"People are miserable because they want to be miserable" - T or F?

I can be both content that pizza is an option and disappointed that it's taking so long to arrive. But I know the disappointment is only relative to how hungry I am.

 

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Why expect they will be on time? Doesn't this guarantee a few emotional losses along the way. Wouldn't it be better to simply say you may or may not get the pizza?

But yes realistically, hunger is one of the most powerful forces.

 

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Clinging is an act of will.

As such, yor explanation agrees with the OP question.

 

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A robot might pull this off ...

 

Clinging is not an act of will.

Such as it is not my choice I fell in love with her, or my choice to feel sad when my photo-book is destroyed. I am not talking about literally toilet paper clinging to an ass. Rather than cling, we can use 'attached to'

A robot does pull it off.

Humans can too - to a lesser degree and with more difficulty of course.

 

If clinging or attachment are not acts of will, then it is not clear how they can be overcome.

 

And reality is realist by nature.

 

Ah I see what you mean. Just as breathing is normally not controlled, it can be with the right focus.

 

Exactly.

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Yes, but is it worth the time and energy to do so? In your pizza example a small disappointment over delayed delivery is not worth much time and effort. However if you have anger management problems that cause injury to others or just plain makes you look like a fool to others, yeah, it's worth the time and energy.

 

People from Scandinavia often have this trait, the wallow in melancholy, uphold it in triumphant glory.

 

um..yes it was your choice to love her or to be sad when your photobook is destroyed..

it is all dependent on how your are thinking about the situation. (positive thoughts vs negative thoughts)

if you say you do not have a choice to love her, you are saying you have no choice but to think what you think..

which would she like better..for you to proclaim you have no choice but to love her or to tell her everyday that you choose to love her (remind yourself of this when you are mad at her)..

we are not always gonna love the one we are with,
it pays to remember it is a choice.

"I love you, but i really don't like you right now"

 

I like the way you are thinking here, and would like to add that people can do a lot of advance planning about how they are going to feel and respond to situations. Most people claim they don't have any control over their feelings in relationships, but that's always an excuse for responding badly to a situation you could have foreseen and planned for ahead time.

Think about it this way if you've responded bad to similar situations that's your significant others pushing your known (get pissed off button). If your out driving, do you ever respond with road rage? The best way to stop that is to watch someone else responding that way and realize “do I look that way to others?”

One trick to getting rid of negative thoughts is smiling. It's very hard to smile and have negative thoughts at the same time. It can be done but you really have to work at it.

 

the older you get the easier it is to see how futile and detrimental an emotional outburts really is..
but that doesn't mean don't communicate your emotional state of being..find a way to describe it rather than trying to show it..

 

Well I guess I'm talking to an old guy then, because you wouldn't say what you just did otherwise. Whoever said getting old wasn't for sissies really knew what what he was talking about and without a sense of humor it's a whole lot worse.

 

is 48 old?

 

I've been seeing that since I was about 33.
Seeing it is easy.
But stopping it requires a whole array of learned behaviors.
Not so easy.

 

I considered my 40's decade to be my second best decade just behind my 30's, but at 48 your eyes aren't what they used to be and the decrease in physical strength is becoming more noticeable and keeping the weight off is getting a bit tougher. If you have kids you are getting excited about them leaving home. Retirement may be a few years away but it probably comes up more in your thoughts than it used to. But I sense you've been adjusting your attitude to meet getting older head on. ((

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D)))

 

Well, as far as the physical strength, you have to work out more and/or harder to maintain strength and flexibility.

As witness Stoniphi-almost double my age and he could run my wimpy one-mile-run ass into the ground...and probably most people's.

I got glasses as a teen, I like glasses. They keep crap out of my eyes!
Oh, and I have found eating a raw red beet a day gives me outrageously good dark vision.

 

Some time ago I worked with a 55 year old woman that averaged at least 2 marathon runs a year and just to stay in shape she did 3 10K's per week. I hate to say it but that was way beyond my energy level. But I don't have a problem going to the gym 3 times a week. I can work out with machines that don't jar and stress the joints.