My question is this: Why is does sex carry such an emotionaly burden? Issues over sex end otherwise happy relationships, even marriages. I know of specific cases where a man woul profess his endless love for his girfriend/significant other/partner/whatever, until he hears that she was with one, two, or however many other men (it's always too many), and it ends the relationship. He's hurt because he feels betrayed, she's hurt because he dumped her over something trivial. Old story, happens all the time. But why does it have to happen? What is it that makes it so special?
Listen to your inner self. Sexuality is a wonderful thing and was created by GOD to be enjoyed as a communication device in service of love. Sexuality is not bad. It becomes negative however when it is used by the lower self, or carnal self, or negative ego. Use it in service of the Higher Self, and love, and it becomes a most sacred consecration. Let love rule your life.
As much as I think that god has very little to do with sex other than creating the notion of it. I agree it is a beautiful thing and that when abued it can also be the most terrible thing. But why is an otherwise meaningless act so important in relationships?
To provide a more meaningful perspective and to counteract Pine_net’s religious nonsense – Sex is the primary evolutionary mechanism that has allowed our species to survive. It is a very powerful primeval biological process that most people will find difficult to ignore or control. However, humans have also evolved with an intellect and intelligence that can comprehend concepts such as trust, betrayal, etc. These are also powerful mechanisms. Given two potentially competing powerful biological processes it is inevitable that if one dominates the other then conflicts will occur. Also love and sex have no direct connection, and the term ‘making love’ when referencing sex is unfortunate. There are many couples who cannot have sex for numerous reasons, e.g. physically disabled etc, but their love for each other can be as strong as anyone else’s. Many very elderly people whose sexual capabilities have largely expired also share enormous love for each other. On the other hand many consenting adults understand the pure pleasure that sex can bring and will take part in such activities with the understanding that no other relationship aspects will be involved. Sex is purely for physical pleasure. No other animal can link the sex act with procreation. Love is a set of linked emotions that may or may not involve a desire for sex. A loving couple should clearly understand each other’s perspectives if their relationship is to survive. Unfortunately many do not communicate adequately at the intellectual level and confusion, misunderstandings, and distress will be the result when one side acts contrary to the other’s expectations. Balance the intellectual with the physical expectations and communicate. Cris
Orgasm may be right-brain activity --and from the "Slightly-Related Tangent" department: SOURCE: Neurology 2002;58:302-304. Copyright © 2002 Reuters Limited.
Spntaneous orgasm's? We should all be so lucky. (No offense intended toward the epilleptic community)
!. Why do people allow sex to become some kind of emotional burden? 2. OR... To become so important in a relationship? 1. People do, in fact, allow themselves to believe that sex and emotion are necessarily linked in particular ways, and will argue that this is so based upon his/her own definitions/concepts of what sex or emotion are. Perhaps some would argue more so when the issue becomes clouded by whether or not a partner has previously had sex with someone other than “myself.” The emotions of pride and irrational jealousy come to mind, (as does a conclusion of “futility.” ) Really unclear though in this instance about what previous sexual relationships would have to do with anything, and not willing to make too many assumptions. Having sex with other people while in an otherwise monogamous relationship can certainly create problems, most related to emotion, but not all. Is this proper? Don’t know nearly enough about the relationship in question, but know that it is improper to have ‘on the side’ relationships if doing so has not be completely agreed upon by both parties. And, typically, people in a healthy relationship don’t feel a strong desire to seek sex elsewhere. There are exceptions to everything, but sound reasoning is still required. 2. Again, sex becomes important in some relationships because of how much importance one or both parties place on that aspect of the relationship. The importance may stem from some kind of emotional value, or having sex may be valuable for other reasons. It depends very much on the individuals. It can also become important in a relationship because of the difference of value placed on having sex by either party. These topics can go deep, with tendrils reaching far. Cris makes an excellent point: “Balance the intellectual with the physical expectations and communicate.” Until people are willing (and able?) to think more carefully, then these kinds of ”Why does it happen?” questions will never end, nor will the misconceptions that lead to poor decision-making, or the resulting “heartaches.” I would underscore “communication.” This is the key to solving human relationship problems. Takes two to tango. But why does it happen? It happens because people let it happen. It happens because they don’t understand themselves, others, or even much about the world they live in. Doesn’t mean these people are “bad.” Just means they are as much responsible for the dilemmas they land in as is anyone else, but have somehow failed to grasped that. ~~~ Counterbalance
Didn't i say sexuality? You will have to excuse me for my quick post off the cuff. I was referring to sexuality which encompasses the act of sex, and much more. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I guess it's up to the individual what sex is and is not. Sex, according to Alexander Lowen, founder of the bioenergetic school, is the one area in which we see the union of mind and body. Wilhelm Reich, author of "The Function of the Orgasm and The Sexual Revolution" , sees one of the major thrusts of sex, if I may use that term, to serve the cause of tension-reduction. We build up tension, and then comes orgasm and release, with a renewed flow of energy. Very healthy and helps break down the body amour. And let's not forget Freud’s ingenious notion of the libido. In Tantra Yoga, it is said that the sexual act reveals the spirit and ultimately God. Love ya!
