Racism and dating

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by grazzhoppa, Nov 13, 2002.

  1. grazzhoppa yawwn Valued Senior Member

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    My friends and I were having a discussion whether or not you are racist if you don't like black girls...guys for the woman out there. Is it wrong not to consider another race of people without getting to know them? Not dating them because they are a different color is racist, right? Then why don't we make a big deal about some people not dating a person of certain hair color. This is also a sort of discrimination too, right?

    How about if you don't like dating a person with darker skin, just like you don't like dating someone with red hair or someone that is taller than you?


    The focus is labeling someone racist because of their preferences for the opposite sex.
     
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  3. fadingCaptain are you a robot? Valued Senior Member

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    You are a racist if you say you would never date a black girl because she is black. Period.

    If you say you would never date a red-haired girl because you do not like red hair, you are extremly prejudiced.

    There is a difference between saying:
    a. you usually find x more attractive than y (everyone has preferences)
    b. you would never date x because of whatever stereotype you have formed (racism/extreme prejudice)

    -fc
     
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  5. static76 The Man, The Myth, The Legend Registered Senior Member

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    No, it's not racist, in normal situations anyway. We all have our preferences in who we choose to date. If some feel that another race is not compatible with them in the dating circle, I see nothing wrong with that.

    However, the reasons for not dating outside their race should also be taken into account. For example, there is a big difference between a Latina girl who doesn't click or have much in common with White guys, as compared to a women in the KKK who doesn't date Jews because she thinks they're subhuman...
     
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  7. grazzhoppa yawwn Valued Senior Member

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    What about if you don't like someone with dark skin, just because of their skin.....this includes very tanned caucasians. Would that be prejudice?
     
  8. static76 The Man, The Myth, The Legend Registered Senior Member

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    There is a difference between not liking someone with dark skin, as compared to not wanting to date someone with dark skin. Once again though..., the reasons the person has for this way of thinking, must also be taken into account.
     
  9. Adam §Þ@ç€ MØnk€¥ Registered Senior Member

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    Everyone has preferences. Denying them is silly. I fins certain things more attractive than other things, and obviously try to find more of those attractive things in a date rather than less. Personally I think there are attractive girls from everywhere. But there are also butt-ugly girls from everywhere. I recall this one time when I was very drunk in Fremantle...
     
  10. spookz Banned Banned

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    chickenassshit

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  11. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    You like who you like. Am I a misogynist because I wouldn't date a woman?

    And since when was being racist the cardinal sin of all sins?
     
  12. spookz Banned Banned

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    exactly.
    i just wish hitler was allowed to finish what he started!
    the world would be such a better place without these frigging kikes
     
  13. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    Hitler's problem was that he didn't go far enough. He stuck to wanting to exterminate the Jews. Excuse me? The JEWS? How many fucking Jews are there?

    Now if he'd tried to exterminate all the stupid people, he'd be a real hero.
     
  14. spookz Banned Banned

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    exactly.
    i just wish genghis was allowed to finish what he started!
    the world would be such a better place without these frigging crackers
     
  15. goofyfish Prodigal Son Valued Senior Member

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    I saw a bumper sticker on the way to work this morning: “Love is color blind". That is simply not true. If it were, this topic would not exist, and I would not have a tale to tell.

    This thread stirred some uncomfortable memories that I had left buried. Race is an institution that this country refuses to confront in a manner that alleviates the problems that occur within interracial relationships. I dated a black girl when I was 19. I was not gifted with special enlightenment at that tender age, I just found her attractive and I asked her out. We were unable to stay together, and I am ashamed to say that the reason was bigotry. Not by myself or our families or our friends, but by everyday encounters. I was not strong enough to stand up to social pressure.

    Interracial dating can expose some of the most painful elements of racism -- and I let our relationship fail because I was overly concerned with strangers' reactions to my choice of girlfriends. The stares, the glares, the verbal attacks, “Why I don’t you just stick to your own kind.” Blacks and whites were equally guilty. Shame on them. I broke up with a wonderful girl because I was weak. I regret it to this day even though, race aside, I don’t believe we would have spent our lives together. I regret it because I was weak and caved to social pressure. I regret it because I hurt an attractive, intelligent woman, and lied to her as to why. She deserved better; shame on me.

    There are enough problems in the world already, and I say that people should pursue life-enhancing, life-affirming relationships with whomever they can.

