Pre marital Sex - Why or Why not?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by aaqucnaona, Dec 24, 2011.

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Read OP first! Pre-Marital Sex, yes or no? [Explain Below]

  1. Yes

    72.2%
  2. No

    27.8%
  1. aaqucnaona This sentence is a lie Valued Senior Member

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    1,620
    My point exactly. I dont see why Rex or Bells disagree with this.
     
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  3. aaqucnaona This sentence is a lie Valued Senior Member

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    Time to lighten the mood a little:

    Two cowboys are out on the range, talking about their favorite sex
    positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

    "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy.
    "What is it?"

    "Well," the first cowboy replied, "it's where you get
    your girlfriend down on all fours and you mount her from behind,
    and then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your
    hands, and then you whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like
    your sisters' ...and then you try to hold on for 8 seconds!"
     
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  5. Bells Staff Member

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    I don't disagree with it. I just think it is silly to have made this decision now, before you even meet anyone, as though it is agiven. You cannot know now what you will want in a few years time.

    Sex is an important part of any relationship. You're not into casual sex? Great. But saying that you are not going to have sex with someone until you are sure that that individual is going to be someone you want to be with for the long term or wish to marry and then not having sex with them until you start said relationship.. What happens if you are sexually incompatible? What happens if she/he does not agree with you?

    There are a lot of what if's.

    My advice? Get there first and then decide.
     
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  7. aaqucnaona This sentence is a lie Valued Senior Member

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    Ok, thats fine. This is just what I think right now - its not a rigid rule, I will modify it if required in a relationship later on.
     
  8. billvon Valued Senior Member

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    20,367
    Who said anything about one person? Between 100% monogamy and casual sex there's a whole world out there.
     
  9. Telemachus Rex Protesting Mod Stupidity Registered Senior Member

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    249
    I don't really disagree with that, as I was arguing against premarital sex being off the table. As I said, sex is better within a relationship.

    That said, having more sex with multiple partners (for clarity, all of whom might be partners with whom one is very serious) does confer some benefits too. Limiting sexual partners limits health risk (which can be effectively limited in other ways too, though) and confers the benefit of a sense of increased intimacy with those you do have sex with.

    My personal opinion is that that boost in intimacy somewhat minor relative to the benefits of being a skilled sexual partner, and that skill comes from experience. I'm sure that varies from person to person, but most couples don't dwell on the number of partners one had in prior relationships, so that number, be it high or low, is easy to set aside for most people (plus, many if not most people lie about that number for one reason or another).

    None of which is to say that anyone should necessarily maximize the number of sexual partners, but it does suggest countervailing considerations that should be considered.
     
  10. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    15,058
    You're just being cowardly.

    You are willing to kill and die in the name of sex, but you refuse to discuss how and why.

    Yeah, totally the mark of an intelligent person.

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  11. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    15,058
    It depends on what one's values are.

    How can two people be sexually incompatible, but be compatible in other ways? It is not possible.
     
  12. gmilam Valued Senior Member

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    3,349
    LOL - That's funny!
     
  13. scheherazade Northern Horse Whisperer Valued Senior Member

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    3,798
    You have just described every other relationship that humans enter into.
    The suggestion is that unless people are sexually compatible that they can't be compatible in other ways.

    The English language provides many opportunities for ambiguous entertainment.
     
  14. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,058
    So you find it meaningful that two people, regardless of their values and goals in life, ought to go and have sex, and if they find they are "sexually compatible," they will be compatible in every other way - even if one is a Nazi and the other a Jew, or one a Republican and the other a Democrat etc.?
     
  15. scheherazade Northern Horse Whisperer Valued Senior Member

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    3,798
    Wynn,

    Your questions do not resonate with my thought processes.

    Calling me unintelligent, cowardly and Ms. Pokerface does not incline me toward investing considerable time and thought in debating your remarks.

    There is an old saying, "You will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
     
  16. gmilam Valued Senior Member

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    3,349
    Your reading comprehension seems to have deteriorated lately... Where did anyone even imply that being sexually compatible makes people compatible in every other way? Seriously, this makes even less sense than your previous assertion that it's impossible to be compatible in other ways but sexually incompatible...
     
  17. Telemachus Rex Protesting Mod Stupidity Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    249
    I am a guy. Many of my best friends are also guys. I am heterosexual, though, therefore my guy friends and I are NOT sexually compatible yet we ARE compatible in other ways.

    So, clearly, it is possible.

    Moreover, I have been in relationships with women to whom I was attracted where we had an emotional connection but were sexually incompatible (because we had different preferences regarding styles, specific activities, frequency, degrees of sexual experimentation, etc.).
     
  18. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    6,493
    That's not what I thought was being said. But do you have a problem with people who are attracted to each other having sex while they find out how many other things they have in common? I actually think filling out an accurate profile with a few pictures of yourself and let companies like Match, display best selections based on your profile. It may not be a perfect system but it does a lot of filtering for you. Not many people will fill out a profile and pay a service if they are not ready for a relationship. That alone is a big plus.
     
  19. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    23,049
    You actually use Internet dating? I've always thought there was something rather desperate about using things like that. Admittedly if PB and I broke up or she died I wouldn't even know where to start to attract someone else or know if they were interested so *shrug*. We have been together so long I wouldn't even know where to start dating again

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  20. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    A lot of people don't have a lot of time or energy to get out and look for a mate like they did when they were young and somewhat inexperienced. Most are working a full time job and may even have kids to watch and take care of. Maybe they have lot's of friends that can help them meet people, but I'm betting that's not the case for most people. If you are a middle aged guy such as yourself and for whatever reason you become single again and want to find a new relationship. How much time do you have to invest in that endeavor and where do you go to find a selection of interested and potentially compatible women that will appeal to you? I bet your not really thinking of finding a bar for the older crowd are you and if your not very religious, churches are out. So where do you look?

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  21. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    Umm im currently at uni and studying to be a paramedic and therefore around nurses, paramedics and cops all day. I would HOPE that i wouldn't have any problem meeting people, its the thought of DATING which scares the hell out of me

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    BTW that does mean im working shift work with all the issues that comes with. That and what we actually see for a living means its better to date in house with people who understand why when you have spent a day cleaning up a kid splattered across a wall because mummy doesnt know what a seatbelt is and its 7:00 and you have just FINISHED work, its nice to have a partner (or a date) who understands this rather than someone whos idea of a hard day is an annoying customer or a computer virus
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2011
  22. Bells Staff Member

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    24,062
    Of course it's possible.

    Sometimes a couple can click in every other way except sexually. I'd imagine it was actually quite common. Women wouldn't be faking orgasms in long term if it was not possible..
     
  23. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    6,493
    For you, you might be right, I think a good women is where ever you can find her, and good matches are found at work. It's actually a fairly high percentage.
     

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