Porn and your relationship

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Syzygys, Nov 7, 2007.

  1. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Thats an interesting viewpoint.
     
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  3. madanthonywayne Morning in America Staff Member

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    If anyone is obsessed with porn, it's you! To me, it's no big deal. Masturbation is simply a natural relief, like scratching an itch. No more significant than that. As Bells said:
    I'd say this describes my relationship as well. Not every women is as militant or threatened by what her man does to relieve tension when she's not in the mood as you. For most of us, it's no big deal.

    Now as to the quote about the need for porn that you are so obsessed with. A couple quotes from this thread to illustrate the point:
    The normal and natural assumption is that a man will "take matters into his own hands" at certain times such as the situations above. It is at such times that the need for porn arises. Without it, you get behavior like the idiot trying to force sex on his wife as she recovers from surgery. Or maybe adultery, prostitution, something much worse than looking at a naked picture of someone on the internet.
     
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  5. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    I think this is misguided. Porn shouldn't be "okay because otherwise x will happen." Assholes who don't respect women's autonomy are going to be assholes who don't respect women's autonomy whether or not they have outlets for sex besides women.

    Porn shouldn't be something that people have to scramble to justify. What you do on your own time with your own money is, well, yours.
     
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  7. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    Perhaps. But you're failing to take into account the differing degrees of being an asshole. Without sex, an asshole might be highly abusive; but with plenty of sex (or masturbation), the asshole might not be, or be less, abusive than the other. Both are assholes, but they're different in behavior.

    Porno is no different to most anything else we do in life ...sure, we not not HAVE TO justify it, but that's the way humans and social interaction works. Those who take you attitude to things are usually considered sociopaths.

    Baron Max
     
  8. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Single guy can do anything he wants....I don't have to live with him.

    I don't get your question :shrug:
     
  9. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    I agree! It almost sounds like a threat to me. Like if I don't get my porn I will go and do (X)

    Madanthony....I am going to say this for the last time. I DO NOT have an issue with him masturbating. Like I said I will sometimes even help out.

    My issue is with the Porn. I really don't care what you think. Because frankly ever since you said that your relationship with your wife wouldn't stand a chance without the porn, I don't think much of you. If my b/f said to me....our relationship sucks, it won't last unless you let me have my porn, I would say well you go find yourself a woman who will watch it with you ....goodbye.
     
  10. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    Possibly, and they might be more abusive if satisfied in one need.

    Oh my, pot paging kettle. For someone who insists that his online persona is a fiction, you're quite ready to believe that other people are as real as they say they are.

    But that's besides the point. I'm simply arguing that people should look to their own lives rather than insisting that others alter theirs. Live and let live.

    Obviously a horrible stance to take.
     
  11. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    *Shrug*
    Like I said to Max, I don't understand why people have to justify porn so. If you like it, you like it, and that's fine. But following that up with "I like porn AND it decreases rape AND it is a healthy outlet AND it cures cancer in small children!" is just more thn you need to do.

    On the other hand, while I don't like porn or beets, I wouldn't stay with someone who insisted that I give up either for them.
     
  12. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    Nope, just reacting to the words on the screen, not to the "fake persona" that might have typed those words. ...just like I enjoy a good novel without knowing the author personally.

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    No, it's not a "horrible stance", it's highly idealistic stance. I don't think society could actually function if we all followed that ideal. Could anything ever get built? Could anything actually function once it was built? (Hey, that might be a good topic for discussion on some other forum, huh?)

    Porno? I didn't think of it 'til just now, but ...If a man's wife watched porno a lot, would he be comfortable with it? The women here have talked mostly about their boyfriend or husband, but ...what about the other way 'round?

    Baron Max
     
  13. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    I bet all the guys say it would be perfectly ok with them

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  14. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    Yeah, Shorty, they might "say" that, but I think they might have some different feelings about it.

    They might say it was okay as long as it got her "in the mood" for sex with HIM. But if he was left out of the picture, he might not like it at all.

    Baron Max
     
  15. Strap_ON Registered Member

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    Arent women usually always left out of the picture? So men would feel the same as what women do?! What if the women was secretative about it? Would the man be pissed off by this?
     
  16. Baron Max Registered Senior Member

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    No, they aren't. Mostly men watch porno and get hot n' horny ...and usually have to masturbate because his wife/girlfriend won't fuck him as much as he wants!

    What men don't know usually won't hurt them. If he don't know, what's to be pissed about?

    Baron Max
     
  17. Letticia Registered Senior Member

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    Considering that two of my vibrators were gifts from my husband, I would say he is entirely secure about the concept. When we watch porn together, it involves naked men as well as naked women (wouldn't be much fun for me otherwise!), and if it affected him negatively, I think I'd notice.

    I do not watch porn without my husband, but I read erotica (a.k.a. "written porn"). If I happen to be horny when he is not around, it helps me masturbate. Just like visual porn helps him when I am not available. As I said, some (possibly most) of his porn does not interest/excite me, but it does not bother me either. Although I could easily think of some that would.

    I am inclined to agree. The slogan "Just Say No To Porn" is kind of indicative. Shorty_37 clearly does not enjoy porn of ANY kind, and does not see why anyone else would. Well, some of us do -- and yes, men more than women. I think Shorty_37's question "Why do you need it?" is telling. She assumes that anyone who watches/reads porn needs it. I am sure some (men) do need it, just like some people are addicted to chocolate, but I like it. And I happen to agree with Xev -- I should not have to justify my, or my husband's, porn indulgement any more than my chocolate indulgement.

    Alcohol, gambling, cheesecake, video games, porn -- many things are enjoyable in moderation, yet can conceivably take over your life and ruin you financially or in other ways. I think outlawing any of them is a bad idea. There is a reason it is usually done in places like Iran and Soviet Union.
     
  18. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Yeah or if the guys she was watching had a 9 inch dick and he had a little bitty one!!

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  19. Strap_ON Registered Member

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    I use to watch gay porn to piss my ex bf off!
     
  20. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Listen my Say no to porn slogan is a JOKE!!!

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    I don't think you know me all that well and don't get how sarcastic I am. Anyway I don't really care what you guys do. I don't have to live with you. It just isn't for me. Just for all those offended I will change it.

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    The only thing that pisses me off is when a guy says what Madanthony did.

    A relationship doesn't stand a chance without porn!

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    Looking at other naked women and porn in general should not be a MUST for a relationship to work. That is Fucked up!
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2007
  21. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Why did it piss him off?
     
  22. Strap_ON Registered Member

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    Cause he use to watch porn all the time and tried to get me into, so I decided to pretend to love gay porn - he use to hate it because there were no women to gawp at and got very jealous cause I was only looking at guys. It was weird - but he certainly hated it!
     
  23. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Good for you lol
     

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