    Peace.

    __________________
    Youth is the first victim of war - the first fruit of peace.
    It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man;
    it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him.
    • -- King Boudewijn I, King of Belgium (1934-1993)
     
  16. Adam §Þ@ç€ MØnk€¥ Registered Senior Member

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    An Indonesian girl I know used to be terrified of white people. When young, she and her sister had the odd idea that white people would bite and/or eat her. :bugeye: She said that once her parents took them to a city, and it was the first time they saw white folks, and she and her sister just hugged and screamed. Damn funny.

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  17. spookz Banned Banned

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    ever since the riots
    all i really wanted
    was a black girlfriend
    they don't play around
    they're hard enough
    to keep any man in line
    thinking of my pale white skin
    thinking of her dark and smooth
    she against me
    my black girlfriend
    saw her on the corner
    where she lived, i asked her
    "can you braid my hair?"
    she and her girlfriends
    laughed at me, said that
    "it was easy but it'll cost you some"
    looking out her window
    it's so exciting and foreign
    but i'm staying with
    my black girlfriend
    drivin' thru the hood
    in my chevy nova '62
    my arm around my
    little black girl
    people on the corner
    looking in my car
    wanna do me
    but i won't give her back
    my little black girl
    "do you wanna come on in?
    do you wanna eat some?
    meet my family?"
    my black girlfriend

    pfp - black girlfriend



    lmao
     
  18. grazzhoppa yawwn Valued Senior Member

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    1,277
    The same thing happened with me but 4 years younger...so I was still in high school, boy, did we get a lot crap said to us.

    That's the reason why I started this...I was questioning whether or not I was racist because I wouldn't date a black girl again, not because the girl is black, but because I wouldn't be able to handle the amount of pressure others put on me.

    Off topic a little but....
    I believe love is blind because when you love someone, nothing should matter but being with them. According to me, not many people have actually ever loved someone. Something I realized just recently is love takes a while.

    edit----

    You don't know how many times I heard that....it's very sad.
     
  19. aseedrain Registered Senior Member

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    "why don't you stick to your own kind"

    I had the same problem while I was dating. Same problem after I got married. But once we had our child, they more or less left us alone. I'm guessing it's because they see no point in saying it to your face as you already have a family. But that doesn't mean they aren't thinking about it.

    Sometimes, you can just tell by their stares...
     
  20. grazzhoppa yawwn Valued Senior Member

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    1,277
  21. Pollux V Ra Bless America Registered Senior Member

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    6,495
    Two pennies

    Diversity is extremely rare where I live. There are a few blacks, a few latinos, a few asian kids, then a few hundred white caucasians. Besides me, I think there's one or two jewish kids, and I believe that they actually practice their religion.

    Before I lived in Maine I grew up in Brooklyn, and things were extremely different there, a sweep of the room would garner every race you could ever ask for, the whites might even be the minority. So I was born into diversity, and was never bothered by it. It just comes down to what you consider pretty and what you don't, and this varies from person to person.

    I wish I could say the same for my beleagured classmates. Not too many of them have grown up outside of this humble residence, which means that they have had little or no experience with diversity on a large scale. They talk about blacks not necessarily in a derogatory way (they're afraid of being labelled racists of course, fear is all that keeps some of them in check) but as if they are a totally different type of human, like they think differently, act differently, as if they are really different, when in reality all that makes them different is the color of their skin.

    It may only be their rampant stupidity, a conversation somehow started up in my "math class for dummies" about what you do if a black person smiles at you. They were dumbfounded, they could hardly grasp the very action of looking at a black person, for fear of them thinking that they were racist, when in reality they were only inexperienced. I simply replied:
    "Like any person who smiles at you, you smile back."

    When I went on "that cruise" to mexico over july my family and I sat down next to a young black couple, I've gotta confess it had been awhile since I had interacted with anyone of another race, and at first I was a bit uncomfortable, which I regret now more than anything--but fifteen minutes into our conversations I was laughing at their jokes and they were laughing at mine. I remember the woman being especially attractive.
     
  22. spookz Banned Banned

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    goofy pollux
     
  23. Datura surrender to nothing Registered Senior Member

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    161
    Your story had nothing to do with love. True love is indeed colorblind and I think that slogan is meant to apply on the grand scheme of things.
     

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