Pre marital Sex - Why or Why not?

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All of this seems to be good reasons to be careful about with whom you sleep, not a prohibition against pre-marital sex. Your first point seems to make that directly by stating that what matters is how long you are going to be together. Once you know you are serious and intend a long term commitment (and religious considerations aside), marriage is just a piece of paper.

Marriage doesn't generate any new emotions, so the emotional underpinnings of a relationship are identical for a couple that is about to get married and one that has just gotten married.

On the other side, though, not every two people are sexually compatible. By some estimates nearly half of women are incapable of achieving orgasm, and such women may find it difficult to be with men with highly active sex drives. Plus, as with everything, many people just have different tastes. It seems to me despite the erstwhile taboos, people need to have pre-marital sex to determine if this vital and important part of marriage will work for them as a couple.

To go even further, though, if two virgins meet and have sex for the first time, they will come away from the experience having little idea of what they like or dislike about sex. Sex is a skill, like any other, and skills take, on average 10,000 hours of practice to master (or so some say). If you were with one and only one partner for life, however, your ability to explore and improve will be limited. It may ordinarily take 10,000 hours to become great at chess, but if you only ever play against one opponent, your skills are very likely to be somewhat limited (especially if your opponent has only ever played against you).

So not only is it good to have pre-marital sex to determine your sexual compatibility, but it's good to have multiple partners before marriage because (A) it helps you determine what things you like or do not like and (B) it helps you improve your own skills and techniques which will increase the likelihood that your spouse will have a sexually satisfying experience with you.

 

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Well said.

 

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Getting legal arrangements done really wigged me out severely.
Yes I was serious about her.
But I found commitment terrifying.

:shrug: Just saying.

 

Right on.

I was homicidally ideating after three days of tricyclen. Also had whole-body aches.

Ortho-cyclen made me nauseous to the point of *almost* throwing up in the morning, then wanting very much to kill myself in the afternoon. I was hoping if I kept taking it my body would adjust. I could not persuade myself to keep taking it or to try anything else hormonal thereafter.

When I lived with a guy for a year and a half or so we used condoms and were ok. I'd say use a condom and a vaginal contraceptive film, and you have virtually no risk of pregnancy.

 

OMG! Bells and Chimpkin are females! How the hell is one supposed to know whos man and female on sciforums!

 

I would say stick around for awhile, and you'll find out more than who's female around here. I will say that this forum has more women than at least two other science forums I've been on.

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Marriage is a piece of paper. A legally binding contract. Nothing more to it.
Vows are made in your heart.

 

I had to keep smuggling mine from Brazil.
Healthy, low dosage oral contraceptives are illegal here in backward land.

 

How about choosing pronouns?

 

Well said, KillJoy?
How long since you two have been adolescents? Emotinal distress, depression, post breakup social trouble, ring a bell? And you suggest I go around boning girls to "imporve my skills and techniques"? Its not just sex you know. Its a relationship, you have to work on whether or long it will last before to try and decide "what things you like or do not like".
Btw, I dont care for marriage, it can be a live in or anything, its just got to last, be almost permanent.

 

Third-person singular "they," though it makes my inner grammar Nazi cringe, seems to be morphing into a gender-neutral pronoun.
One sci-fi writer used "per," short for person, as a gender-neutral pronoun.
I rather like that one. Ze and hir never seemed to have caught on.

At one of the transgender sites I have been to, you list your preferred pronoun.

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S.A.M calls me he/she...which totally warms the cockles of my heart...

 

I never said anything denigrating the relationships (in fact, notice that I said you should improve your skill to enhance your spouse's enjoyment, not your own; remedial reading comprehension would help you greatly).

I was answering honestly and respectfully, but nice to know that you're a jackass who doesn't want to have a frank conversation, but only wants to hear answers that parrot back his own juvenile view of human sexuality. So much so, that I apparently offended you by disagreeing.

Well, guess what, jackass? I agree with you that sex in a committed relationship is better than sex outside of it. That wasn't your fucking question in the OP though, was it? No. You asked about "premarital" sex, which can be sex within the confines of a long term committed (but non-marital) relationship.

If that wasn't what you wanted to ask about, moron, then learn to write what you mean.

 

All after:

You can criticize other people's grammar when you learn to write, son. In particular, learn the difference between "it's" and "its." And if you are going to use quotation marks, don't add misspellings into the quote unless the person quoted made the mistake first. I would add that it's fine to miss the apostrophe in posting on a message board. It's no big deal, but don't do it and then criticize others for writing informally.

 

Ok, sorry. I didn't mean it that way. And yes, but what other title would I give it? I said "marriage or not" in the OP.
No I am not offended that you didn't "parrot back my views", I am offended because you gave the impression that you dont care for relationships. But you cleared that up in your very first statement.
Between that, the rest of your post seems to be unnecessary swearing [think what the parrot would say when guests are over!].
Come on, cheer up and lose the anger.

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eace:

 

Because the god Sigmund Freud must be appeased!
No sacrifice is too big.
Everyone must kill and die for Sigmund Freud!!

 

Duh. The man was just being practical and realistic, and tried to get the big questions cleared right away. Why spend time with someone who doesn't have compatible values as oneself.