Parting Words?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Bowser, Apr 12, 2019.

  1. Bowser Right Here, Right Now Valued Senior Member

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    7,770
    At the conclusion of a long relationship , should one be bitter or happy? What words would you offer to the other on your way out the door?
     
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  3. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    As with all such things, it is necessarily dependent on the unique circumstances of that relationship.
     
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  5. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    You don't always know it's the end. My brother died suddenly at an early age and a wise 20-year-old told me, "Don't be sad that he's gone. Be glad that he was here." We should probably treat every parting as if it might be the last.
     
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  7. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    what is your purpose ?
     
  8. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    It doesn't matter how you should feel ; that doesn't make the slightest difference to how you do feel.
    One relationship I ended as kindly as possible; another drowned in mutual recriminations; to one I wrote a sad letter; another time, I received an apologetic letter.
    It happens how it happens, and your words are the vocabulary of your age, gender, literary bent and current emotional state.
     
  9. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    32,302
    It depends on the relationship. You can be both bitter about some things and happy about others. What happened happened. You have no choice but to deal with it, either way, and accept that it has ended.

    In my experience, relationships are messy. Human beings are complicated. Lots of relationships don't have neat endings and final words. Rather, they trail off as people go their separate ways, so that sometimes neither party can recall later when it was that the relationship ended, exactly. There isn't always closure. Things remain unsaid. You don't always get an opportunity to say what you want to say, and if you do you say it you don't always get the reaction you expect. Relationships can also end in one-sided ways. Somebody dies, or somebody calls a halt, when the other person isn't ready. There often is no mutual amicable agreement to part company; one person is left hanging.

    Relationships have so many variations that the words you offer will be different each time, if you even get the opportunity to close things off with neat words. There's no general advice I can give, other than to say that each moment only happens once. All you get to choose is what you choose now.
     
  10. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    2,245
    what is on offer ?
    what is on offer and what is perceived to be available are worlds apart.
    what is desired & what is offered & what is available, yet again, worlds apart.

    thoughts...
    if what is being offered is generic, then there is no offer to the individual (other than atmospheric interpretation of what can be gathered from other things)?
    you may wish to ask the question
    what of 'other-things' can be found to be offered that would be otherwise not available ?

    the answer and the question become intangible to the individual

    ...maybe start with a question 'what do i feel i need to create to present an end to something?'

    you may wish to try some light reading on the stages of grief to get an idea around what you feel you may like to say and how that relates to you.
    once it comes from you then it is something to offer the other
     
  11. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,245
    are you forcing an end ?
    or
    walking away as entropy takes its coarse ?
    or
    seeking to find something to say to force an end ?

    is your action a mechanism that defines the end point ?

    has the end point already arrived as a perception of both partys ?

    will you be asserting your perception over another person ?

    choose to ignore or answer any of those questions you feel like
    obviously all may be slightly excessively personal and you may wish to not answer precisely or at all which i completely agree with and comprehend.
     
  12. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

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    2,245
    when ?
    when are you ?
    when are you you ?
    when are you who you thought you are now ?
    is now ok to be tomorrow ?
    is now too soon to be what you were going to be ?

    you are not the ... ? ? ?
    what is is
    what is not is not

    a simple question 'can be' but a statement to the void
     
  13. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,767
    or
    "Bye."

    If you loved 'em once, part of you may love them forever.
    So.....say that you will miss him/her and wish him/her well.

    My 1st wife and I did not part without acrimony. And then, I remembered to be kind and gentle, so. whenever she was sad, she would call me and, we'd chat---sometimes for hours. She once said that I always made her feel better.
    And the part of me that still loved her was gladdened.
     
  14. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    4,618
    Did you have children and how old, perchance?
     
  15. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,245
    all relationships eventually break up(99%)
    the remaining 1% who dont have already had relationships that have broken up.
    all things end
    that is the nature of our material existence
    i could regale you with personal story's and lessons learnt, however i am not about to do that.
    things that would make you cry(assuming you had a heart)
    things that would make you angry
    these are things that happen
    the question i suggest best asked is "did you gain anything positive?"
    most people break up and go on about all the bad stuff, because they have been unable to do the work to fix themselves and or move on amicably to find someone they are better suited to.


    some people feel a need to place perimeters on all things.
    beginnings, middles ends etc etc ...
    a large majority of people are focused on making flags to place to mark the distance of their journey like a shopping list.
    that's ok if that's what your in to.
    many have bucket lists. that's quite a trend with many.

    the only truly valuable thing is that comes from the question of what you wish to have, keep, hold and/or continue to carry with you into the future.
    the only fact of that is because you suggest you feel a need to point an end to it.

    this is a physical manifestation of materialization of metaphorical spiritual determinism.

    love is held by no bond of determinsm
     
  16. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,190
    I told Sandra Joy, my lovely lady Labrador, as we waited for her to go into surgery (turned out to be stage 4 hemangiosarcoma - fatal) that I loved her very, very much and thanked her for sharing her life with me.

    When I divorced my first wife, I told her not to let the door slap her on the ass on the way out.
     
  17. Baldeee Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,617
    What always works for me is doing what a bunch of strangers on the internet who don't know me from Adam, and who don't know the circumstances, advise me to do.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
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  18. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,767
    I worked nights and weekends for for an electrician for 3 years while in high school.
    at the end, we had an argument that went something like this:
    You can't quit, I fire ya
    You can't fire, I quit ya
    repeat
    repeat

    ..................
    I have no recollection as to what led up to that dispute
    nor who got in the last word
    but
    It was definitely over
     
  19. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,245
    because most people get it right every time irl ?
    ?
    and asking for advice is a sign of weakness in your world ?
     
  20. candy Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    765
    With emotions there is no should. If you are feeling bitter you are feeling bitter. Accept that you feel what you feel and move on.
    Focus on being here now. What happened yesterday was yesterday; what you felt then you do not have to feel now.
     
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  21. Baldeee Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,617
    Every situation is as unique as the players involved.
    Not when the answers can be relevant.
     
  22. RainbowSingularity Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,245
    i agree
    instead of "weakness" which is a somewhat emotive word, i should have used "incompleteness" as a sense of directive purpose to be in the future.
    i sense your prose is flamboyant in that instance
    which is a little ironic in that my reply is somewhat emotive
    lol
    there for the grace of to-err
     
  23. Bowser Right Here, Right Now Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,770
    I feel no anger whatsoever. My horizon is wide open now. Perhaps I will become a gypsy and roam the country...or the world. I feel I have a limited number of years remaining. I've followed the traditional path, now I can blaze my own. The possibilities are endless. I'm reducing my possessions to only that which will fit in the trunk of my car. Been donating most of it to family, friends, and charity.

    Am I wrong to feel happy?
     

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