pissed out of his head and gives you the come-on, would you do it? (If single?).
It's not "revenge" it's a statement of fact - I don't want to have sex with someone that's not sober enough to appreciate it, and who believes that I'm willing to sleep with her simply because she's available.

 

Interesting. The concept of marriage as a social institution is different in the East than in the West. In the East, you don't just marry your significant other, in effect you marry his culture, his customs, his traditions and his family. The sex is a part of it, but the responsibility to support and fulfil the family is far greater. Of course, with the breakdown in family ties post-Westernization, a lot of couples are moving away from the older ideas, but they are also losing the support systems that enabled them to get through persoanl crises. So while there was rarely ( almost nil in fact) divorce in the older settings, its becoming pretty common now.

 

no, no. i meant what you said about women being unable to judge their limit. it makes me feel torn between playing the part of a helpless witless girlie to get revenge on a guy for whatever petty reason

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or acting my age.
i understand your aversion to drunken women.
...i like when my husband is drunk :bugeye: ...is that unhealthy?

 

aaah. it used to be that way. maybe not that noble. i'd say that my generation has been the worst. but when my parents were my age, it was necessary to make the marriage work because neither had any other choices. kids were usually the first order of business and it's harder with kids. today, couples are getting married younger, and having kids later. it's almost like it's just a piece of paper because if something goes wrong, they can still support themselves, have no kids to worry about, and have party buddies they can fall back on as roomies, to share the weight.
marriage today means nothing to the young ones getting married. it means they can sleep in the same bed and play house. it took a divorce for me to understand what marriage really is suppose to be.

 

Ah, got you. Well the limits thing isn't stated, but that's my take on it. Purely from a self-defence point of view. A guy will not be allowed to use the alchohol excuse under any circumstances... so it sort of pisses me off.
Especially as, like I said somewhere above, women are far more predatory when it comes to sex now than they were when I was originally single.
I think if it's actually made law then there'll be a large number of disappointed women going home on their own on Saturday nights, since the guys won't dare risk it.

Whatever floats your boat. The no sleeping with drunken women thing is my personal stance (even if I'm in a relationship with them!).
And I suppose never having got drunk myself skews my view...

 

Oh yeah. And (personal experience - not hard numbers) about a quarter to a third of the young females are openly (or more accurately - deliberately and ostentatiously) bisexual as well - there seems to be sort of attitude that "if I can have sex, I going to have it with anyone and everyone" going on.

 

Progress in modern science will make men redundant in the future

 

Good, it'll mean I can catch up with my reading and not have to explain every five minutes when I'm trying have a quiet pint why I don't bother any more.

 

Is that supposed to give the impression that scores of attractive women are trying to get it on with you?

The self delusion is worse than I thought

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I never said they were attractive

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. Just single. Like I said, it's "I haven't got anyone to go home with, he'll do". Scores? No, four in one night, tops.