A silly idea that just occured to me is that people who keep a messy room or house and only clean it when authority figures are going to be there do so because they need human contact at a certain level. It isn't the punishment, the yelling, the conflict. It is the contact. Many people are only open on that vital level when they are angry. Some only feel alive when they are in conflict, but it isn't the conflict. It is the contact that they are denied, that recognition that they are someone. You can't just be told that you are someone. You have to feel it. Actually, this is an old idea and very true. It just seemed like the right time to mention it today. Giving people gifts, like giving your mother gifts for Mother's day, is a way to facilitate contact and prepare them mentally for it.