"People are miserable because they want to be miserable" - T or F?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by wynn, Apr 30, 2011.

  1. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    "People are miserable because they want to be miserable" - true or false?


    Discuss!
     
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  3. SciWriter Valued Senior Member

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    True, for the most part, when the misery is escapable, as it seems to keep a focus on one's self as a victim, they then not having to do anything about it. It helps to have the miserable as company, too, trading war stories, to remain mired, and to watch TV shows and movies about victims, such as they have on the Lifetime channel in the US.
     
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  5. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    I think it is true. The scary, ugly thing about it that one might not want to admit it.
    Who in their right mind would bring suffering upon themselves, right?

    I think we'd like to think that because we are unhappy, miserable, defenseless - this will also make us safe, good and innocent.
    "I am depressed. Surely no dog will bite me."

    But life is not like that.

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  7. YoYoPapaya Trump/Norris - 2012 Registered Senior Member

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    Here's an article with some relevant information:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7278853.stm

    It says something like 50% genetics, (only) 10% circumstance and 40% we can influence ourselves with "positive thinking" stuff.

    So your statement is 40% correct according to the study.
     
  8. Bebelina kospla.com Valued Senior Member

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    It's both, true because the desire to feel misery is often established at a very young age, and therefore it is also false, because we did not chose our upbringing. But then again, seen from another point of view, some say we do, but from that angle everything is our own fault, so don't go there unless you are willing to accept that.
     
  9. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    You mean to say that feeling miserable despite your miserable circumstances is a choice?
    If not, then the answer is, obviously, "false".
    And if so, I'm still not convinced..
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2011
  10. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    False, Because Life is Miserable . You don't have to look to far to see this . Take a little trip to your local slums and wake up from you delusions . You can think your self not miserable and live in la la land , but the thing is those people living in misery are a reflection of you . They are a barometer of society as a whole. Your darkness manifested you deny. So hide your self in a closet , put your head in the sand and say everything is O.K. Then you can let every thing be the way it is . I choose a different direction my self . Identify and destroy the misery . Starting with Haiti ( Say it out loud , It makes a difference , Wood for Haiti )
     
  11. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    That is what I am talking about . Nice to see someone is awake and alert .
    Sorry Fraggle for my double post . My bad
     
  12. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

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    Learn the meaning of dependence . WE all are. Go milk your own cow if you don't know this
     
  13. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Circumstances dictate, in many peoples lives, as to the misery they encounter during their existence. But not knowing what your missing helps alleviate some of those miseries. Some people live in tribes who never know much about the world outside their own. Others live in societies that tell them what they must do, wear, own and believe to be without misery.
     
  14. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    3,714
    False, nobody desires misery. But not everyone is able to achieve the goals that make them happy.
     
  15. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

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    True,
    ppl have a comfort zone when it comes to struggle..
    we can thank our parents for that..
    some things can be overcome,some things cannot(most with help)..
    it doesn't do much good to focus on what one cannot do..
    sheep can't ask other sheep for help.

    False,
    there is a percentage of ppl who are miserable because others won't help them not be miserable,(limited resources)

    or created their own misery by disobeying laws,
    but this doesn't qualify for 'Want' to be miserable.(although even prisoners have their comfort zones in prison)

    Do i create more struggle than is necessary for myself?
    absofrigginlutely..
    ADHD, maybe a touch of bi-polar,i have delusions of inadequacy (i think i am screwed up in ways that i am not)
    being ADHD makes me an overthinker, not always positive/beneficial thinking..
    so the question of 'learn to take care of yourself' requires parameters.

    humans require interaction with other humans to be healthy, what better way to interact than to help someone overcome a struggle. (see limited resources)
     
  16. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    10,848
    If you are the type who 'want to be miserabal' do you also "Like" feeing this way?.

    peace.
     
  17. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    15,058
    Although formulating it as "People are miserable because they want to be miserable" is a bit crude, I still think it is basically true.

    Pain is for the most part not optional - sooner or later, we become sick, hit by a stray bullet in a drive-by shooting, or our house is in the path of a tornado, or something like that.

    But to think that how we respond to those events is beyond our control - this is totally disempowering.
    By "respond" I mean primarily how we think, and partly, feel about them.

    Being miserable, ie. suffering, is optional. To believe otherwise is to be a fatalist.
     
  18. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    Do you think these peope Enjoy feeling Miserable? as in that it is not negative for them because it brings them joy?.

    If no then why do you guess they choose to remain miserable?, Self destructive it would seem.

    Peace/
     
  19. KilljoyKlown Whatever Valued Senior Member

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    For conscious people it's false, but subconsciously speaking it's probably true. I'm sure everyone's heard the saying “misery loves company”. Not only have most of you heard that saying but most of you have first hand experience with that effect. It's natural to empathize with others that have had like experiences and feelings. But what consciously thinking person would ever go looking to spend time with another miserable person.
     
  20. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    15,058
    In a perverse sense, we could say does bring them "joy" - in the sense that they feel justified to feel miserable.

    But -

    "People are miserable because they want to be miserable" is a conflation of a description and an instruction.
    Such conflations, although quite common, can be tricky to understand.

    I focus on the instruction part of it, which is something like -
    "When your're suffering, seek a way out."
     
  21. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    10,848
    I would simply not be miserable because it's negative and is self destructive.

    peace.
     
  22. Jdk5191 Registered Member

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    41
    True, but not directly, you don't choose to pull your hand off of a hot stove, it's a reaction, to a lack of happiness, which can be caused by any number of things, it's yin and yang, no shadows without light. regardless i have to give my opinion on misery, it's the body's way of saying, i don't want to live any more, i consider myself a pessimist, but misery isn't in my nature, to dwell on a mistake is a mistake in itself, even with a complete lack of any intelligence (compared to people), most animals will not do something that affects them negatively twice, so to dwell and loathe a situation in the past is as ridiculous as the idea of bringing someone back from the dead so they can live again conflabbit
     
  23. Search & Destroy Take one bite at a time Moderator

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    1,467
    False.

    Misery results from clinging to something that inevitably changes. People cling because they falsely assume it will bring them happiness. Romance is rich with examples.

    Nothing good lasts forever, and miserable people expect otherwise. Broken expectations can create negative emotions which in turn produce miserable attitudes.

    When the pizza guy is 20 minutes late, people get upset. But instead they should be content that pizza is even an option.

    And lastly, let's not confuse words with serious chemical imbalances.

    Agreed.
     

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